Friday, March 24, 2006

Trapped In A Man's Body


As you can tell by the pics that I post and my template in general, I love the ladies. I have always been comfortable around the fairer sex. I love the way they walk. I love the way they talk. I love the way they move. I love the warm smiles and the wicked grins. I love the sultry come hither glances and I love the fire in their eyes. Although I found the woman of my dreams and no longer shopping around, I would be the basest of liars if I said that I don't like to window shop. It's not like I am shopping for keeps or even going out for a test drive. I am just appreciating what's out there.

On our first date, Angry Joyce asked me if I was married, single, divorced, gay, or what. I simply responded that I was a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Although we both got a laugh out of my response, there is a nugget of truth in what I said. One of my favorite things to do on a Friday night was to hang out sitting in a barstool at P.J. Belly's Blues Bar knocking down Crown and Cokes and listening to some mighty fine blues. On many occasions the Cliff to my Norm was a gorgeous lesbian that I will for anonymity sake call Butch. (She would get a kick out of that as she is one of the most feminine women, in appearance, that I have ever known.)

Butch and I would sit back talk about our jobs, our sex lives, news of the day, and life in general. One of our favorite activities was to keep a close eye on the front door and discuss the attributes of the women that walked through the front door. I suppose it must seem a little strange for a man and a woman to be talking about this subject. We weren't looking to score with any of the ladies walking through those doors. We were both of the opinion that we loved this bar and did not want to ruin our good times by having to dodge someone that we might have hooked up with there.

Shortly before I met Angry Joyce, P.J. Bellies shut down and I lost track of Butch. But every once in a while when I see a certain type of good looking woman, I think of how Butch would really appreciate the way she looked.

If you are wondering what led me to relate this little tale, it is a shameless plug for Beauty vs. The Beast. The topic this time around is 'What are the three most endearing qualities in the opposite sex.' Cissa Fireheart and Phred take on the task this time around. I think that you will enjoy the way that they tackled the subject. I know that I did.

32 comments:

Dr. Cissa Fireheart said...

You kow Fuzz, I do that with hubby! We'll go to a stip club and rate the strippers then turn our attention ot the incomming traffic. I used to think he was odd because he never tips the girls, and being a former exotic dancer, I know how hard these girls work....

Then I realized how fun people watchign can be! We really need to do it again...we haven't since we got back to this place....

Ben Heller said...

"Lesbian in a man's body". Brilliant Fuzz, and SO much more acceptable to the fairer sex than calling yourself a dirty perv.

I'm kidding, I love 'em too

ozymandiaz said...

Likewise I have worked with and partied with many a lesbian. I have used the same line. I even have corroborating statements to the fact. On two occasions I have dated girls who had also dated girls. Both told I kiss the bearded clam like a woman. I take that as a great compliment as I relish the task. The first lesbian I ever hung out with, though, was friggin’ awesome. We would go out drinking and she would pick up babes for me. Fine women too. I’m not surprised as her girlfriend was drop dead gorgeous. I love hanging out with chicks who love chicks because theirs no pressure. I can spend the entire time being turned on by them and be fine that the experience is visceral.

:P fuzzbox said...

cissa: I love to people watch. But tell your husband that it's tits for tips not toys for tots.

ben: Just a little stretch there it is still truth in advertising.

ozy: I have been told the same thing on my tongue skills. Later after telling her that line, I was able to prove it. I think that having lesbian friends are cool much for the same reason you gave. There is no pressure to make any move and it is like hanging out with the guys but much better to look at.

Mimi said...

Great story! It is a shame you and your buddy Butch lost touch!

guerrilla blogger said...

dude, a female freind that you can talk about chicks with is the holy grail of freinds...you win!...

The Phoenix said...

A lesbian trapped in a man's body...that's classic.

Green Eyes said...

People bar watching? One of my most favorite hobbies!

I can see you and Butch now, Siskel and Ebert style! lol

Ranea said...

Now that we know your a Lesbian trapped in a mans body. The question is, do you take Angry Joyce shopping without complaints? :)

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: Such is life. I just treasure the times that we had.

gb: Thanks my friend, I will prepare the acceptance speech.

phoenix: I had never heard anyone use the term when I said it. I have heard several comediennes use it since. I have not seen a dime from any of those jokers. The theiveses stoles it from me, the dirty filthy hobbittses.

green eyes: It is a strange visual.

ranea: It is according to what we are shopping for.

COMMENT_POLICE said...

GUERRILLA BLOGGER HAS PROVEN HIS IQ TO BE AS SUCH... THAT OF A GORILLA!
CLASSIC!
-COMMENT POLICE


-HI PHOENIX... I LOVE YOU...

Perplexio said...

The whole topic of lesbians just reminds me of Robin Williams in Good Morning Vietnam:

The Mississippi River broke through a protective dike today. What is a protective dike? Is it a large woman that says "Don't go near there! But Betty- Don't go near there! Don't go down by the river!"... No, we can't say "dyke" on the air, we can't even say "lesbian" anymore, it's "women in comfortable shoes. Thank You."

siren said...

It's really nice to see that someone out there appreciates women for who they are inherently...not just what they can do for them :)

Curare_Z said...

I have to say that even as a straight women I can appreciate a beautiful woman when I see her.

I've got more guy friends than girl friends...and the guy friends all swear that I have a man's soul stuck in my woman's body. But since I L - U - V men, would that make me a gay man in a woman's body? YUCK.

Your "lesbian in man's body" sounds MUCH better! :-)

Sugardaddy said...

can totally identify w/lesbian in man's body. HG says I am the woman in our relationship.

:P fuzzbox said...

comment police: I hope you are not taking off for spelling. You do know what they say about people who live in glass houses.

perplexio: I prefer the ones in spiked heeled shoes.

siren: I thank you. I could have gone on and on.

cz: You know it is a bit of a double standard. Lesbians are fine to most people but many are really down on gay men. Perhaps they suffer from a lack of identifiably cool celebraty role models. Sure they had the Rock but he was overshadowed by Liberace, Richard Simmons, and that Carson guy from Queer Eye. Maybe if Vin Diesel or someone like that came out of the closet, gay men would get a better rap.

:P fuzzbox said...

sugardaddy: That sounds cool. Hope it isn't because she likes to sit around and scratch herself.

COMMENT_POLICE said...

THEY SHOULDN'T WALK AROUND NUDE?
-COMMENT POLIZE

:P fuzzbox said...

cp: I was thinking more along the lines of the outragous heating and cooling costs. But traditionally I think that it has something to do with glass shards getting stuck in your ass.

Laurie said...

Darn, you lost touch with her? Sounds like my kind of woman ;-)

:P fuzzbox said...

Workin' the night shift, Laurie. I am too this weekend.

Yeah it's a shame that I lost touch she was certainly quite a gal.

RAVEN the PITA said...

We need more fuzzies in this world... Im on night shift too this weekend - just about time for bed! ;-)

:P fuzzbox said...

pita: I'm going home and getting some sleep. Have a good days sleep.

Crazy Dan said...

Hey Fuzz, I will be a beast writer if you can handle it. Yeah thats right I said handle it.

Ruben said...

This post caught me offguard and spanked me. LOL

:P fuzzbox said...

crazy dan: Thanks, I'll be giving you a shout out.

ruben: Glad you enjoyed.

angel, jr. said...

Lesbian trapped in a man's body! That is classic.

michaelm said...

Regarding the admiration of the opposite sex,I usually tell people, "I can look at the menu, I just can't order anything."
Interesting stuff, Fuzz.

:P fuzzbox said...

angel jr: Ain't it though.

michael: That is a good way to put it.

Keshi said...

**I simply responded that I was a lesbian trapped in a man's body

hahaha good one mate!


It's ok to look...as long as u dun touch :)

Keshi.

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: Your right. Looking is good but touching is a good way to lose a finger or some other body part.

Keshi said...

lol!

Keshi.