Sunday, July 30, 2006

Ubergeek Reality TV


Being a semi-comics geek, I could not miss the first episode of 'Who Wants To Be A Superhero?'. The reality show run by Ubergeek hero Stan Lee. The show is trying to find the contestant who best exemplifies the heart of a superhero. The winner becomes the new superhero in their own titled Dark Horse comic. It was just as cheesy as I could have hoped for and even more.



It is hard to root against Lumera, the gold clad warrior, as her boobs threaten to burst from her suit as she runs like the wind in defense of justice. My favorite though is would-be superhero Major Victory. In red spandex and sporting a plastic do worthy of William Shatner, he combines just the right amount of cheesiness, self-effacing humor, and heart to make a great comic book hero. That and I love his catch phrase, " Be a winner, not a weiner."

For the Official site which also includes a game to build your own superhero. (For your kid. yeh right.) Click here.

The show got me to wondering what I would be if I could be my own superhero and could choose my superpower.

So here are a few of my chosen superhero powers:

  • I would have to have the power to fly that would be a given.
  • I would have the power to make the models from porno mags pop out of the pages to help distract bad guys and allow me to kick their supervillian ass without wrinkling my superhero suit and to help celebrate victories.
  • I would choose the power of telepathic breast augmentation. This could really take the starch out of the Mid-East Terrorists. With all their phobias about the decadent Western culture, they would be in mortal fear of being renamed Osama bin Booblicious.

Now I just have to think of a cool superhero name.

************

On a related note, Stephen Lynch performs my favorite superhero tune, 'Awesome Man.' Click here for the video.

Friday, July 28, 2006

New Regime


Welcome to the new regime! That’s right the Rainbows Are Neat Jihad Movement has infiltrated this blog written by the infidel known as the Fuzzbox. No more FOADT “Fuck of and Die Thursday” now it will be ACFW or “Ass Camel Fuck Wednesday”. Where I will tell you who, Allah permitting my camel will fuck in the ass. There will be no anti-house wife mafia because that is where our women should be, with a heavy blanket draped on them cooking pie. HA HA, I love pie! Also, NO more pinups. This is disgusting you filthy infidels! No, I will eliminate this smut. Instead you will get high class pictures of beautiful mature women in burkas riding Allah's most precious gift, camels! You will see just how sexy, a tasteful camel picture can be. This is not a sick world and you are not a happy man! This is a happy world and you are a sick man.

In closing “Elif air ab tizak!”




Note: Not Really But I did do your updates! :P

-Big D

A Great Day To Be A Real Man


I was watching the news this morning and jumped up and nearly burned my crotch with hot coffee over the great news. The age of the metrosexual man has been ruled over. The age of the retrosexual man has now begun.

Yes it is no longer the height of fashion to be a sissy boy Ryan Seacrest wannabe. Being a real man is the new cool. Although it was explained that a retrosexual should take some of the metrosexual experience with them. And that is just fine with me. I don't mind clipping my toenails occasionally.

Some examples that they gave of a retrosexual were Jack Black, Johnny Depp, and George Clooney. But the man that they said exemplified a retrosexual was Sean Connery as he is a man that can kick ass even in a tux. James Bond is back to being the man that all the men aspire to be and all women aspire to be with.

Bald is back. Beer is back. Hairy chests are back. I knew that if I held onto my principles the world would soon come back around. Ya Gotta Luv It!!!

******
Voting will end Friday night at 11:59 a.m. CDT on the Shit Talk Competition.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

FOADT: The Winner's Circle

The judges are hopelessly deadlocked on the shit talking contest with three different choices. So the tie-breaker is up to you, here are your three finalists. And thanks to all who entered by leaving a comment or by e-mail. Remember there are no losers here. Well maybe me but that doesn't count.
*****
Old Fart's Wife

Ice Cream:All I want to know is what the hell happened to Mr. Softy?? This custard crap is NOT ice cream. The freezer burn shit on a stick that the din-a-ling guy brings around sucks.Why do all those guys look like child molesters! FOAD to the ding-a-ling guy!!

Baby kitties: What is it with humans who treat their animals like children? People dress their baby kitties in cutesy clothes and then want me to kiss or pet the little fuckers. FOAD!!!! Fuck off and get the cat outta my face. If I want to kiss a pussy it will be a two legged one who can verbally thank me later.

Masturbation: What chaps my ass about masturbation is that some parents do not explain to their children that it is ok, and the kid goes through puberty or eternity-(ha-ha) feeling guilty about it. I think it is a parents duty to explain this to the kids (boys and girls and give a few pointers on getting the best they can out of it. Given the proper tools(similar to giving them a bicycle), I bet we would see more smiles, and less teen girls having babies. Maybe more girls would learn early on, that it is NOT better to give than to receive.FOAD to all the phuckers that say they would never do it, but lie about it!

*****
Crazy Dan

Listen hear Fuzz you needle dick kitten raping cum guzzling queen if you don't start coming up with some original posts I am going to have you lick icecream out of my ass and punch you in the face while listening to Elvis's greatest hits CD.

*****
Mike

Ice Cream - You know what's shitty about Ice Cream? When it give you the runs........if you're lactose intolerant that is. I didn't used to be, and I LOVE ice cream!! Especially chocolate with multi colored sprinkles. It make it kinda look like diarrea with little pieces of corn, carrots and other stuff that never did get digested in your stomach. I still eat it, but it make the who house stink when I let one rip. Thanks Mr Softy!!

Baby Kitties - They're so cute once they get to be about 4 weeks old. Until then, they just look like a little piece of thawed turd that has been hanging out of a bear's ass all winter. The fur is all wet and stuck to their bodies, and their eyes are like pieces of left over berrys.

Masterbation - The only time that masterbation is shitty is when you are constipated. You know you can't jerk off because you're all uncomfortable from the back up of nasty processed food pushing on your ball sack from inside your body. You're still all horney, so you force it and then right after you cum, you feel like someone just kicked you in the nuts.

*****
Now a specal FOAD to Blogger. I have been unable to load a pic for this post all week and yesterday and this morning I have been unable to access any blog on blogspot until just now. So who knows if this will even publish.

For more FOAD posts click here and if you do a FOADT post remember to link back to that link and get yourself listed.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Text Dumbass To 12345


In some ways today's high tech society has left me in the dust. I was watching some late night television and a commercial came on for a text line service. The girls in the ad were very attractive and provocatively dressed and I am sure there are those suckers taken in by the ad and texted this service.

Why is this needed? What is wrong with good old fashioned phone sex. Sure the woman on the other end of the line is probably some two ton trailer trash diva smelling of stale Marlboro's and rotten tuna but I can see how listening to a seductive voice speaking of unspeakable acts could put the listeners better judgment to rest.

I cannot quite comprehend just how active an imagination that it would take in order to force oneself into believing that you are actually texting these models in the ad. All I can picture is the fact that on the other end of the line is probably some chubby old reprobate texting 'take me now big daddy' as he is flicking Cheeto's crumbs off of his sagging man boobs. And that is one visual that is as sexually stimulating as a festered up herpes blister.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Something Sweet


Snickers, Milky Way, M&M's, Mars
Payday, Reese's, Hershey Bars
My Sweet Tooth begs for something to munch
Caramello, Cherry Mash, Valomilk, or Nestle's Crunch.

The sugar bowl stares cold and mean
My Sweet Tooth screams to lick it clean.
Or a Chocolate Chip Cookie would sure hit the spot
But a crusty granola bar is as close as I got.

A steamy cherry pie with ice cream on top
Sweet tooth, Oh Sweet Tooth Why won't you stop.
Can't you see I am back on a diet and the point is quite moot.
Just be thankful for freaking fruit.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Hello Me Meet The Real Me


A while back Big D and Crazy Dan during their big intervention blitz referred to my three blogs. I thought that I would go ahead and introduce one of them today.

I have it listed on my blogroll as Fuzz Texas. The title of the blog is Out And About In West Texas. It is basically a photo blog with a few pictures and commentary regarding my hometown and the surrounding area. I had done a few posts along that vein here but it didn't seem to fit the overall theme of this blog.

Just as Big D created this template which is far too good for the things that I post on it, Pixie created a template for me over at OAA that is great. She was able to capture the feel of what I wanted this blog to be.

It has been on my blogroll for awhile now and a few people have found their way over there. If you are interested, I would love to hear from you over there.

( I posted this as an audio post yesterday but since blogger hasn't seen fit to load it yet, I decided to bang this one out. If the audio does finally load, I will delete either this post or that one.)

Friday, July 21, 2006

Bluggin' II: Electric Blugaloo

First off let me thank everyone for putting up with my self-indulgent crap this week. Next off let me explain a few things about why I think this blog shit is so freakin' cool. (And these are in no order whatsoever.

1. I can say damn near anything that pops into my head. I can rant, rave, bitch, and raise all kinds of hell and not worry about anyone punching me in the teeth.
2. All the sexy bloggers out there writing erotic stories that put lead in the pencil. And pics that could sizzle a steak.
3. Crazy assed quizzes that make me wonder how they come up with all that shit just from liking the color blue.
4. Laughing my ass off, thanks to some bloggers that have missed their calling of being comedians.
5. Giving shit to all the assholes in the blogosphere.
6. Getting a first hand perspective on a lot of the news going on in the world.
7. Getting the opinions of bloggers on everything from the best way to cook a grilled cheese sandwich to the problems in the Middle East.
8. Being able to foist my twisted thoughts upon the 'net in a way that I could never imagine.
9. It forces me to gather my thoughts in a semi-coherent way in order to write a post.
10. Sharing thoughts with a lot of really great people.

Mostly though it proves to me that it is a sick world and I am a happy man. It's been a great first year. Have a Great Weekend Everyone.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

FOAD Thursday: My Blog Rants In Review


It has been quite a year and even before I came across the concept of Fuck Off And Die Thursdays. I loved the outlet of a blog to rant my frustrations. So with this being my blirthday week, I thought that I would revisit some of my past rants.

1. Pro-ana websites: Type in these words in any search and you come across some of the most horrific websites imaginable. These sites give anything from tips on how to remain anorexic, to what they call thinspiration which are usually pics of obese women or half-starved models and celebs such as Kate Moss or Nicole Ritchie. So for doing what is actually assisted suicide fuck off and die but on second thought just eat something damnit and cut that website crap out. I don't want to see you die. I just want you to learn how to live.

Four months into this blog, I posted a rather different post for me here. It concerned an old and dear friend who died from complications arising from this dreadful disease. I want to thank again all of those that commented on this post and helped me through that time.

2. Whiney-Assed Pro Athletes: The current age of fighting for the biggest contracts has taken a lot out of pro sports. Gone are the days where most athletes play hard for their team now they play for a photo op so that they can get a highlight on ESPN Sportscenter. Nothing screamed this more than the Peyton Manning story after their loss in the AFC Playoffs last year. Click here for my take on it then and my position has not changed. It is a team sport assholes. If you want to go for individual glory take up an individual sport such as golf or tennis or fuckin' tiddly winks otherwise shut the fuck up and take it like you own a damned set.

3. Political Correctness: This blog is my space. It is for me and for those friends that I have made here in the blogosphere and those that come and read quietly in the shadows. I will always do my best to be gracious to any guest that comes to this site but I will not change what I say or the pictures I post to avoid offending anyone. If the guest does not like it then the exit is only a short click away. They will not be the first to have done so and I can guarandamntee that they won't be the last. As I stated in this story, I learned long ago that no matter what you say or how nice you try to be there will always be someone offended by the truth. And if that isn't good enough then by all means send me a shitty little e-mail and I can tell the offended person to Fuck Off And Die right here.

Next weeks FOAD post will feature the winner of the Talk Shit contest. If you haven't entered, then what are you waiting for? It isn't often that you can brag that you won Jack Shit although guest posting on this blog is a little bit of a booby prize.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I Got Shit In The Mail


Many thanks to Mel over at M80 for sending me these three action figures from The Turd Collection. They are from left to right Tough Shit, Shatman, and Jack Shit. They also came with a funny logbook describing each character.

I loved the game site that I reviewed here. And the action figures found on their on-line store as you can see are the shit.

One problem has arisen though. I want to proudly display my shit on the entertainment center in the living room. Angry Joyce just wants to purge my shit to where she doesn't have to see shit.

Therefore we came up with a compromise. I gave Big D, Shatman to add to his Superhero collection. I am keeping Tough Shit to keep by my computer and now I am giving everyone a chance to win Jack Shit as a prize in Blugstuff's first ever contest, 'Talk Shit.'

The rules of 'Talk Shit' are simple. I will give you three subjects and it will be your task to talk shit about them. You must come up with at least two lines on each subject. You may leave your entry in the comment section on this post or e-mail it to me at my e-mail address located on my sidebar. The winning entry will also be featured on next weeks FOAD Thursday, where the winner will be announced. The entry deadline is Saturday, July 22 at 11:59 p.m. CDT. The judges will be Big D, Angry Joyce, and myself.

Here are your three subjects:
1. Ice Cream
2. Baby Kitties
3. Masturbation

Didn't think that I would make it easy, did you? Remember that this is for FOAD so there will be no deductions whatsoever for crudeness, vulgarity, or just plain bad taste and you may send in multiple entries. Good luck and let the shit talking begin!!!

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Tasteless Poetry Tuesday: Looking Back At Limericks


I decided that for as long as I can keep it up I will stretch a bit and do a theme day on Tuesdays of Tasteless Poetry to go with my theme of FOAD on Thursdays.

My first attempt at poetry on this blog was due to a comment by Danielle, who stated that she could see a little bit of artsy fartsy in some of my writing. I had never ever been labeled with the artsy fartsy label but it made me laugh so I posted Artsy Fartsy back in September of 2005, which was about limericks. I had forgotten the meter of limericks though so my original limerick in the post was off but I finally got it right in the comment section.

So in honor of that first artsy fartsy post, here is an ode to the heat; limerick style.

In the west there lives a crack-whore
Who could take the heat no more.
She packed ice in her crack
Both the front and the back.
But now her customers complain of ice sores.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Blugstuff One - Good Taste Zero


Blirthday, Blogaversary: It is called by many strange names but one fact remains. Exactly one year ago, I entered the blogosphere with Blugstuff. And since then I have been dedicated to showing just how it is a sick world and why I am a happy man.

Early on I set forth an agenda for this blog. To post rants, to post pin-ups, to post odd thoughts, but mostly to just have fun goofing off. That is exactly what I have done.

Something odd started happening though. People started reading this crap. And then something even stranger happened, people started commenting and the comment section on Blugstuff is amazing to me. It is probably due to the fact that it is the one thing that I can't screw up because it is you that writes the comments.

One of the most amazing comment sections to me was my vacation post. Where for a week, you readers were put in charge of the blog. You can even rock a comment section over a goofy grocery list. A couple of comments that I received really put into focus for me how my posts are received. I posted a story about attending "A Caprock Celtic Christmas." Months later the dancer that I spoke of and her husband commented anonymously. And they were actually happy with my story and seem to be great people with a great sense of humor.

So from the bottom of my twisted little soul to all of you sick people, Thanks so much for making this a great year of blogging. Words cannot begin to express my appreciation. You Rock!!!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

A Birthday Tag


A while back, I was tagged by Ol' Lady. I figured I might as well do it now as next week I have some blirthday stuff planned.

The rule of the tag is to go to Wikipedia , type in your birthdate and list three events, two important births, one interesting death, and one holiday or observance.

Sometimes these tags can be quite educational and this was no different. I discovered that:

Events

On August 14, 1908, The First Beauty Contest was held in England. I always thought the first beauty contest started the Trojan War.

On August 14, 1040, Duncan I was killed by his cousin and successor, MacBeth, giving Shakespearian actors something to talk about.

On August 14, 1945, Japan accepted the Allied Terms of Surrender, allowing them to pursue global domination by cornering the market on game consoles.

Births

On August 14, 1943, Jimmy Johnson was born to pursue the secret of William Shatner's plastic hair.

On August 14, 1945, Steve Martin was born and uttered the phrase, 'Well, Excuuuuse Meee!!!'

On August 14, 1961, Susan Olsen was born with hair of gold just like her mother in curls.

Death

On August 14, 1980 Dorothy Stratten was murdered robbing the world of a great beauty.

Observance

August 14 is the feast day of Saint Maximilian Kolbe. He was sainted by Pope John Paul II and is known for saving thousands of Jews from the Nazis. He also was executed in Auschwitz, when he took the place of a condemned stranger who had begged for his life for the sake of his family. There are those who claim that his writing was Anti-Semitic but actions speak louder than words in my opinion. If there are truly any saints then by his actions he should certainly be added to their list.

I never tag anyone but I will say that if you want to go and check out what happened on your birthday in Wikipedia, it is interesting.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Porn To Be Wild


A few days ago, I had a post about a fictitious porn title. Since truth is stranger than fiction, I researched porn titles and came up with a list of twenty-five titles that were memorable to me for one reason or another.

1. Dude, Where's My Dildo?
2. Booty And The Beast
3. Forrest Hump
4. Pocahotass
5. Cum and Cummer
6. How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
7. I Know Who You Did Last Summer
8. When Hairy Fucked Sally
9. Jurassic Pork
10. Star Whores
11. Field Of Wet Dreams
12. ET: The Extra Testicle
13. Whores Whisperer
14. The Hairy Bitch Project
15. Dildo Baggins: Lord Of The Wangs
16. Caddy Snatch
17. The Brady Munch
18. XXX-Men
19. The Flintbones
20. Yank My Doodle. It's A Dandy
21. Willie Wanker Up The Chocolate Factory
22. Hairy Pooter and The Sorcerers Bone
23. Saturday Night Beaver
24. Raiders Of The Lost Ass
25. Jerk Your Cum Crayon And Color Me White

********
Top Ten Readers Picks From On-Line Comments and E-Mails

10. Field Of Wet Dreams
9. Saturday Night Beaver
8. Jerk Your Cum Crayon And Color Me White
7. ET: The Extra Testicle
6. Pocahotass
5. Dildo Baggins: Lord Of The Wangs
4. How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
3. Willie Wanker Up The Chocolate Factory
2. Dude, Where's My Dildo?
1. Yank My Doodle, It's A Dandy

My thanks to all that voted!!!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

FOAD Thursday: Random Fucktards


There were just to many varied fucktards this week for me to stick to one specific area. So here are this weeks people worthy of telling to fuck off and die.

1. The sign says, 'Speed Bump Ahead.' That is just bullshit. There is no damned speed bump on this road. It is filled with fucking potholes. So rather than shelling out the money to fix the damn potholes they just stuck up a 'speed bump' sign. What a bunch of dickweeds, FOAD!

2. The dumbasses who design certain brands of toilet paper that are impossible to tear off the first sheets without digging into the underlying layers. The can is not the place where a person needs to have some kind of training in advanced engineering and a great deal of manual dexterity in intricate details. A person just needs to wipe their ass and wipe it now. FOAD!!!

3. And the dumb bitch award goes to Zayra on the show 'Rock Star Supernova.' After a horrible performance, Gilby Clarke, the guitarist for the new supergroup and former guitarist for 'L.A. Guns', gave her a little constructive criticism and asked if she had listened to any of the different group members music, she said that she was in diapers when their music was out. If you want to be a damned rockstar and have never heard LA Guns, Metallica, or Motley Crue then you must be the dumbest bitch on the face of the freaking planet. And if you talk to all your potential employers or bandmates that way then I wish you good luck as an ignorant homeless fucktard. How you possibly avoided getting the damn boot this week is beyond me but as far as I am concerned Fuck Off And Die.

In light of the terrorist attacks in India this week, I must give a special Fuck Off And Die to all terrorists. Do something radical and quit taking innocent lives. Make a bold statement by going into the middle of an empty field, stick a pipe bomb up your ass, and fuck off and die.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Take Me Out To The Ballgame


American Sports have taken a bad rap lately. Sure athletes have their problems and many of them have as big of a rap sheet as a stat sheet. Many wonder why can't they be like the athletes of yesterday such as The All-American Boy, Mickey Mantle.

Well a new story has come out that sheds a little more light on that. I came across an article in Snopes.com. Snopes still list the case as undetermined and have neither proved nor disproved the legitimacy of the story but it still made me laugh my ass off. Click here to view a pdf of the letter sent to The All American Boy and his response. (Make sure and scroll all the way down on the link.)

After reading this letter, I kick myself for not paying more attention in Little League.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Flippin' Channels


Tired and weary at the end of the day
I kick my feet up, grab my remote and I'm away.
I flip and flip and flip some more
Cocksucker chickenshit freakin' whore.
They're cookin up Spam on Food Network
I wish they would stick their face in the fire to watch them jerk.
Game Show Network Hell
I can't take a minute of Wink Martindale.
Lifetime Movies, reruns of Friends
Hand Me a plastic bag to stick my head in.
Andy, Opie, Aunt Bea, Barney Fife
One more watched episode and I'll take a life.
Who loves Raymond? I don't care.
The History Channel on underwear.
Selling crap on QVC
The Health Network shows why it hurts when some douchebag has to pee.
Satellite Dish pointed up to the sky,
Tell me, Tell me Why oh why.
500 channels and nothing to watch.
I think I will flip in a porn DVD and play with my crotch.

(Green Eyes requested some poetry. I bet you are wishing now for unanswered prayers. Sorry to all those real poets like Ozy for my drivel.)

Monday, July 10, 2006

More Bang For The Advertising Buck


Recently a design student in Amsterdam, tired of ads being placed everywhere, set up a satirical website. The site advertises for companies to place ads in such places as on zoo animals, floating billboards, and on the chest and thighs of prostitutes.

He might be on to something but the product placement on the chest and thighs of hookers would have to be well thought out.


Some Ads That Might Work:
Viagra and other impotence drugs
Condom's
Poker.net
My Space.com


Some Ads That Might Not Work:
Wisconsin Cheese Board
Wendy's 'Where's The Beef' Ads.
Valtrex Herpes Suppression Medication

I am undecided on feminine hygiene ads. I just wonder if they could be done tastefully.

Click here for the complete news story.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Off To The Movies


I am off to the movies to watch Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest with the family.

I am pretty sure with the way the Porn Industry tweaks titles that they have already come up with a Butt Pirate of the Caribbean movie. If they are looking for a sequel title, I will just throw this one out there for them.

Coming Soon To DVD.
Butt Pirates Of The Caribbean:
Tight Quarters In The Poop Deck.

Have A Great Weekend Everyone!!!

Friday, July 07, 2006

Not Your Average Shitty Games


I recently received an e-mail from an interactive web marketing site asking me if I would review a site. I was amazed that it wasn't just your average spambot crap that pops up from time to time. It seems they actually had read my stuff and knew what I was about.

The site I was asked to review was a game site and not just any game site. This site is the shit, literally. The heroes of the game are turds. The games are contemporary takes on old arcade games with the turdy little twist. Everything from Donkey Pong, to Poo-Bert, to Bogger and more games to come.

But I am left with a little bit of a quandry. Did they want me to review this site because I have a shitty little blog or has my shitty little blog become THE SHIT!

Click here to play a good and shitty game. But remember to wash your hands afterwords.

( I might add that I am a complete merchandise whore. I hope they send me the Turd Action Figure wearing a sombrero. I could rig him up to say 'Yo Quero Caca.' That would be too cool. Like a cold splash to the hiney.)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

FOAD Thursday: Movie Edition

I do not get to go to the theatre as much as I would like but I love the movies. So today I thought I would turn my roving eye to the world of movies.

1. What the flying Fuck are those idiots doing to Superman? From the story line that I read, Superman has hauled ass to go find himself like some '70's hippie and came back and the world has moved on. Lois Lane got married and pushed a puppy during his absence. Now Supes is back and trying to win her heart once more. What a load of horseshit. He is Superman not some fuckknob trying to horn in on someone else's old lady. So to the writers and producers of the new Superman movie, Fuck Off And Die for trying to make Superman some ordinary buttmunch scumbag adulterer.

2. Here's a big Eat Shit Fuck Off And Die to the movie industry for putting out all the good movies in a three month span in the summer and a two month span around Thanksgiving and Christmas and shoving shit at the audiences the rest of the damn year.

3. To all the rude inconsiderate assbags who feel that the world is their own private living room and carry on conversations, talk on cell phones, and generally make a nuisance of themselves; Fuck Off And Die. And the next fucktard who bangs on the back of my chair will have one hell of a time removing the bloody stump of their leg from their ass. Consider yourself warned you waste of cum asslicks who are in search of the almighty comfortable position regardless of who you piss off.


Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy Independence Day


Here's hoping your Fourth comes off with a bang. Happy Independence Day To Everyone!!!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Ummm Yogurt



I was fresh out of reading material at the fireworks stand so I was thumbing through an article on home health remedies in one of Angry Joyce's women's magazines.

They stated that scientists have discovered that yogurt promotes the formation of a natural compound in women's bodies that kill the bacteria that causes vaginal odor. They gave a simple home remedy of dipping a tampon in plain yogurt to use in applying the yogurt.

Why not add a little fun to this home remedy. Someone needs to come up with a dildo that would have some sort of spongy exterior that could be dipped in yogurt. I have a name for it: Yo-Play.