Thursday, July 13, 2006

FOAD Thursday: Random Fucktards


There were just to many varied fucktards this week for me to stick to one specific area. So here are this weeks people worthy of telling to fuck off and die.

1. The sign says, 'Speed Bump Ahead.' That is just bullshit. There is no damned speed bump on this road. It is filled with fucking potholes. So rather than shelling out the money to fix the damn potholes they just stuck up a 'speed bump' sign. What a bunch of dickweeds, FOAD!

2. The dumbasses who design certain brands of toilet paper that are impossible to tear off the first sheets without digging into the underlying layers. The can is not the place where a person needs to have some kind of training in advanced engineering and a great deal of manual dexterity in intricate details. A person just needs to wipe their ass and wipe it now. FOAD!!!

3. And the dumb bitch award goes to Zayra on the show 'Rock Star Supernova.' After a horrible performance, Gilby Clarke, the guitarist for the new supergroup and former guitarist for 'L.A. Guns', gave her a little constructive criticism and asked if she had listened to any of the different group members music, she said that she was in diapers when their music was out. If you want to be a damned rockstar and have never heard LA Guns, Metallica, or Motley Crue then you must be the dumbest bitch on the face of the freaking planet. And if you talk to all your potential employers or bandmates that way then I wish you good luck as an ignorant homeless fucktard. How you possibly avoided getting the damn boot this week is beyond me but as far as I am concerned Fuck Off And Die.

In light of the terrorist attacks in India this week, I must give a special Fuck Off And Die to all terrorists. Do something radical and quit taking innocent lives. Make a bold statement by going into the middle of an empty field, stick a pipe bomb up your ass, and fuck off and die.

34 comments:

Pixie said...

Amen to that last sentiment.

Ben Heller said...

Fuzz - She didn't know the most important and influential Rock acts of the 80's ? And she's on a Rock reality show ? You are kidding me Fuzz ?

That's like Jessica Simpson coming over to England on a "I Want Everybody To Love Me" jaunt, stepping into London with a hip "Sex Pistols" T shirt adorning her body and when questioned by a a swooning media answering which Pistols song she liked the most by saying "I have know idea what you're talking about, are they a band ?"

Oh I just realised, that DID happen.

Now that's the way to endear yourself to the British public.

Leigh said...

LMAO... I love hanging out at your place on Thursday. #2 is my favorite. Hope you have a good day today.

michaelm said...

As always Fuzz, eloquent and true.
I am with you on #3...
Hopefully 50 more skuzballs are standing in close proximity playing with their terrorist jihads.
The more, the merrier.
A balls to the wall post, dude.

~m

ps. I'd like to send a very special FOAD to the folks at Bloggyawards...

angel, jr. said...

Good post Fuzz!!!

Crazy Dan said...

I agree Fuzz how could she not have any of those albums if she loves rock. I was sad to see Chris go she he has sucked for the last two weeks but that last persformance was his best yet. I think he found who he was at the end and hopefully he can still make a living doing what he loves.

Sugardaddy said...

and a special place in hell goes to the asshole who invented blister packing on products. takes small bits of explosive to get into anything these days. i am too old to be patient!

Mike said...

This list is great! I'm with you!

Catch said...

I not only agree with you ..I also agree with sugardaddy! I cuss everytime I try to get something out of the wrapper. I love it here on Thursdays!!!! You give em hell buddy...Im right behind you!

Sherri said...

The companies that make the chinsy tp can FOAD as well. There's just nothing more horrible then your fingers ripping through in mid wipe. ACK!

Curare_Z said...

Toilet paper and terrorists....tops on my FOAD list. :-)

:P fuzzbox said...

pixie: They suck.

ben: Jessica isn't known as being the brightest bulb in the lamp. She should just walk around in halter tops and short shorts and shut the fuck up.

leigh: Have a great day and hopefully all the paper comes out easy.

michael: That would be nice for one big jihad gang bang.

:P fuzzbox said...

angel, jr: Thanks!

cd: His last performance was good. I suppose being in the bottom three two weeks running was his death nail. I don't think he had what it took to go the distance over some of the others but he was tons better than that no talent douchebag.

I am a big fan of Dilane. Her version of Ring of Fire was scary good.

sugar daddy: Damn, I hate those too. And whats with all the damn tape on cd packaging. It is like breaking into Fort Knox just to listen to some damn music.

mike: Thanks, I appreciate that.

catch: I don't see any lack of idiots out there to stop doing this on Thursdays.

sherri: That is one reason that I only will use public facilities for wiping purposes. They are always filled with John Wayne tp. Rough and tough and don't take shit off of anyone.

curare: I am nothing if not varied this post. I like to share the love.

Mimi said...

The last FOAD is the best!

I love #2. So glad it does not just happen here.

Green Eyes said...

You tell them Fuzz! I hate bitchy chicks like Zayra.

I hope those terrorists take your bit of advice, Fuzz.

The Phoenix said...

Whoa, your venom is quite encompassing this week. I wish the people who make toilet paper for hotels would FOAD. It's sandpaper on my buttocks.

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: I think it is a universal problem.

green eyes: They would definantly be doing the world a favor.

phoenix: There isn't many things worse than shitty toilet paper.

Sorry couldn't resist that line.

LisaBinDaCity said...

It's just a crying shame how you keep all this inside. Let it out dear ;-)

Ranea said...

Tell us how you really feel Fuzz! Great post, I am with you on all counts!

Bruce said...

Amen on the last one. They can all FOAD...

Number 3 is like going in to interview for a job on Wall Street and telling your prospective employers that you just stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

:P fuzzbox said...

lisa: I'll try. ;)

ranea: Thanks bunches!

bruce: Amen and they can FOAD alone.

Laurie said...

I've never seen that show, but whoever that contestant is, she is a total dumbass!

I agree with you on the terrorists... I just hope that their 72 virgins all look like Rosie O'Donnell.

starbender said...

Okay-I'm with ya----
especially the last!
All These 'HOMICIDE BOMBERS'
should wake up and notice that
all their top people are
NOT WILLING 2 give up their lives!!!
Why is that???
One would think if he could really have 72 virgins--
the top guys would go first!!!!!
:o

oldfartswife said...

FOAD to all them sumbitches, good choices fuzz.
Made me think of the joke about how a Kentuckian wipes his azz, he pushs his pointer finger through the toilet paper, wipes with his finger, and then uses the paper the clean his finger....sick...
two words fuzz "2 PLY"
baby wipes and kleenex are a staple in our bathroom.

Jamie Dawn said...

It would be so great if all terrorists planned a mass suicide all across the world. They could all jump off really high buildings at the same time and go on to heaven and claim their virgins and stuff. Our world would sure be a better place!!

Keshi said...

**The dumbasses who design certain brands of toilet paper that are impossible to tear off the first sheets without digging into the underlying layers.

I sooo know wut u mean here mate!

Keshi.

:P fuzzbox said...

laurie, starbender, jamie dawn: And what's with the 72 virgins anyway. I would much rather be greeted by women who knew what they were doing or barring that maybe six hot strippers and a never emptying wallet.

old farts wife: It reminds me of an old folklore rule. Wipe with the left and shake with the right.

keshi: I suppose it's bad and worldwide.

starbender said...

Fuzz-
U have a MAJOR point there!!!
Who wants inexperience???
not me---
I WANT A PRO---
:o

Perplexio said...

I dig the Mickey Mouse picture:
I once heard an Aussie comic say that if Mickey Mouse were Australian he'd have a beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and he'd have one testicle hangin' out one of the legs of his red shorts.

phred said...

FOAD Bob Knight !!!!

:P fuzzbox said...

starbender: Me too. Or at least a bronze medaled amateur.

perplexio: For some reason it didn't come out very clear when blogger uploaded it but I liked it to well to not use it.

phred: Imagine what kind of God he would be around here if he actually had a decent season.

Shay said...

Oh!
And FOAD to whoever designed those TP rigs that only allow you to take 4 thin little squares before the roll sticks and the squares rip off before you even have a chance to stop pulling!

If the TP is gonna be so thin, I'm gonna need more than 4 squares!

David Amulet said...

You have my full support on all of these. Well done.

-- david

:P fuzzbox said...

shay: Those are the absolute worst!

david: Thanks.