Thursday, August 03, 2006

FOADT: I Hate The Songs


I really had to think hard this week for a Fuck Off And Die post. Sure there are plenty of worthy entries, such as oil companies, electric companies, Hezbollah, and Mel Gibson. But really those are much too easy targets. But as I was thinking about it an insipid little ditty popped into my head and I had my topic.

I am one of those people that are blessed (or cursed) with being able to relate just about any spoken phrase with a song lyric. This makes it far too easy for the slightest ambiguous phrase to bring some truly hideous tune into my head where it stays for days or even weeks at a time. So here is a list of songs that are constantly a source of pain for me.


  • ' I Would Walk 500 Miles' by The Proclaimers - Words cannot express how much I hate this piece of shit. And just when I thought that I could possibly erase this crap from my sub-conscious, Visa ups and uses it for a damned commercial. Thanks a lot assholes. You can both fuck off and die.
  • ' That Thing You Do' - If I come across this damn movie while I am flipping through the channels, I cannot get it out of my head for a minimum of two days. So here's something you can do Tom Hanks; Fuck Off And Die.
  • ' Mr. Roboto' by Styx: I cannot prove it but I know that after listening to this song for the first time, my hair started falling out. Fuck Off And Die Styx for making me bald.
  • ' Do You Think I'm Sexy?' by Rod Stewart - Fuck No!!! Fuck Off And Die
  • ' MmmBop' by Hanson' - Aaagh, you demon spawn motherfuckers, get the fuck out of my head.
  • The Mmmm Mmmm song by The Crash Test Dummies - Think of some damned lyrics shitbags. That humming has to be a major cause of suicides and hate crimes in elevators.

I am sure that everyone can think of many more but with all those songs running through my head, I am not going to push it any farther. So to any annoying piece of shit song among the thousands in ipod hell, Fuck Off And Die.

*******

Remember to go here and check out other great FOAD rants.

54 comments:

Keshi said...

OMG Fuzzy havent u heard of the Crazy Frog? I could FOAD that TOAD a zillion times and still feel I havent even begun.


** Do You Think I'm Sexy?' by Rod Stewart - Fuck No!!! Fuck Off And Die

LOL!

Keshi.

Metal Mark said...

I chose not to read all of the songs listed there because I was afraid one would get stuck in my head.

Ben said...

You picked some good ones there Fuzz.

I would have picked Bob Dylan because I've sat through one of his albums three times on the spin in order to review the album.

"eeeeidiot wind".
It's punishment for me you know.

That Crash Test Dummies single is annoying I agree, but in its defence, if you can make it to the last 45 seconds it has a really sweet outro.

Rocky said...

The "Don't Worry Be Happy" song drives me nuts. If I'm worried, the road to happiness doesn't start with that song.

siren said...

Oh man..now I have MmmBop stuck in my head. Thanks a lot.

Mimi said...

Damn I got MmmBop in my head now!

You chose the perfect songs for FOAD. I like the Tom Hamks movie. But all those songs suck. Who the hell thinks Rod Stewart is sexy?

jay lassiter said...

hippy that i am, i really hate to admit this but for me, anything with Bob Dillon makes me throw things at the radio.

he seems like a cool guy but his voice makes me wanna kill myself.

also; "i'm too sexy" by that band in the early 90's. that one makes me cringe just thinking about it.

Curare_Z said...

I have the same affliction! The bane of my existence is "Red Red Wine." I could vomit whenever I hear that song or something reminds me of it.

On a more modern bent, there is this STUPID song called "murderer" or something like that by some R&B twit who sounds just like all the other twits these record companies are churning out. This song sends me into absolute fits of rage...and gets stuck in my head for DAYS...DAYS I tell you!! AARRRGGGGHHHH!!!

starbender said...

hahahaaaa, luv it!!!
...I also have that wacky ability 2 relate just about any spoken phrase with a song lyric-- my kids think i'm nuts, they say it drives 'em crazy....

AND THANKS 4 REMINDING ME IT'S THRUSDAY!!! WHERE THE HECK HAVE I BEEN???

We flood'd here really bad over the week-end, my basement had 4 ft of nasty water in it... I have been cleaning it out...what a s-l-o-w process in this heat!

Big D said...

I love those songs though. It's fun to sing them and watch them get stuck in other peoples heads, but I'm too sexy for this comment too sexy for the comment, too sexy it hurts. And I'm to sexyfor this blog, too sexy for this blog, so just go surfing.

oldfartswife said...

haha, great list fuzz. I think Rod will be doing a commercial for "Lavitra" in a few years singin that song. I think his money is VERY sexy

starbender said...

fuzz- They still don't have me listed on the foad list!!!
wah... :"[

is there a way 2 contact them?
pa-pa-p-l-e-a-s-e let me know!
:)

Vic said...

Thank you Fuzz, thank you very, very much. I would walk 500 miles....shit. I'm going to hear that all freakin day.

Mike said...

I'm the same way Fuzz. In every conversation at least one movie quote or song lyric pops in my head. Of course I then have to say it out loud. Most of the time people know what it is since I surround myself with other freaks like myself.

The Phoenix said...

I did a post on "earworms" a while back. You brain keeps replaing the song over and over again because you're only mentally singing just a part of the entire song.

Your mind is trying to finish and complete the song, hence you get the song stuck in your head.

One way to get the song out is to either listen to the ENTIRE song and sort of sing along, or get the words via google and finish the lyrcial loop.

starbender said...

hey wait!--
Viewing the list closer--
U'r not on there either!
:( hmmm....
:o
we need a more accurate ...and reliable.. list---

Jenna Howard said...

Wow...aren't I impressed with myself when I put that beer commercial up with the 500 miles song! Sweet!

I was had a painful experience in my headd...Ashlee Simpson. Just...put me out of my misery. Aurgh...there it is again! *sobs sadly into hands* No, no, no...No l-o-v-e. Make it go away!

Ranea said...

After reading your post a song popped in my head and won't go away. Goody two shoes by Adam Ant.
Damn you Fuzz!!!

starbender said...

btw...
Grandma is priceless!
;]

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: I intentionally left off the crazy frog tune. I didn't want it stuck in my head to late though. You have put it there. AAArrrrgggghhhh.

metal mark: I bet it didn't work. Mr. Roboto is too powerful to resist.

ben: I have the utmost in respect for you after reading that Dylan review. I cannot comprehend the dedication that must have took to listen to a whole Dylan album front to back. They would have ended up locking me up in an asylum.

rocky: When I think of that song, I think of the Grinch holding his head and screaming, 'the noise, the noise.'

siren: You are very welcome. :)

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: The movie was entertaining but how damn many times did they have to play that damn song.

jay: As the Waterboys mother would say, ' Bob Dylan is the debil.' And Right Said Fred are probably his demon spawn.

curare: I can take the Marley version but the UB40 version can send me into a spasmodic fit.

starbender: Sorry to hear about the flood. We would have gratefully taken some of that rain off of your hands. I will see what I can do about getting you listed on the link page.

big d: Yeh that can be fun.

:P fuzzbox said...

old farts wife: What a great comeback that would be for him.

vic: You are very welcome. It is always nice to be of service. :)

mike: It is always nice to surround yourself with freaks. I prefer it so I don't stand out in a crowd.

phoenix: I do not think that is completely true because I know for a fact that I know every single stupid ass word to 'That Thing You Do.' And I still get the damn thing stuck in my head.

starbender: I have noticed that there are a few more that the list does not mention. Maybe the list can foad. And thanks it took a lot of searching to find grandma. Have you been over to smoke and mirrors and seen his link to the strange statues site? Some of them are hilarious.

ranea: I take absolutely no credit for that Adam Ant tune. I bet Adam Ant would like to say the same.

Leigh said...

Why is it the more you hate a song, the more likely it will get in beded in your brain and you go the whole day singing it. The mastercard commerical "Hands in your pocket" is the worst for me.

Have a great day Fuzz!

Green Eyes said...

Damn! OK, I am going to listen to Phoenix (thank you very much by the way) and google that 500 miles song and finish the loop!

Ooooh, a scientific study! Yeah! Wish me luck!

Green Eyes said...

OK, I did it. That is a really long song! I'm feeling pretty good right now. Yep, still ok...

:P fuzzbox said...

jenna: I didn't respond earlier sorry about that. I do not blame you for that song. It was much better in the beer commercial. Maybe beer took the sting out of the tune.

leigh: I am having trouble with that Burt Bacharach Geicko commercial. It is truly hideous.

green eyes: It might work but I doubt it. Like I say I know all the words to some songs that still plague me.

April said...

OMFG..thank you SO much for listing these songs.

Now I'm sitting here singing that damn Mr. Roboto song.

Know which one always get stuck in my head? That damn weem-a-way song from Lion King...In the jungle, the mightty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight...

Heh.

angel, jr. said...

I think any Hanson song!!

:P fuzzbox said...

april: Near the village the peaceful village the lion sleeps tonight. Near the village the peaceful village the lion sleeps tonight.

That song does stick.

angel, jr: I should have stuck in a country tune for you. The one that comes to mind is that infernal Gretchen Wilson Redneck Woman song. That Woo Hoo thing that she does sticks in the back of my brain. It is not welcome there.

Bruce said...

Taylor Hicks can FOAD, as far as I'm concerned. If I see or hear that damn Ford commercial one more time, I won't be responsible for my actions.

The Phoenix said...

"I know what I want...I know what I need..."

How about a bullet to the brain?

Taylor Hicks blows monkey chunks.

David Amulet said...

How is it that nobody has yet mentioned "Macarena." Just the thought has my cringing under the table, holding my ears ...

No wait, that's because Curare is calling me. But you get my point.

-- david

Perplexio said...

I like some of those songs (but certainly agree with you on others)... Some that would make my FOAD list include:

I'm Too Sexy by Right Said Fred
Rico Suave by Gerardo
Informer by Snow (and the number one reason why white Canucks should stay far far away from rap!)
Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice (that's a cool bass line, but I liked it a lot better back in 1983 when Queen & David Bowie used it for Under Pressure)
Star-Spangled Banner by just about any and every R&B artist (I know you guys like to add your extra flourishes and embellishments, save that shit for your albums. This is the national fucking anthem, show it some respect and sing it the way it's supposed to be sung!)

:P fuzzbox said...

bruce: And why do they use the cheesy American Idol stage for their set? It makes me scream.

phoenix: But is that what you really really want.

david: What is even more annoying than the song is the dance. It is a true audio visual nightmare.

perplexio: Don't forget that extra ting.

Crazy Dan said...

I have to disagree I did not think those are that bad and I do not think you can have a list of songs that instantly stick in your head without "Safty Dance"

...you can dance if you wanna....

:P fuzzbox said...

cd: What do your friends not dance? Well if the don't dance then they are no friends of mine.

jane said...

omgosh thats a great list & i know EXACTLY what you mean!! there's a commercial with another song that irritates the hell out of me, but fortunately, i can't think of it right now.

i put up the link on my blog. sorry i didnt have it up earlier.

Pixie said...

Well none of those songs really annoy me. I even bought the Proclaimers album and the Crash Test Dummies single :|

Infact I cant really think off the top of my head any songs that make me want to kill. Although I am sure there are some.

Catch said...

well no..Rod Stewart is NOT sexy.....but.....most bald headed men are very sexy! Its something about the eyes...so you may thank the ones that made you lose your hair...and the next time you hear Rod singing that song...change the lyrics to "Yes I know Im sexy!"

Big D said...

You no phone answering bitch! I know you check your blog every 5 minutes so read my post and contact me before 5. I'm going to go support the patroitic guard and tell those God Hates Fag Motherfuckers to piss off.

:P fuzzbox said...

jane: Hopefully it's not that Vonage commercial. That thing gives me the chills.

pixie: How about the pieces fit tune? Aaaagggghhhhh that one drives me nuts.

catch: That is an excellent idea.

big d: I am sooo there. What a bunch of douchebags! Hopefully someone will donate bail money if One of us knocks one of those slimy cocksuckers the fuck out.

Big D said...

Dude could you run by Duckballs and pick up a couple of flags and I'll pay you back. I've to run and get some gas and then I'll meet you at your house.

Big D said...

Strike that I'll run by and get them as I walk home.

starbender said...

WoW-- how come i'm the only one people give s#%t 2 on-line???
:""( wahhhhhhhhhhhh...........

sheese.... don't let 'em C u'r site, or they might
be as happy here as they were at my site....

first saby--now this---
(or R they all SABY???)
AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michele-U have me paranoid!
hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

:]

Sherri said...

One of the women I work with, Julie, is a song buff too! I'm forever recovering from ear ticks because of her. There isn't a phrase she doesn't have a song lyric to.

:P fuzzbox said...

starbender: I think it is the same asshole on all those comments. That guy is a piece of work.

sherri: It is a curse.

Phats said...

HAHA!!
I love the picture that's just awesome

Now come on I know you're really a closet hanson fan.

yellowdog granny said...

i love many songs..but the minute they use one of my beloved songs to sell tennie shoes, cars, insurance, diarhea medicine, or any other object..it's off the list..f***em...and i think all you people that are allocating days for your foad day are missing the boat...in my little rednecked world...every day is fuckoffanddie day....be real texan sugar.. think big...

tsduff said...

Every body Wang Chung tonight.

RSM said...

So, since I'm a [gag] mommy blogger [/gag], do I not have the right to comment around here? I kind of like my knee caps and I'd like them to stay in tact, so an appropriate written warning will suffice...

Anyway, can I add a song to your list? That Barenaked Ladies song, One Week. You know, Chickety China, the Chinese chicken...

I've gouged my eyeballs out many-a-times because of those fat bastards.

:P fuzzbox said...

phats: That is the hardest thing for me on the foad posts. Coming up with a picture that you don't see everywhere. I really scored on that find. And no Hanson really never did it for me, I am a closet Neil Diamond fan if the truth be told.

granny: But I am such a nice guy at heart. ;)

tsduff: Hope you are having fun tonight. I never understood how to wang chung.

rsm: Mommies are more than welcome here. As long as they play nice and don't tell me to wash my mouth out with soap. But after looking at your site I know that you won't be telling me that. And that is a great addition. For some reason that also put that dreadful Spin Doctors tune in my head. AAAArrrrgggghhhhh, the humanity.

Thanks for popping in I appreciate it.

michaelm said...

I love you for your mind, Fuzz.
ROTFLMAO
Great post.
And I agree with every single song.
Nice to finally know that Styx is responsible for my receding hairline...

~m

iowacorn said...

Now THAT was some good FOAD shit!!! Thanks for making me laugh tha thard

:P fuzzbox said...

michael: They are the debil.

iowa corn: It is always a pleasure to be of service. Thanks for popping in.