Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Mail Day



Yes, it is that time again. Time for me to empty out the old e-mail box. I do not know why my co-workers, friends and family feel that I would be amused by the truly tasteless. I guess, they think I'm just cool like that. So today, I thought that I would share a small portion of off beat jokes that were sent to me in hopes that I would be offended and/or disgusted. Personally they just made me howl.

Remember that I did not make up these jokes. I am just passing them on because:
1) I don't have anything better to post.
2) I'm just tasteless that way.

WARNING: Each joke gets a little more tasteless. So don't say that I didn't warn you.
*********
It has been scientifically proven that if we drink one liter of water every day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed one kilo of E. Coli Bacteria found in water that contains feces. In other words, we are consuming one kilo of shit.

However, we do not run that risk by drinking rum, gin, whiskey, beer, wine, or any other liquors because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering, and fermentation. It is my duty to communicate to all you people, who are drinking water, to stop doing so. It is unhealthy and bad for you. THEREFORE - It is better to drink alcohol and talk shit than to drink water and be full of it.
*********

A young guy calls in to work and tells his boss, ' Sorry boss, I can't come in to work today. My head aches, stomach is upset, and my leg's hurt.'

The boss tells him, 'I really need you today. When I am feeling like that, I just go to my wife and tell her to give me some sex and that makes everything better and I go to work.'

Two hours later the employee called in and said, 'Boss, I did what you said and I will be in soon... You have a nice house.'
************

You know that it is almost Summer when the girls start showing off their belly buttons.


36 comments:

ozymandiaz said...

I was planning on masturbating at some point today but the pick ruined the whole thing...

Vic said...

Oh fuzz. You've so killed my sexy mood for day. Why oh why would you do that?!

:P fuzzbox said...

ozy: Sorry bout that. Think happy thoughts and maybe it will come back to you.

vic: I gave you fair warning ;) Hopefully though it didn't completely kill it. Just a small flesh wound.

Green Eyes said...

My eyes! My eyes! Somebody take the vision away! Please......

phlegmfatale said...

please tell me that's a photo shop thingie?

Mimi said...

OMG! Please, that had to be doctored! God I hope so! LMAO!

:P fuzzbox said...

green eyes: Think I should have put a stronger advisary?

pf: I have no idea but I certainly would not want to meet the guy that would photo shop something like that. That is a lie. I would luv to meet a guy that would photo shop something like that. I would share a good laugh and then knee him in the nads.

mimi: The only thing worse than this being real is this being fake. Either way it is a sick world. And me I'm just luvin' it like one big Mickey D commercial.

Bruce said...

OK, that picture is just wrong...

Curare_Z said...

it took me about 5 seconds to figure out the pic...I just didn't want to believe it. Then, I had to cover my mouth for fear of the rising bile spilling out on my desk.

Thanks for sharing today Fuzz. Really. ;-)

angel, jr. said...

I was not prepared for that picture.

:P fuzzbox said...

bruce: If luvin' that pic is wrong. Then I don't want to be right!

cz: Your welcome ;)

angel jr: I do not know if there is a way to prepare for that pic. Maybe eating a hearty breakfast :)

phred said...

That is just plain ole down home NASTY !!!
Damn !!

Going to the park will never be the same again. Thanks Fuzz.

Green Eyes said...

Fuzz, I wasn't prepared for a nasty pic, just some jokes. You're definitely Mr Popular for sharing though!

Good gawd that was disgusting! You better hope I can sleep tonight! lol

Sherri said...

OMG! Grossest thing I've ever seen! LOL!!!

Ben Heller said...

Great jokes Fuzz, and the picture ??

Bettie Page one day, and now this stunner.!!!!!!!

Where's the bathroom ?

The Phoenix said...

Maybe that's her siamese twin stuck to her crotch???

Ranea said...

LMFAO! Well if that pic doesn't send you running and screaming all the way to the gym or plastic surgeon nothing will.

:P fuzzbox said...

phred: You are very welcome, kind sir :)

green eyes: It might be a good thing that I cannot read my personal e-mail at work. I might have a few new hate mails.

sherri: Cool huh!!!

ben: Ain't she just the purtiest little thing?

phoenix: Maybe it's like your post the other day and she is just down with the sickness.

:P fuzzbox said...

ranea: I do not know if such beauty can be duplicated ;)

Laurie said...

She needs to get her navel pierced.

David Amulet said...

You drew us in, Fuzz. We come to expect hot pix from you ... and then you show us this. I feel betrayed.

This scar will take a long time to heal, my friend.

-- david

:P fuzzbox said...

laurie: What would you use to pierce it with? A hayfork?

david: One should never get to far into a comfort zone. A shock to the system every now and again keeps life interesting.

Perplexio said...

The first 2 were funny but that last one nearly made me lose my lunch.

guerrilla blogger said...

that is an amazing before and after shot, hardly even looks like the same girl. amazing what a few pizzas and bags of pork rinds can do....

April said...

thanks for sharing...

they were almost as funny as the first time I received them by email.

Guess people think I find the disgusting amusing, too.

;)

Keshi said...

**It is better to drink alcohol and talk shit than to drink water and be full of it.

this one craked me up big time with an 'ewwww' in my head tho :(


Keshi.

Pixie said...

Ewww no more summer pics thanks fuzz....:\

cleveland said...

son of a bitch fuzz thats just nasty but there was a time that when i was drinking whiskey that women klike that began to look good so that is why i had to stop because i would rather be full of shit than be in something like that furthermore nice post and good shock and awe pic keep em comin

:P fuzzbox said...

perplexio: Hope you kept it down. A lunch is a terrible thing to waste.

gb: A twinkie a day ....

april: Don't those kinda e-mails just brighten the day.

keshi: Turn that frown upside down. It's all in fun.

pixie: Darn I've missed you girl. Thanks for letting us know that you are still around. I don't see me posting any of these pics in the near future. Unless someone sends me a really good one.

cleveland: It has been awhile since I have gone down the shock and awe road. It has been far too long. Thanks Bud!!!

michaelm said...

A forced hour of contact with her could be a detterent to crime, no?
If I look any longer at the photo I may bark up some chinese food I ate three years ago.
Good God, Fuzz.
Any pics of her in a bikini? (just kidding, no, really, just kidding)

~m

:P fuzzbox said...

I would have to up my parental advisary if I were to show that much flesh in a pic.

Keshi said...

:) all's well!

Keshi.

the weirdgirl said...

In that last pic, you so know she's going commando too.

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: Glad to hear it!!!

weirdgirl: Now that's phunny!!!

Rocky said...

Wow. I wish that skirt left more to the imagination... No, wait, I don't want to imagine anything about it!

:P fuzzbox said...

Too late, I know that it is already burned into your brain. Gotta Luv It :)