I like infomercials. It is an affliction I suppose. I never buy the crap that they are shelling out. For me, they are simple mindless entertainment of a special kind that allows me to turn off the stresses of the day. The thing that amazes me the most about them is how they can find such a plethora of down on their luck actors. How these actors can sit there and smile gracefully while stooping so low is a wonder in and of itself.
My favorite infomercial came out about 10 years ago and featured a barbeque grill that ran off newspaper. This is the most tempted that I have ever been to actually buy some of their crap. I caught myself reaching for the phone on countless occasions but alas I never bought one. It is kind of sad thinking that I will never know the taste of a brisket flavored with the news of the day.
Last night while watching a little boob tube, I came across an infomercial for Cross Crunch. It is a ab exercising device that can be yours for only two payments of $29.99, but wait they will make one payment for you. So it can be yours for under 30 bucks plus shipping and handling but wait. They will also send you another Cross Crunch for free, if you call in the next thirty seconds.
Why do you need two? You can use only one at a time. Maybe you could send one to a family member or friend. Nothing says 'Luv ya fatass" like the gift of exercise equipment. If I wait long enough, I might be able to pick up a couple at Walgreen's. They have a whole aisle dedicated to 'Seen on TV' crap. Can't wait to spread some of that 'Luv ya FatAss' luv come Christmastime. But knowing my luck, I will receive this damn thing come Christmastime. It will be added to my collection of received Info-crap, which includes a onion blossom maker, a deer whistle, a coin sorter, and heated socks. And no Crazy Dan, these are not gift ideas.
Update on Chupacabra Story
For the actual report of the Chupacabra incident in my Sunday Posting. Click Here. It is about midway down the page and is titled, 'Flesh Colored Creature Spotted Near Dickens, Texas---Chupacabra.' Be sure and click on the Bigfoot spotted in Dickens County link at the start of this story while over there. My hunting trip is going to kick ass this weekend. Hell who knows I might even be able to set up guided hunts. I am soo freakin' stoked!!!
As a little background into the story this is the same woman that reported seeing a UFO land in the yard of the correctional facility a few years back when she was working the tower as a night shift guard. So she is a certified UFO watcher or some other type of certifacation.