Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Yes, it is that time again. Time for me to empty out the old e-mail box. I do not know why my co-workers, friends and family feel that I would be amused by the truly tasteless. I guess, they think I'm just cool like that. So today, I thought that I would share a small portion of off beat jokes that were sent to me in hopes that I would be offended and/or disgusted. Personally they just made me howl.
Remember that I did not make up these jokes. I am just passing them on because:
1) I don't have anything better to post.
2) I'm just tasteless that way.
WARNING: Each joke gets a little more tasteless. So don't say that I didn't warn you.
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one liter of water every day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed one kilo of E. Coli Bacteria found in water that contains feces. In other words, we are consuming one kilo of shit.
However, we do not run that risk by drinking rum, gin, whiskey, beer, wine, or any other liquors because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering, and fermentation. It is my duty to communicate to all you people, who are drinking water, to stop doing so. It is unhealthy and bad for you. THEREFORE - It is better to drink alcohol and talk shit than to drink water and be full of it.
A young guy calls in to work and tells his boss, ' Sorry boss, I can't come in to work today. My head aches, stomach is upset, and my leg's hurt.'
The boss tells him, 'I really need you today. When I am feeling like that, I just go to my wife and tell her to give me some sex and that makes everything better and I go to work.'
Two hours later the employee called in and said, 'Boss, I did what you said and I will be in soon... You have a nice house.'
You know that it is almost Summer when the girls start showing off their belly buttons.