Thursday, March 09, 2006

Sign Offs

A while back, I had a post regarding a signature, on e-mails, used by a lady from the corporate headquarters. After her signature, she signs off with, 'Have a blessed day.' I remarked that perhaps I did not want to have a blessed day maybe I wanted to have a day filled with debauchery and I did not particularly appreciate her remark.

In a game of Christian oneupmanship, a fellow employee at the site where I work now signs off after her signature, in e-mails, ' Make everyone you meet feel as if they have been kissed by an angel.' Again I must take issue with this statement. Sometimes when I first meet people, I do not want to feel as if I have kissed an angel. Sometimes I want to feel as if Satan's own daughter has smacked me on the ass and told me to shut up and take it like a man.

I think in order to get in on the game of Christian Oneupmanship, I will add a new signature phrase at the bottom of my e-mails at work. ' In case of Rapture, don't bother sending a reply. Just forward this e-mail along to the rest of your heathen buddies.'


siren said...

I've never seen that on e-mail at work, but I have heard it on voicemail. If your Rapture tagline gains popularity, I'll be sure to get that e-mail, the heathen that I am.

We have a guy at work that signs his, "Nothing makes you more productive than the last minute". I like to sign mine with "I Quit".

Curare_Z said...

Found my way over from some other sites. Good writing!

I can't STAND this kind of place or no. At my old job, this woman used to always tell me to have a blessed day after we finished a conversation. I just once wish I had said to her:

"If God blessed me today, I wouldn't be at work."

David Amulet said...

I like your idea of taking it up a notch--why not send something proselytizing and really test the waters? If you're lucky, you can get any such reference banned for everyone.

-- david

ella m. said...

How is all of that religious force feeding not a HR issue? ( though I do love your rejoinder) Our work email signatures are supposed to be our job title and store location only.

My current personal signature is:

"If I wanted your opinion I'd beat it out of you"

Vic said...

Lady around these parts signs hers "The will of God will never take you where the grace of God can't protect you." Oh yeah. I'm thinking something along the lines of "Stripping paid me more, but I came here for the "benefits."

Oh, and can I apply for the Satan's daughter job. Sounds like its made for me. ;-)

:P fuzzbox said...

siren: If you get one be sure and forward it back. I'm pretty darn sure that I'll be around. Luv the 'I quit.' sign-off.

curare_z: Thanks for your kind words. And yes if we were truly blessed then we certainly would not be reading any e-mails at work.

david: I do not care if they are banned or not. I would just like to see some originality.

ella: I like that one. Angry Joyce makes a similar statement to me all the time although it employs a few select curses to give it additional flava.

Mimi said...

Love this one, even though I am religious I know what you mean.That kinda talk irriates me sometimes too. I am sooo fickle! Funny you posted this today because my blog is about religion today. You might not wanna read it! LOL! :)

:P fuzzbox said...

vic: Now that is a sign off that I can get behind.

mimi: I'll give it a read.

Green Eyes said...

I rarely read the signatures, I'm more of a "what's the point?" and move on.

Go ahead with the Rapture Fuzz, let's see what happens.

Laurie said...

LOL... you are too funny!!

I need to think up a witty signature. Hmmm..

kari said...

Great idea. Now you've got me thinking.

:P fuzzbox said...

green eyes: You do have a point. But for some reason I just have to look.

laurie: I was also thinking about turning that phrase just a bit in order to read. 'Make everyone you meet feel as if they have just been felt up by a horny little devil.' ;)

kari: When you get a good one let me know. And thanks for popping in.

Bruce said...

I'm one of those heathen buddies that gets those forwarded emails. :)

Keshi said...

Have a blessed day? WTF hell no! lol!

**as if Satan's own daughter has smacked me on the ass and told me to shut up and take it like a man.

Now I like that Fuzz!

I'd rather sign it off saying "wuteva"...


jane said...

well...uh...I'd probably be on that forwarding email list. *sigh*

April said...

Here in the armpit of the bible belt...I hear that "Have a blessed day" shit quite often.

Never fails to make me want to smack them.

I've always been more the..."Don't tell me what fucking kind of day to have." type of person.

Rocky said...

Great counter attack to the sign-offers. Mine would probably read: "Hope your blessed day doesn't get f#cked up by Judas!"

:P fuzzbox said...

bruce: Much like my neighbors car whose bumper sticker reads,' In case of Rapture, This car will be unoccupied.' I'm not too worried.

keshi: Wutevah :)

jane: You will be in good company.

april: People just put way too much pressure on others.

rocky: And it generally does anyway.

Anelize said...

LOL!!! I just loved this post. I hate it when THOSE people tell me to have a blessed day. As if they have cornered the market on blessings, and feel they can give them out willy nilly, like dispensations. My immediate reaction, generally unspoken in polite company (altho my husband has been known to say this to complete strangers) is a handy "fuck off". *snicker*

:P fuzzbox said...

Whenever I hear someone say it, I think back on the old George Carlin routine about 'Have a nice day.'

'Maybe I have had 57 nice days in a row. I am ready for a crappy day. Telling me to have a nice day adds to much pressure. But it isn't hard to have a crappy day at all. Some mornings all you have to do is get out of bed.'

I know that is paraphrased a bit. But it has always struck me as correct.