Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A Top Three List

Since the end of the fiscal year is rapidly approaching, I thought I would commemorate the event with a top three list. Cue the drum roll, maestro.

The Top Three Dumbass Things Overheard At Work This Fiscal Year.

3) I am not a Homophobe. I have sex with my wife every night.

2) (From a male employee.) I need to take the rest of the day off. My side is really hurting. I think my ovaries are acting up.

And finally the number one Dumbass thing uttered.
1) I wouldn't mind doing that extra work on top of my regular job. Does it come with a raise?

17 comments:

Sherri said...

LOL!! Hilarious!

The Phoenix said...

Great list. #3 is a classic.

With regards to #1, I would think you'd also get overtime.

ozymandiaz said...

There would be no way to make a top any number list of the dumbass things said around here and that would be just form the director. For that matter, I don't think he's said anything that wasn't inane. God help me.

divinecalm said...

Very funny.

:P fuzzbox said...

sherri: Thanks. Try not to work to hard. My shortened vacation has officially begun. Muhahaha.

phoenix: The whole post was inspired by a friend at work when we were bitching about #3. Not so oddly the other two were spoken by the same guy.

ozy: Perhaps one day I will post a notice that my manager puts out occasionally. They are a hoot.

divine calm: Thanks, I liked your new digs over there.

Bruce said...

Now I know why I don't miss working...

:P fuzzbox said...

bruce: You are my freakin' idol.

Ranea said...

His ovaries hurt huh. I wonder if his nipples hurt when he is ovulating :)

phred said...

Fuzz, what about your star employee that said he didn`t think his wife was pregnant, because he didn`t stick it in '' that '' far ??

Keshi said...

lol I like the first one!

Keshi.

:P fuzzbox said...

ranae: Hell no it is my nipples that hurt and Angry Joyce can kiss my ass.

phred: We need a longer list. When you think of some more. Comment above and we can tell them to kiss our ass.

keshi: That was soo funny when I heard him say that. Geez how freakin' redneck can you get!!!

Rocky said...

Funny! Very impressive work quotes. People say just as stupid shit up here.

Keshi said...

lol!

Keshi.

:P fuzzbox said...

rocky: Dumbass is world wide. They can all kiss my ass.

keshi: What not ROFLMFAO? Kiss my ass :) Smooches!!!

Keshi said...

aww :):)

ur now ROTFKMAO...got it? lol!

Keshi.

April said...

Dumbass people...they can kiss my ass, too.

Used to work at Lowe's...
1. A customer came in looking for (their words) "incest lights" (recessed, ya ass)

2. A customer returned a fan because it didn't "ovulate" (Oscillate, they meant)

3. A customer returned an item for their son...son's name "Shithead", pronounced "sha-theed"

No fucking lie.

(word verifiication...vdup)

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: Now thats funny.

april: Bet those Shitheads catch a lot of shit. Word verifacation is a thing of the past around here. Fuck the spambots. They can simply kiss my ass! Although playing with word verifacation letters can be a lot of fun.