Monday, May 15, 2006

It's Over


Yes it is truly over. My mullet man neighbor is gone for good. No more will I hear the whine of the police siren and mullet man's wife's lilting voice screaming, "Take that sumbitch to jail." No more will I hear the sound of love as fine breakable Elvis memorabilia hits the wall.

How do I know that he is gone for good? How do I know that after the countless times that he has come and gone that now is truly the end? The answer is simple really. When he was going to be gone for a couple of days or a week, his beer cooler would be gone from under his carport. When he was going to be gone for a couple of weeks or months, his beer cooler would be gone from underneath his carport and he would take his dawg. But now the end is truly here for his beer cooler is gone from underneath the carport, he took his dawg, and this time he loaded up his barbeque pit and hauled ass.

Without the love of a redneck woman, he has cold beer, his dawg, and his barbeque pit. He has nothing for a redneck to come back for. It is over.

42 comments:

Crazy Dan said...

Deep down I know that you will miss him for it was a long battle for the tilte of the biggest hillbilly but finaly the title is back in the hands it belongs, yours. Congradulations you should celebrate by getting a trophy tattoed on you. I need your address by the way I have some soveniers form Corpus for you guys.

ozymandiaz said...

Farewell Mulletman
Her heart turned into a warm beercan
That was too much fur this here man
So I loaded my dawg n my bar-b-q grill
And headed to the nearest land fill
To knock down sum beers and shoot some stuff
After i stop and get some snuff

Anelize said...

Don't get too excited. What makes you think that your redneck woman neighbor won't end up with another mullet man just like him, but with a different dawg?

*smirk*

:P fuzzbox said...

cd: A new tat celebrating the event would rule.

ozy: How did you know he dipped snuff? ;)

anelize: Thanks for dashing my hopes. I was hoping that she would follow.

Big D said...

That is called the sweet life.

Bruce said...

Ah, redneck love; there's nuthin' like it. :)

angel, jr. said...

I never understood the mullet. Who created it and why it caught on.

Sherri said...

You KNOW it's serious when they load up the bbq! LOL!!

guerrilla blogger said...

yeah, the bbq is gone, that is serious...

i don't know where my blog is, i didnt' delete it, it just doesn't show up....

:P fuzzbox said...

big d: Sweet and spicy.

bruce: Nuthin' 'tall.

angel, jr.: It is a question that is perhaps best left unanswered.

sherri: It is a show of finality.

gb: I was wondering what happened. I thought perhaps that the macho man had taken over your blog.

siren said...

I have to agree with anelize...it can't be too long before there's a replacement, with mullet and dog. It's like having a Fox reality TV show next door :)

Mimi said...

Well I am happy for you that you will have some peace, at least for awhile. Those redneck women don't stay single for long.

Ranea said...

Are you sad you lost a source of entertainment Fuzzy? Never fear, there is another redneck right around the corner!

Curare_Z said...

If you're really lucky, she won't find another mullet man, but will find a fem-mullet instead...

:P fuzzbox said...

siren: And a bad one at that.

mimi: Everyone seems to be enjoying spreading doom and gloom today.

ranea: Isn't there always?

curare: Woo Hoo, Now that's the spirit. I am feeling 100% better now.

Catch said...

haha Mimi is right....they dont stay alone too long ya know. One morning you may wake up and the barbq will be back, the beer cooler will be back and you will hear the dog barking...lol

Perplexio said...

But did he bring his country music collection with him too? If he left that behind-- he MIGHT still come back.

oldfartswife said...

Careful fuzz
that sumbitch couda taken off werk, and gone fishin fer a few weeks, da dawg, cooler, BBQ and
is what he packed fer southern comfert.
I am a true redneck.
Do you use the term "cut the grass", or "mow the lawn"?
We "move the goat" to git er done :)

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: It is hard to keep a good redneck gal down.

perplexio: Oddly enough, classic rock has supplanted C&W as the music of choice among rednecks. It tends to lean towards the southern rock classics of such bands as Lynard Skynard, 38 Special, and Molly Hatchet. But oddly enough there is quite a following for Chicago. It is a strange and wondrous world.

old fart's wife: Round here I just call it mowin' the grass. But this is a rare event as city water is to damn high to be waterin' the yard with and it stays dryer than a bone most all summer. It would pert near starve a goat. Also you bring up a good point as it would be one thing to take your pit on a fishin' trip but it has been a week and a half and a cold front moved in three days ago that made the fishin' fer shit. So if he hasn't made it back, I figger he's gone fer good.

Perplexio said...

fuzz: Chicago!?! Say it ain't so! I dig classic rock as much as the next guy, but my classic rock tastes lean more towards the prog and/or British these days (Yes, The Who, Starcastle, King Crimson, Genesis, Kansas, Queen, Bad Company, etc. etc.)

Pixie said...

I agree with anelize that may be the type of man she goes for. hee.

Green Eyes said...

Ding Dong, the Redneck's gone!
Come along, see the song!

Ding Dong, the Redneck's finally gone!

OK, celebrating while we can, Fuzz! Cheers!

:P fuzzbox said...

perplexio: Just having a little fun. Most rednecks hate a horn section. It's not what they call rock and roll.

pixie: Meanie. ;)

green eyes: Woo Hoo, for now.

Perplexio said...

So the rednecks are the ones at any given concert who yell out "FREEBIRD!" regardless of who is playing?

They could be at Carnegie Hall listening to Yo-Yo Ma and yell out "FREEBIRD!" (although, I seriously doubt any rednecks would go see Yo-Yo Ma live-- but if one of them did, he would more than certainly yell out "FREEBIRD!")

jane said...

hahahaha Your posts always make me laugh. Git 'er done!

dragonflyfilly said...

ditto ---HAH HAHHAHHH AHHHAHHAH AHHAH HAH HAH, all i can do is laugh my head off at this post...tres funny...YES INDEED!
THANKS!

michael said...

What about the car he discovered when he was mowing his lawn?
The mullet is so classic.
He looks like a Three Dog Night fan...

~m

:P fuzzbox said...

jane: Thank you. I appreciate that.

dragonfly filly: Thank you. My do you change user pics often. They are always interesting.

michael: One is the loneliest number. In the whole cooler.

:P fuzzbox said...

perplexio: Does anyone go to Yo Yo Mah's concerts? Not easy to headbang to in my case.

Waitresses said...

We think that we know him???

The Phoenix said...

The BBQ pit was the final straw. He truly is gone.

But when one redneck leaves, there are three or more clamoring to take his place.

Rocky said...

Maybe he just eloped with his cousin.

Shay said...

and now you can breath a sigh of relief ^_^

:P fuzzbox said...

waitresses: He does make the rounds. Thanks for popping in. Y'all have one hell of place over there.

phoenix: Such is life.

rocky: That sumbitch.

shay: I hope that it is not short lived.

dragonflyfilly said...

yeah, i do change my user pics often...i get bored with myself...also, keeps me in practice, if you know what i mean!...also, i guess i am a bit of a camelion (can't spell, don't feel like checking the dictionary)...but some people change their posts frequently, i like to change my pictures.

Ben Heller said...

Fuzz,
That's the funniest picture I've seen in months.

Keshi said...

LOL good fun for u ha Fuzzy!

Keshi.

Jim said...

he probably heard that My-Name-Is-Earl guy was lookin' for him

:P fuzzbox said...

dragonfly filly: I try to post daily if I have anything to say.

ben: Thanks, It seemed to fit.

keshi: I hope so.

jim: I would luv to be on that list.

dragonflyfilly said...

Fuzz; nothing wrong with posting every day...but i tend to be a bit verbose...so it would take me a long time, and also take people a long time to read...sometimes i have to conserve my energy...hah hah...

now i'm doing make-up for MIKADO, which is being put on by our local Gilbert and Sullivan Society, so i am going to be quite busy for awhile. Dress rehersal went quite smoothly last night, the costumes are absolutely superb...but thank the gods the theatre is air-conditioned...it was a hot one yesterday!

cheers for now,
pj

:P fuzzbox said...

That is too cool. I bet it takes awhile to put on that make up. You should post some pics.

phlegmfatale said...

congratulations on your newly peaceable kingdom!