Monday, May 15, 2006
Yes it is truly over. My mullet man neighbor is gone for good. No more will I hear the whine of the police siren and mullet man's wife's lilting voice screaming, "Take that sumbitch to jail." No more will I hear the sound of love as fine breakable Elvis memorabilia hits the wall.
How do I know that he is gone for good? How do I know that after the countless times that he has come and gone that now is truly the end? The answer is simple really. When he was going to be gone for a couple of days or a week, his beer cooler would be gone from under his carport. When he was going to be gone for a couple of weeks or months, his beer cooler would be gone from underneath his carport and he would take his dawg. But now the end is truly here for his beer cooler is gone from underneath the carport, he took his dawg, and this time he loaded up his barbeque pit and hauled ass.
Without the love of a redneck woman, he has cold beer, his dawg, and his barbeque pit. He has nothing for a redneck to come back for. It is over.