Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Now that most of my at home online activities are spent in the pursuit of being a blog whore, I have very little time pursuing what a got broad band for in the first place; free porn. Yes, free porn and broadband internet are two terms that many find synonymous. Dial up just does not cut it for porn. The gradual bit by bit unmasking of the picture takes eons and don't even think about video. Waiting for video to download on dial up is worse than sitting through thirty minutes of commercials, while waiting for a movie to start up in a theatre.
I do not know why but lying sick and feverish in my bed Monday afternoon, I found my mind thinking about a site that I once was prone to browse through on occasion. The site featured normal guys wearing a mask and photographed and video-taped having sex with porn starlets. The site was free but for a nominal sum each month, you could become a member. Membership entitled one to have their name placed in the sweepstakes. If your name was randomly selected, then you could don the mask and be the next man to be on the site having sex from among a bevy of porn starlets. It was pornography's answer to reality T.V.'s, 'The bachelor', with a little bit of 'Beauty and The Geek' thrown in for good measure. Why this idea hasn't transcended to cable television is beyond me.
I could never personally become a member of this site and risk winning the sweepstakes. First of all, I am afraid that I would have a terrible case of stagefright. I don't even like to piss in the urinal of a crowded restroom. (I just hate embarrassing others ;) And secondly, Angry Joyce would do Lorena Bobbitt one better. Not only would she cut off my pecker but would stick it in the blender and make a cock milkshake. Lastly, and you can take this to the bank, if I am on video giving Jenna Jamison all that I got, I will want the whole wide world to see my face.
I know what your asking. Where's the link? Find it yourselves. I am responsible for no ones perversion except my own. Angry Joyce is firing up the damned blender already. I do not need anyone else pissed about this post.