Thursday, July 06, 2006

FOAD Thursday: Movie Edition

I do not get to go to the theatre as much as I would like but I love the movies. So today I thought I would turn my roving eye to the world of movies.

1. What the flying Fuck are those idiots doing to Superman? From the story line that I read, Superman has hauled ass to go find himself like some '70's hippie and came back and the world has moved on. Lois Lane got married and pushed a puppy during his absence. Now Supes is back and trying to win her heart once more. What a load of horseshit. He is Superman not some fuckknob trying to horn in on someone else's old lady. So to the writers and producers of the new Superman movie, Fuck Off And Die for trying to make Superman some ordinary buttmunch scumbag adulterer.

2. Here's a big Eat Shit Fuck Off And Die to the movie industry for putting out all the good movies in a three month span in the summer and a two month span around Thanksgiving and Christmas and shoving shit at the audiences the rest of the damn year.

3. To all the rude inconsiderate assbags who feel that the world is their own private living room and carry on conversations, talk on cell phones, and generally make a nuisance of themselves; Fuck Off And Die. And the next fucktard who bangs on the back of my chair will have one hell of a time removing the bloody stump of their leg from their ass. Consider yourself warned you waste of cum asslicks who are in search of the almighty comfortable position regardless of who you piss off.


36 comments:

phred said...

Homosexual cowboys and now a adulterous Superman.
Communist / faggot Hollywood writers...FOAD.

Green Eyes said...

Damn, I love Thursdays! My son is all about Superman, last night I put on my Superman undies (yeah I have some, what of it?), and the boys had on theirs. We matched! lol

Bad story line or not, I don't see myself getting out of this one!

Jenna Howard said...

I heard that in the Superman movie they say: "Truth, justice and and all that other stuff."

And Cyclops is running around in Superman. Isn't that mixing up the stories? Cyclops romances Jean Grey not Lois Lane. Harrumph. When does Pirates come out? Oh yes. Tomorrow. Aaaar. Savvy?

Perplexio said...

Having seen Superman Returns, it's actually quite good:

1) Supes wasn't going to Krypton to "find himself" he was just curious as to whether or not he was indeed the only survivor from his home planet.

2) Lois Lane is NOT married-- she's living in sin with Richard White, nephew of Perry White the editor-in-chief of The Daily Planet.

3) Kevin Spacey is fucking brilliant as Lex Luthor, he gives the role more of a menacing sneer than Gene Hackman did. He's delightfully evil!

4) Brandon Routh bares an uncanny resemblance to Christopher Reeves, especially in scenes where he is portraying Clark Kent. The mannerisms, the voice, everything-- the dude NAILED it.

5) In the closing credits there's a note that the film is dedicated to Christopher and Dana Reeves. Nice touch.

:P fuzzbox said...

phred: They are making the planet safe for all alternative lifestyles.

green eyes: I will probably watch it myself. But damn that story line sucks.

jenna: I am going to watch Pirates this weekend. Arrgh Matey.

perplexio: So they have made Lois Lane an unwed mother. Isn't that special.

ozymandiaz said...

They should sell drugs at the concession stand so that we can stand the drivel they expect us to shell out $8 bucks a pop on. And I aint talking no prescription crap either...
And that's another thing. Fuck, the last time I went to the movies (yes it was Stupor-man), mind you this was a matinee, for two peopel, just two, not a fucking family or what, no, just two fucking people, with movie tickets and a couple of sodas and some popcorn, hell, none of them were even large, and we shelled out like forty fucking dollars. WTF? What's more, the fucktards running the counter made inbreds look like Einstien. Where do they find these shitheads. The fucking pop corn machine was more inteligent than the boobs. And they have these combo specials that are the axact same price as the sum of the individual items. What do they think, I'm as stupid as they are? When I asked one of the attendants about it they fucking stared at me with a look so fucking vapid I almost fell in.
Fucking tards...

Vic said...

Oh I am with you. Shut the hell up in the theater. I don't care what you think is going to happen, what you did that day at work or what other movies you want to see.

Oh, oh, oh, and if there are plenty of open seats, DON"T come sit your fat ass right next to me and think we're going to be friends. That drives me nuts!

Ben Heller said...

haha Fuzz

Seems like you're in need of Kryptonite today.

Mimi said...

I love Thursdays. You always say something I agree with!

The Phoenix said...

And why do parents bring little kids and infants to PG-13 and R movies? What the hell are they thinking????

Catch said...

The movies sure arent what they used to be for sure. And those people on those cell phones.....I wish they had them shoved up their ass. I usually just stay home and catch it on pay per view. Its so much easier, not to mention cheaper.

Crazy Dan said...

Louis is not married so he cannot commit adultry. In the comics superman does go out into space to try and find clues and pieces to his home world. The child might be Superman??

So I hate movie critics who talk shit about a movie without seeing it or know the characters BIO. But I love you fuxxy... hugs and kisses.

Sherri said...

You know what pisses the hell out of me even more then the person who continuously hits the back of my seat in a movie?? The person who sits in front of me and turns to glare at me if I so much as move. What the hell?!?

Bruce said...

Hollywood hasn't had an original idea since Moses was in Underoos. With the glut of comic book and TV- related movies, bad remakes, and unnecessary sequels, it's just not worth going to the movies anymore. My FOAD goes to Hollywood in general.

Big D said...

I haven't seen it yet, so I'm going to try and have an open mind.

Big D said...

Plus supes should forget Lois Lane anyway and bang Wonder Woman.

phred said...

WHO is Louis ??

Metal Mark said...

I like the part about people talking and bumping seats in the movies. The aisles seem to have more room, the seats are more comfortable and the volume is far louder than it used to be. Which means one has to try even harder to be an ass an unfortunately some people are. That's what dvd's are for. If you want tell someone your life story then wait and rent this movie on dvd and talk then. Going to the movies is expensive and you done't need someone keeping you from trying to enjoy it.

:P fuzzbox said...

ozy: You would think that popcorn was damned caviar at the freakin' theatre and a fuckin' coke was damned champagne. Price gouging motherfuckers don't they get enough money from the overpriced tickets and the fucktarded commercials.

vic: No Shit. Damn I hate that crap.

ben: I'd settle for a Scooby Snack.

mimi: Thanks!!!

phoenix: I don't know how many horror flicks that I have gone to see and someone has brought their young children in. WTF are these people thinking? I just want to tell those folks, Thanks ever so much for pissing me off and traumatizing your kids.

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: The cell phone has out manevoured cigarettes as being the number one thing done in a public place that pisses others off.

cd: Louis? They've made Superman gay? Damn that is even worse.

sherri: People are going to have to move. Those people who are overly sensitive need to be bitch slapped til they stop.

bruce: You make a lot of sense. I just saw a trailer for the new Miami Vice movie. Makes a person just ask why.

big d: I love the discussion in the movie, 'Mallrats' talking about Wonder Woman being the only one who would be able to handle his super sperm.

phred: I don't know but that is just wrong.

mark: That is the truth. I love how most theatres have gone to stadium seating to give everyone a better view but no matter what a few rotten assholes have to make it a pain for the rest of us.

CT said...

he would blow a hole through her back, bc it could shoot like a sperm shotgum... lol

Leigh said...

What is our world coming to. *giggle, giggle. I love your place on Thursday. You say what the rest of us are thinking.

Phats said...

HHAHA YES!! I think what you ended this post with should be posted on a sign as the rules of how to act in a theatre!! get em fuzz

Jenny said...

Nicely put.

I'm not a big fan of anyone who feels the need to "find themselves" superhero or no. It's the most pathetic excuse to slip out of the hell that is your life I've ever heard.

Shay said...

I fucking HATE it when people disturb me in the cinema!
I'm there to get lost in the magic and people keep trying to pull me out!

It was REALLY bad when I lives in the Caribbean and now I have strategies for avoind potentially anoying people.
^_^

:P fuzzbox said...

ct: And a multiple orgasm would be like a double barreled shotgun.

leigh: Thanks! I just calls 'em as I sees 'em. I noticed that you put me up on your blogroll. Thanks ever so much! I added your name to the infamous Friends of Fuzz List. The list has the distinction of being a kick ass blogroll put up on one of the shittiest blogs in the blogosphere.

phats: I think the phrase 'waste of cum' might offend a few people. :)

jenny: I like to bask in my fucktarded mistakes so I am totally with you on that one. But to each their own I suppose. Thanks for dropping in I noticed that you have put me on your blogroll. Too Cool, I put you up on mine. Thanks Bunches!

shay: Now that is a post you need to share. Dealing with Rude Assholes 101.

Phats said...

who cares it makes me laugh and that's all that matters HAHA :)

Ranea said...

Tell em' Fuzz! All the douche bags talking,and kicking seats at the movies should wait for the movie to come out on DVD and let the rest of us enjoy it in peace! That is after you get over the sticker shock at the concessions stand!!

Big Pissy said...

You said it so well!

Will you go to the movies with me the next time I go?

I'll need you to bitch people out for me here in Hell.

Thanks! ;-)

April said...

Yeah...not getting out of seeing Superman over here either. My five year old son is ALL about Superman.

As far as treating the world as your living room....OMFG, I hate those fuckers.

Happy FOAD Thursday, Fuzz. :)

Keshi said...

U need some Vodka tonite ;-)

**To all the rude inconsiderate assbags who feel that the world is their own private living room and carry on conversations, talk on cell phones, and generally make a nuisance of themselves;

lol I so know wut u mean!


Keshi.

the weirdgirl said...

"waste of cum asslicks"... snicker! I'll have to try to work that one into a conversation somewhere.

I would really LIKE to get out and see a movie IN A THEATRE again. Stupid in-laws, uh, I mean babysitters, and their weird schedules. Man, I am so having a FOAD Thursday.

Crazy Dan said...

Fuzzbox + Crazydan = BEARHUG!!!

:P fuzzbox said...

phats: Thanks!

ranea: No shit!

pissy: That would be cool.

april: And a happy HNT to you.

keshi: That might help. Or at least it couldn't hurt.

weirdgirl: Hopefully things will pick up on Friday.

cd: Hugs and kisses. Mwah.

Webpirate said...

Agreed. If you can't fucking follow the dam comic when you make a movie, don't bother. You know what really pissed me off was that Kinpin was BLACK in Dare Devil, WTF? It goes without saying that the man who played that part, did a hell of a job, but have we PC'd the shit out of the Comic world too?

:P fuzzbox said...

I have to agree with you but Michael Clarke Duncan did an awesome job and a person couldn't have asked for a better Bullseye than Colin Ferill.