Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Hi Ho The Derry-Oh



While sitting in the doctor's office, I found this article in an old National Geographic. It concerns the East Wind community in Tecumseh, Missouri. From what I take of the article, this is a community of like minded individuals sharing a simple interest in communal living, organic gardening, and nudity.

As a public service to these individuals, I have taken it upon myself to make a list of inappropriate come on lines for the nude gardener looking for love.

1) How about going behind the corn crib and shucking my cob?

2) I hope you like pickles because I have a cucumber with your name written all over it.

3) I guarantee that my chili pepper is the hottest thing that you have ever put in your mouth.

For the gay gardener: 4) You look like a fruit lover. How do you like it, sweet and juicy or tart and tangy?

For the lady gardener: 5) If you like my melons now just wait until you get a taste of my honeydew!

35 comments:

starbender said...

Oh, I like this post!
Hahahaaaa!
Only #3 is screaming 'TINY'.
But the first one---
CLASSIC!
;]

Big D said...

Excuse me I need a Hoe.

whoami929 said...

Number 5 is my favorite!

starbender said...

Should of title'd it,
Hi Hoe The Derry-Oh

Does the garden grow better if you garden in the 'nude'?
(I'd be willing to bet the neighbors would think so)

:o

Green Eyes said...

Well, at least they're not getting grass stains on their clothes and don't have tan lines to contend with!

#3 is too funny!

Jamie said...

Yikes, dangly bits and garden tools... Sounds like a crowd that lives dangerously?

At least they have a hobby, I guess, ha ha.

:P fuzzbox said...

starbender: Thanks. And that is a good suggestion.

big d: Good one.

whoami: Thanks, I origenally had it as a man saying but I reworded it and thought it sounded a little better.

green eyes: Glad you liked it.

:P fuzzbox said...

jamie: And a person better be darned careful when squatting down and pulling a weed in the cucumber patch.

Mimi said...

Geez, while they are squatting to pick the green beans, do they go ahead a fertilize while they are in the position.

Catch said...

how bout if ya like my plump juicy tomatoes your gonna love my strawberry patch????? LoL

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: It's a twofer.

catch: But ya better put on the sunscreen before those tomatoes get ripe and red :)

ozymandiaz said...

I knoew there was a reason I didn't like communal living. That dudes ass put me off my dinner.

:P fuzzbox said...

ozy: That was a chick. Now, how's that breakfast hanging in there.

angel, jr. said...

A nudist colony? I thought they became extinct in the early nineties.

siren said...

The first one is my fave, too. That is so funny! :)

Curare_Z said...

I was thinking, "Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me" when I realized they didn't have any pockets because they're nude!

And I agree with oxy...Ugh. She should be doing less gardening and more butt lifts.

And your pic is perfect for this post!

Perplexio said...

I remember once reading about a guy who wanted to start a nudist colony outside of Watertown, NY. For anyone who has ever been through/to Watertown would know, living their au naturale would only be comfortable for about 8 out of 52 weeks per year. The rest of the year it would very between "moderately uncomfortable" and "downright masochistically lethal." And at the latter end of that spectrum the gents would run the risk of having their testicles turning into testcicles.

ozymandiaz said...

Aaaaaahhhhh!
It IS a chick.
Lunch, breakfast, dinner from last night.
Ya know, here in Florida we have had our share of nudist colonies. There was one just a couple of miles out of town. Now, I'm a free spirit type of dude. I'm always running nude around the house and yard (don't worry, we have a privecy fence and I don't usually do it during the day...ususally), but I went to one of those colonies one time. i still have nightmares. Everyone there was like old or fat (and I don't mean kinda, I'm talking "how does that fucker's heart beat" kind of fat) or deformed or some combonation of these. Before hand I was all worried about walking about with a boner and how embarassing that would be. There was no worries of that.

Bruce said...

We have one here in Virginia, down in the SE part of the state. The only reason I know it's there is that Don and Mike did a show from there years ago, and taped it, then sold copies of the tape under the name "Sex, Pies, and Videotape".
Anyway, ozy's right about the people there. Not exactly GQ or Cosmo material.

:P fuzzbox said...

angel: I think that nudism is more of a sideline for these folks. They described in the article 'commie cloz'. The clothing of the entire group is owned collectively. When you need clothes you just check them out and when you need them laundered you just turn them in to the laundry. Members take turns on laundry duty.

I have two minds about this. On one hand with my luck when I went to pick up some new drawers all that would be left would be some skinny chicks thongs. I don't think that I could handle that. But on the other hand, when a visitor came and asked if I got much action in the commune, then I could point to any group of ladies in the commune and say, "See those gals. I have been in all of their britches.

:P fuzzbox said...

siren: That is the first one to pop into my head. That is generally the best one. Anything that I have to think about, I can find a way to screw it up.

curare: I have been keeping that pic under wraps just dieing for a story to come along to fit it. Glad you liked.

perplexio: In nude gardening frost warnings should be well heeded.

ozy: I have noticed that in most nudist colonies that there is a direct inverse corrolary between the amount of nudity that you see and the amount of nudity that you do see.

bruce: That is soo true.

phlegmfatale said...

Now I have to invoke the Spinal Tap classic "Sex Farm Woman." (look up the lyrics, you'll thank me) Reading this post I kept thinking about the line about poking her hay. what IS that? *LOL*

dragonflyfilly said...

ahhhhhh shucks!, NOW i know why i never got the hang of communal living, lol

...never mind...

o.k. i'll bite...what does *bluggin'* mean?

:P fuzzbox said...

phlegmmy: I wonder if all bloggers are Spinal Tap fans. I am famaliar with the lyrics. I didn't think of it at the time I posted. Kudo's for being the first to mention it.

dragonfly filly: The blogroll puts bluggin' after the blog that has fresh posts up. It's a handy little feature but only works on those blogs on blogspot. It would be much easier if it worked for typepad, wordpress, and other domains but it is handy. You can make it say anything but bluggin' is my own term for blogging coming from Blugstuff.

Keshi said...

ROFLLLLZ!

**For the lady gardener: 5) If you like my melons now just wait until you get a taste of my honeydew!

my fav hahaha!

Keshi.

The Phoenix said...

Puts a whole new spin on the old saying, "you reap what you sow."

I've never been to that colony, but I have driven by it during my travels throughout Missouri.

I will have to stop by and get a postcard and send it to you.

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: I just love the word honeydew. :)

phoenix: Hellz yeh.

Jim said...

nuts showing nuts selling nuts, a pretty nutty story

:P fuzzbox said...

jim: One could say 'Chock full o nuts.'

Jim said...

hey, what you fill with your nuts is none of my business

Laurie said...

Those are all funny - and I totally cracked up at Oz's description of his visit to the nudist camp - EW! (I couldn't look at your link, 'cause as usual, I'm at work)

:P fuzzbox said...

jim: ?

laurie: Trust the descriptions, ew is right.

David Amulet said...

Nice reference to "Sex Farm" in the comments! Yes, "poking at your hay" is one of the best/worst innuendo lines in rock, depending on your perspective.

But I also have to put a plug in for Kiss's line "let me stick a log in your fireplace" and Spinal Tap's other gem, "My baby fits me like a flesh tuexdo/I like to sink her with my pink torpedo."

Neither of which I want to hear at a nudist colony.

-- david

the weirdgirl said...

Have you ever met a nudist? Trust me, you don't want to hear them saying any of these (hilarious) phrases.

Perplexio said...

Yeah, there seems to be Murphy's Law for nudism-- The only people who choose to be nudists are the very last people in the world you would ever actually want to see naked.