Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Fieldtrip: The Journey Begins
Yes, the day had come; The day, which had been consuming me with a mixture of dread and excitement for the the past 10 days. It was a bright sunshiny day and the weatherman had forecasted clear skies and a temperature of 100 degrees. I was thinking to myself that this should make for an interesting bus ride. When I arrived at the school to my surprise there were no buses so I assumed that they would just be running a bit late.
I went to the cafeteria to meet up with the class as they were passing out breakfast to the urchins. After the breakfasts were handed out, the class lined up in two lines of boys and girls. I took my place in the rear of the boys line. One boy asked how tall I was and when I replied six foot, they oohed and aahhed over my height. Evidently their dads were little people. To my great fortune, I discovered that we would not be riding in any old yellow schoolbus but would be traveling in a fleet of oversized Suburbans ( If you can call two a fleet.) I would be traveling in the air-conditioned lap of luxury.
Another prayer answered was the fact that the teachers looked less like the principal from Uncle Buck than the teacher from the Van Halen, 'Hot for Teacher' video. Although in perfect honesty the teacher that was driving the Suburban is 5 months pregnant but you can't have everything can you? So I loaded my gear in the Suburban and helped load the days supplies and helped get the young 'uns climb aboard.
The kids were mostly quiet as we left out, with the sounds of munching, crunching and slurping of their breakfast. But as the chocolate milk kicked in on the spawn, the first sign of discontent started. The kids were clambering for music but the teacher for some unknown reason did not want to turn on the radio. Yikes, a two hour trip listening to nothing but the sound of urchins and Jr. Underachievers. It might be a long day after all.
Minus the music, the urchins started a game of 'I Spy' but when one of the boys spied with his little eye a fat ugly girl, the teacher put a temporary halt to the game. I was a bit pissed because I knew the answer right away and I had always sucked at this game when I was a kid and now I had thought that years of perfecting my observance skills would finally pay off.
After the long trip, we finally arrived in the town of Quitaque (pronounced Kitty Quay.) The park was only a short distance away. First stop, The Restrooms, so I held the door open for the kids to get out and use the facilities. By the time the last of the little people had got out, the ruckus had already started in the men's room. One of the teachers went to the door of the men's room and told the guys to quiet down. They did but only slightly. I needed to go myself and could not resist using my drill sergeant voice, so I slung the door open and barked, 'Settle Down, Get your business done, and Step lively.' That got the little grunts humping, although the effect would have had a little more impact if I could have resisted laughing when they all turned and looked at my with big wide eyes.
And then it was time to load back up and begin a two mile hike through the rugged canyons of Caprock Canyon State Park. Stay tuned tomorrow for Part Two of The Fieldtrip.