Saturday, March 18, 2006

I'm Beastly


I have volunteered to keep Siren's, Beauty versus The Beast site up while she is on a break dealing with some personal issues. I am a big fan of the site and it would be a shame for this great idea to not continue.

I am currently seeking volunteers for guest posters on the site. If you are not familiar with the site, I would urge you to give it a read. The posts are filled with some great writing from numerous guest authors and it seems to bring out the best in each of them. If you would like to join the illustrious list of guest authors on the site, just click on my e-mail address on my sidebar. I would love to hear from you and I know that Siren would appreciate it.

I promise to do my best in cleaning up my act over there but around here you have no such luck on that score, so in the spirit of Beauty versus The Beast, here is a little point/counterpoint joke for the weekend.

A family is having dinner when the son asks his father how many different kind of boobies there are in the world. His father tells him 'There are three. In her 20's they're like melons, round and firm. In her 30's and 40's they're like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. In her 50's they're like onions, you see them and you cry.'

The daughter then asks the mother how many different kind of willies there are in the world. The mother smiles and says, 'There are three. In his 20's it is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30's and 40's it's like a birch flexible but reliable. After his 50's it is like a Christmas Tree. Dead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.'

24 comments:

Mimi said...

You helped me start the day with a laugh! Thanks!
BTW-Just curious, what does the "bluggin" mean by mine and other links? Sorry if thats a dumb one! I do have my blonde moments!

Vic said...

Nice Fuzz, but your joke doesn't take into account surgery. I fully intend to make hubby pay for a boob job when they start to turn south. I should get something for birthing his babies and letting them nurse for so freakin' long!

Oh, and you know I'm with you on BvB. Keep me on the list if you're so inclined.

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: You are very welcome. As for the bluggin' feature, I use blogrolling for adding links. It is a handy service and lets me know when those links have a new post. I think that in it's default setting it prints 'new post'. I wanted it to fit my theme so I just programed it to say bluggin'. My word for blogging on my site.

I won't get a kick back or anything but I will say that it makes adding links easy and the way it helps by knowing which blogs have a new post up. It doesn't always work on those sites that have a different domain than blogspot but it does help speed things along in my quest of ultimate blog whoredom.

vic: I will certainly keep you on the list. I enjoyed your last post there and will be calling on you again. Thanks soo much!!!

David Amulet said...

Great joke, I hadn't seen this one!

Thanks for stepping up on BvtB. I'll remain on the roster, no doubt, when you need a Beast (my e-mail address is davidamulet[at]yahoo[dot]com). It's been a lot of fun and I want to support Siren during this time; just don't ask me to write one in the next ten days or so while I am moving ...

-- david

Ranea said...

LMFAO, that joke rocks! Count me in if you need a beauty on BvB. I'd love to help out while Siren is on break.

April said...

Hmmm...I'd volunteer. But I'm not usually one to do so. I've enjoyed what I've read on that site in the past.

:P fuzzbox said...

david: Thanks I thought the joke fitting. I will give you ample time so enjoy your move although personally I would rather go to a dentist than move.

ranea: You will be hearing from me. Thanks for stepping up.

april: Thanks for volunteering. I will be in touch. You're a sweetheart for doing so.

Green Eyes said...

Great joke, Fuzz, thanks. You know if you need me, I'm there.

siren said...

Thanks, Fuzz, for all of your help. I really appreciate you doing this and I know you'll do a fantastic job, as always.

:P fuzzbox said...

green eyes: Thanks and I will take you up on that. Guarenteed!!

siren: If I've said it once then I have said it twice. I luv the new user pic. You don't know how happy I am that you stopped by and gave your approval. It means a lot. Take care. I eagerly await your return both on Crimanally Stoopid and BvB.

Ben Heller said...

Have you ever thought of a stand up routine Fuzz ? LOL

April said...

Of course I'm a sweetheart. Doesn't everyone know that??? ;-)

I'm typing like crazy today, too...can't seem to keep my mouth shut...

starbender said...

Luv'd the joke-so in other words-- we don't age like fine wine!
:o

:P fuzzbox said...

ben: I have allergic reaction to rotten fruit and I don't dodge well anymore.

april: :)

starbender: Time will tell or at least tell on us.

Metal Mark said...

Glad I have this to look forward to.

LisaBinDaCity said...

Tacky but funny as hell!

Hmmm, what does that say about me? Hehe ;-)

Sherri said...

LOL! The balls are just for decoration!!

Dr.John said...

Thanks for your comment. Funny story. Consider yourself tagged. You should now list your seven favorite songs.

:P fuzzbox said...

mm: Have a Holly Jolly Christmas. :)

lisa: Perhaps it goes to show that you have a warped but discerning sense of taste ;)

sherri: I might not ever be able to sing 'Oh Christmas Tree' ever again.

dr. j: You are very welcome kind sir. I have already fulfilled this tag. You can check it out in my archives. It was the fourth update on my Vacation post of March 1, 2006. I remember it well because it was the greatest comment section of all time thanks to a lot of extremely witty and pissed off bloggers who made it a vacation blog well worth remembering.

Keshi said...

It's Monday and...Of melons and Christmas tress ha Fuzzy? lol!

Keshi.

Bruce said...

As long as it doesn't have to do with love/dating/mating, I'll volunteer. :)

Big Ben said...

My christmas tree wants a chocolate starfish on top of it.

The Phoenix said...

At first glance, it looked like the title of this post was "Beastaility."

And then Sherri says something about balls being decoration...

What kind of place you running here hoss?

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: You never fail to put a smile on my face :)

bruce: Thank you kind sir. I'll give you a shout.

big ben: Take us to the Mathews bridge. Thanks for stopping by.

phoenix: Phun and Games!!!