Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Big Ass Bob: Part One?

Big Ass Bob at the all you can eat buffet
Screw the plates just give him a tray
Then Step aside and give him room
Body parts in the way spells their doom.

Big Ass Bob skips the salads and soups
And hits instead the heartier groups.
Kill another pig. He's hit the Pork Chops.
With one more steak, he just might pop.

But no, Big Ass Bob has stamina as well as speed.
A whole pan of meat loaf he gulps down with greed.
And then the dessert tray piled to the sky
With ice cream, cakes, candies, cookies, and pie.

When every morsel is gone from the place
Big Ass Bob leans back and belches into space.
The cooks are all weary and the owner is spent.
Down Big Ass Bobs gullet his profits have went.

Though the cooks be weary and tired
They may wish that they were fired.
For with a smile on his face and grease on his chins
Lunch may be over but soon dinner begins.

30 comments:

Phats said...

Wow you should really go into poetry! or possibly greeting cards, does hallmark know about you? :)

That reminds me of the simpsons episode where Homer goes to an all you can eat and sues cuz they run out of food haha! :0)

Jenna Howard said...

I thought of that fat dude in Monty Python who chowed and chowed until the chocolate wafer mint done him in.

That or the divine Fuzz is hating his diet and thereby wants to smother Big Ass Bob with the small bowls of pudding.

Oh and Big Ass Bob ate my Hat Dog. Someone better warn him about that rabies scare.

Ranea said...

Someone needs to get Bob a figurine from TLC. The one that says, "An all you can eat buffet is not a challenge."

Ben said...

Is Big Ass Bob someone you know Fuzz ?
You'd have to walk 500 miles to work all that lot off (oops sorry, hope I didn't remind you of your favourite song)

How's your fruit diet going by the way ?

michaelm said...

Very Seussian, Fuzz.
Could almost be a kids book.
The jpeg is a classic.
I'm changing the name of one of my cats to Big Ass Sherlock...

~m

Laurie said...

Great looking blog...and the writing ain't bad either.

Mimi said...

This one will be recited at poetry meetings for years to come;)

Good one fuzz:)

:P fuzzbox said...

phats: The Mr. Deeds collection of greeting cards are a constant inspiration.

jenna: I had forgot about the Monty Python dude. One of my inspirations was that Directv commercial with the clip from Austin Powers. Get in my belly. They play it all the time.

ranea: In all actuality, I tried to find a pic of that figurine but I don't think that they have actually made that one yet. Although it is on their ads.

ben: There are good days and bad.

:P fuzzbox said...

michael: If I could only aspire to be Seussian, he is my literary hero.

laurie: Thanks and thanks for popping in. You got some funny stuff going on over at your place.

mimi: Thanks perhaps I should hit the coffee shop circuit. Or maybe the flea market.

starbender said...

hahaaa! I think I saw Big Ass Bob just yesterday!
luv'd it!
:)

Sherri said...

I know a big ass pete who totally fits that bill! LOL!!!

Curare_Z said...

My mom insists on taking me to the "Old Country Buffett" every once and awhile. There Big Ass Bob sits, along with his wife Big Head Bertha, and their kids Generous Waisted George and Thunder Thighs Thelma.

It always works to curb my appetite.

cleveland said...

like the poem fuzz and yes i have to say it but it looks like the martinez brothers are at it again

David Amulet said...

I channel Big Ass Bob whenever I enter a fine Chipotle establishment.

-- david

Sar said...

That is big ass funny, Fuzz.

Green Eyes said...

I am so happy you're keeping up with the Tuesday poetry!

Pixie said...

I think we all know a big ass pete.

love the pic too!

LisaBinDaCity said...

Suddenly I have lost my appetite for supper...

:P fuzzbox said...

starbender: He's everywhere.

sherri: Is he the one that can't find his feet?

curare: Imagine the powers they would have to curb the appetite at a nude diner.

cleveland: Thanks for popping in fucker. I am looking forward to smoking your ass at a little fantasy football this year.

:P fuzzbox said...

david: He is an inspiration to us all.

sar: Thanks, I appreciate it.

green eyes: Just wait until part two. I haven't decided whether I will post the R version or the X. What do you think?

pixie: I decided on that pic. Some of the others that I found were quite unsettling.

lisa: Maybe you can stick to the salads and soups. Big Ass Bob avoids those so maybe it wouldn't bring up any bad imagery.

Catch said...

Did you make this up??? its so cute!!!! And the pic of the cat is so funny! Big Ass Bob indeed.

Leigh said...

OMG I think I know Bob! I love Tuesday at your place, you have a gift. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the giggles.

Hope you are having a good day.

siren said...

A fine tribute to the big asses of the world.

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: I am hurt. :( As if I would plagerize. Glad you liked it. ;)

leigh: Thanks! I am not much of a wanna-be poet but it is a lot of fun.

siren: Wait until next week for Big Ass Bob Part Two. You might be taking back those words.

Big D said...

Big Ass bob ain't got shit on sexy George!

:P fuzzbox said...

Big D, that was one crazee ass pic.

Green Eyes said...

You're asking me? lol I say go with the X, of course! *wink

I mean you're bad, but we all love it when you're really, really bad!

:P fuzzbox said...

green eyes: Thanks, at least I know that I won't end up pissing off one person. :)

Keshi said...

big katass funny! :)

Keshi.

:P fuzzbox said...

He's a cutie huh.