Sunday, August 06, 2006

Hat Dog


I have come up with a solution that would combine a persons love of animals with the solution to their thinning hair. That solution is hatdog. Many dogs are both small enough to wear on a persons head and hairy enough to make a good hairpiece. Breeds such as Lhaso Apsos, Shih Tzus, Pekinese, Toy Poodles, and Scottish Terriers would make excellent hatdogs. Besides making attractive hairpieces there are many other excellent reasons to why a hatdog would make a great companion toupee/wig:

If you found yourself at a dinner party and the host served you a truly nasty appetizer, you would be able to divert the hosts attention and quickly feed the appetizer to the hat dog.
  • Nothing would make a warmer head cover in the winter than a living warm blooded animal.

The hatdogs ability to lick it's own nuts would make it a snap for it to give a person's ears a good cleaning should the need arise.

The product even has a built in commercial jingle by rewording the theme song to the animated series CatDog.

Hatdog, Hatdog, go get yourself a little hatdog.

For the entire line-up of Nicktoon theme songs. Click here and cringe.

37 comments:

Bruce said...

Ya know, I tried that when I had my black lab, but I almost broke my neck, plus he wasn't all that happy either...

Great post, Fuzz.

Jenna Howard said...

While I'm not going bald *phew* I thought...I bet this a great idea to keep the sun off my head, maybe keep my ears warm when I head up to the Glacier.

The neighbor's dog bit me.

I think the little bastard has rabies.


ps - hilarious. You have a weird twisted mind. Iiiii love it!

yellowdog granny said...

my luck i would end up with warm crap on my head keeping it warm....

Heather B said...

My basset hound does like to cuddle, but this may be taking it too far :)

jane said...

hahaha how about a pigdog? pighat? errr...nevermind. how your brain comes up with this stuff i dunno, but i absolutely LOVE it! you always give me a good laugh. even if you are just some cheap ho. ;)

:P fuzzbox said...

bruce: Going for the long haired hippy look huh.

jenna: There is downsides. A hatdog would need lots of training.

yd granny: You might want to put up the old newpaper barrier.

heather: A basset hound would work great in the winter as his long ears would make great ear muffs.

jane: Angry Joyce often wonders at the workings of my mind. She is worried about it as well as she has started using my same thought processes and can sometimes come up with my next line in a conversation. She is very afraid.

Metal Mark said...

I think I will choose to remain bald rather than risk having a dog humping my cranium.

Keshi said...

haha funny!

check my latest post Fuzzy..I did something I thought I'd ever do..posted 2 pics of mine w.o. blurring em or cuttin em off :):)

Keshi.

starbender said...

What about fleas?
:o

:P fuzzbox said...

mark: What is it like Right Said Freds hairdo? Is it too sexy for your dog.

keshi: Great pics over there.

starbender: Wear a coller if you are worried about giving your dog fleas. ;)

Sorry bout that. Sometimes I can't resist a smartass comment.

Leigh said...

Oh my gawd I'm totally laughing my ass off! That is so perfect. Hey fuzz do you know why dogs lick their own balls??? ..... cuz they can!

Have a great day!

LisaBinDaCity said...

That was funny!

My pup prefers to be a lay on my foot dog. Is that wrong?

michaelm said...

I think a "hatcat" may stay on better because of the claws.
Once you scar over a bit, your problems should be solved.
Plus, when they purr, your head gets a nice massage.

~m

David Amulet said...

There was a beer ad a few years ago where a guy tried to go into a bar with his black dreadlock-looking dog, but they stopped him cold. So we put the puppy on his head and pretended to be Jamaican, white as he was. Hilarious--the first two times I saw it.

-- david

:P fuzzbox said...

leigh: Phunny, have a great day!

lisa: Whatever gets your piggies warm is okay by me.

michael: Just be careful when the yak up a hairball that would be worse than dandruff.

david: I remember that commercial. Sometimes a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

michaelm said...

A warm and sticky hairball....ewwwww.
I actually cleaned one up this morning from my male cat, Sherlock.
You'd think I would have known.
~m

Curare_Z said...

Reason #42: You can train your hatdog to growl when your irritating boss comes into the room. Then you can act like you didn't hear a thing. It'll drive him/her nuts!

Green Eyes said...

Fuzz, you tell Angry Joyce that I'm praying for her! Hard!

You're allowed to keep being who you are, you're ingenious! But, it's not ok to take your wife with you! Return her to us, pronto!

Perplexio said...

I'd just be worried about all the impromptu showers I'd get every time I'd walk past a fire hydrant.

starbender said...

C how u R!
;]

...not me silly, I don't need help...
I still have a FULL HEAD of HAIR...

:)

Ben said...

I'm lucky and unlucky I guess.

I'm not follically challenged but my pate is curly so I look like a well coiffered Poodle most of the time.

Ranea said...

Fuzz you are a twisted soul. But I luv it!!

tsduff said...

Too bad afghans don't come in lap size. I like the long hair.

Sherri said...

Hatdog! LOL!!!

You could teach it tricks to entertain you when you're unfortunate enought to be stuck in a dud of a conversation.

The Phoenix said...

PETA is going to find your blog and probably send you a nasty comment and call for a ban of your site. I just know it. Animal rights Nazis are like pitbulls.

:P fuzzbox said...

michael: It's the small things you find out during product testing.

curare: That would be an excellent attribute of a hatdog. It might also get the line moving a little faster in the express lane.

green eyes: She appreciates your prayers.

perplexio: The training of hatdogs would have to be extensive.

starbender: I know I can be downright evil at times. :)

:P fuzzbox said...

ben: You are lucky if hatdogs ever become a rage you can just stick a couple of fake eyeballs on your noggin and be in style.

ranea: Luv ya back.

tsduff: I wonder if they have ever tried to miniturize the breed. It certainly has the hair for a hatdog.

sherri: That would be cool.

phoenix: I am surprised more groups haven't called for a boycott of this site. I am a political correctness target looking to happen.

Catch said...

I have seen some men who have hair that looks like they have a small dog on their heads...lol..or maybe its a toupee. My daughters gf's dad wore a toupee and he was taking them to cheering practice one night and they had the windows down and his toupee flew off.....lol..and then one time I was at a carnival and it was when wigs were popular and I had one on.....I always put a sock over my real hair......I got in one of those air ballons with my son and my wig came off....lol. You think I didnt look stupid in that sock?

siren said...

It sounds like a great idea, but I think they'd be a bitch to dye.

Perplexio said...

Fuzz: Unrelated but you need to check out this blog. It's a thoroughly entertaining blog entry on the virtues of us blokes have female friends. It might make for a good topic for the Beauty vs. Beast blog.

Just wanted to give you a heads up, old sport.

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: It's good that you can laugh about it now. I bet it was funny and it is nice to know that I am laughing with you.

siren: You phunny. :)

perplexio: This subject has been done in a small part over there on this post.
http://beautyversusthebeast.blogspot.com/2006/02/when-does-friendship-cross-line.html

I will send it on to Siren though she might want to revisit the subject. I haven't had anything to do with the site in a while other than being a fan. Maybe she will ask me to do a guest post later on.

Phats said...

This is a very interesting concept you should trademark it before someone steals it

Pixie said...

*speechless*

:P fuzzbox said...

phats: If I marketed my ideas, I might have hit something by now. I could have been the greatest thing since the Oxy-Clean moron.

pixie: Surely not.

Anonymous said...

that was fucking hilarious!

iowacorn said...

Anonymous said...
that was fucking hilarious!

-- damned complicated word verification made me jump the gun

:P fuzzbox said...

Thanks, I do that sometimes myself with blogger comments.