Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Talking To MY Muse

Sometimes the muses sing to me with a voice to loud to ignore and sometimes I strain to hear their voice only to hear the weight of their silence bearing down upon me.

Today is one of those days when Thalia has deserted me. I can only hope for her quick return.

So for now here is a quick joke to tide everyone over while the muse of comedy takes a quick break.

A little boy and a little girl start to school together. Every day they sit and have lunch together and every day they both eat a chicken salad sandwich. One day the little girl brings a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

The little boy asks her if she stopped liking chicken salad sandwiches. She replied, " No, I still like them but I have to stop eating them because I am starting to grow feathers." The little boy asks her if he can see. She agrees to show him on the playground at recess. At recess, they go behind the bushes and the little girl raises her skirt and drops her panties. The little boy tells her, " You are growing feathers. You probably stopped eating chicken salad sandwiches just in time."

Soon the little boy brings a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to lunch. The little girl asks if he has stopped liking chicken salad sandwiches. He replies that he still likes them but that he has started to grow feathers himself. She asks, " Let me see them." He agrees to show them to her on the playground at recess. At recess, they go behind the bushes and he drops his pants and undies. The little girl looks up at him in shock and tells him, "You're too late. You have already grown the neck and a couple of gizzards."

This was one of my father-in-law's favorite jokes. In today's society, this joke could never happen. Either the little girl or the little boy would be busted for sexual harassment.



27 comments:

Dr.John said...

True enough. Our society which is much more open about sex is also much weirder. Our kids are caught in the nonsense.Cute joke though.

ozymandiaz said...

I'm going to tell you this although I haven't the foggiest reason why. I have gone thru my life having never given my unit any moniker. Never named it once. It has now, though, received one that I find pretty funny. For some strange reason about a week ago while talking with my wife I expressed that I had to relive Mr. Winkey. Don't ask, I don't know where that came from (I seem to spend a lot of time lately completely baffled by myself). A few mornings later as we lay in bed spooning It was referred to as a woodchuck (as in how much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood). So now, after nearly forty years of existence, my unit has become autonomous and is named Winkey the Woodchuck. Life is strange.

ella m. said...

Shit you'd probably get accused of sexual harassment just for telling the joke to the wrong preson. Sad isn't it?

:P fuzzbox said...

dr john: It is a dicotomy.

ozy: Maybe you were just waiting for the perfect moniker to come along. Winky the Woodchuck is quite the name.

ella: It is a sad commentary on todays political correctness.

angel, jr. said...

Hilarious. Somehow though I believe it may have more truth as a story then as a joke.

The Phoenix said...

Cock-a-doodle-doo

Fuckkit said...

Heh, haven't heard that one before but rest assured that I shall now tell it to death.

Ranea said...

That's too cute! I haven't seen my husbands neck and gizzards in a while. Maybe if tell him this one he'll show em' to me;)

kornfedrednek said...

cute joke fuzz
my nephew is 4 and calls his a winky, Spud calls his a "dick", and sometimes he is-heha
i always taught my son penis, but hopefully he will pick his own name as he sees fit.
speaking of woodchuck:
as an older lady, my only regret is all the "morning wood" that was taken for granted. :(
don't let it go to waste girls!

:P fuzzbox said...

angel jr: Maybe so, that reminds me of the old joke of: A new father upon the birth of his new daughter picked the child up and started blowing into her anus. The doctor asked him what in the hell are you doing. The man replied that he was trying to blow the dick out.

phoenix: You have just the user pic to pull that comment off.

fuckkit: Feel free to let 'er rip. I tell it quite frequently myself.

ranea: Thats just sad :(

kfredneck: I have never named mine. Perhaps I will have to give it a name.

Mimi said...

I love that joke! Those kids would be expelled and it would be all over the news. they probably would be facing charges from the law too!

Perplexio said...

That joke reminds me of the "Mommy Mommy" jokes my father used to tell me... I only remember two of them:

"Mommy, Mommy, I don't want to go to Europe!"

"Shut up kid, and keep swimming!"


and, my favorite:

"Mommy, Mommy, Can I lick the bowl?"

"Shut up and flush it like everyone else!"


Again a joke that probably wouldn't happen-- the mother would be reported to DCFS and the child would be taken away. There is another one that I stumbled upon years later that is just plain wrong and far too oedipal for my tastes:

"Mommy, Mommy, why are you moaning?"

"Shut up and keep licking!"


*shudders*

Vic said...

Ah Fuzz. You took me right back to kindergarten where I was busted for hanging upside down on the monkey bars and showing the little boys my panties. Yeah, that was the beginning...

Perplexio said...

ozymandiaz: At some point mine was dubbed "Moses" because he leads "his people" to the "promised land." And because of an old adage I once heard from a woman-- "It's not the size of the prize, it's the motion of the ocean.... BUT with the right combination of both a man could part the red sea."

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: You are most likely correct.

perplexio: Maybe it can part the red sea but it takes a different body part to earn you your red wings.

vic: I was always one of those little boys standing beneath the monkeybars at school gazing up in wonder. Aaahhh the good old days.

Ben Heller said...

Now we know where angry Joyce gets her sense of humour.By the way,didn't the little girl ask if she could choke it ?

Perplexio said...

Ben: When I used to work at an amusement park selling these stupid junk souvenir hats... Some of the hats were shapped like chickens. The packaging on the chicken hats had a label that read (I shit you not): "Caution: Choking Hazard"

I actually bought one of these hats to wear at drunken parties. Instead of wearing it on my head, I tied it around my waist and referred to it as a "strap-on cock"-- in hindsight I realize this was incorrect as the cock is the rooster, not the chicken. But under the influence of alcohol it was much more humorous.

Green Eyes said...

It's always an interesting read in the comment section of Fuzz's blog!

Funny joke, Fuzz, thanks.

:P fuzzbox said...

ben: Both of her dad was a lot of laughs and her mother has not lost her sense of humour at all.

green eyes: I always think that the great people that come over here make for a great comment section. Todays is getting a bit of a chatroom feel to it.

Curare_Z said...

To further the chatroom feel, here's another joke for you guys:

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked the man why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, " I am a Father."

The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar Like that."

The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."

The boy responded, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two Grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way."

Getting impatient, the priest then said, "I am the Father of Hundreds"and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said, "Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of Your collar".

siren said...

Thanks, Fuzz. I needed a good laugh :)

Green Eyes said...

LMFAO!!!

Smart boy!

:P fuzzbox said...

cz: Excellent joke. It reminds me of another. 'Two preists were sitting together talking. One asked the other if he thought that preists would ever be given the right to marry. The other replied, 'Probably not in our lifetime but maybe in our childrens.''

siren: You are very welcome.

green eyes: I don't know about a smart boy but I have been called a smart ass more than once.

Mimi said...

I remember those "Mommy Mommy" jokes.

-Mommy, Mommy, I don't wanna go to China!

Shut up and put your other foot in the box!

tubawench said...

as an older lady, my only regret is all the "morning wood" that was taken for granted. :(
don't let it go to waste girls!

Krednek: Say it isn't so! I will be sure to take advantage of it when my husband returns. :-O

Keshi said...

ROFLZZZZZZ! :):)


Keshi.

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: Those jokes are an art of simplicity. Much like the name jokes. Such as, "What do you call a swimmer with no arms or legs? Bob"

tubawench: Korn Fed Rednek is a lady of infinite humor. Everyone would do themselves a favor if they would go over there and support a new blogger. Although our politics don't always mesh perfectly, she always gives me something to think about and something to smile about.

keshi: You always say the sweetest things. :)