Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Big Ass Bob: Part Two


It's the Cathouse Blues for Big Ass Bob,
So much trouble for a simple knob job.
He saved up his nickels and he saved up his dimes
And went to a hooker to have a good time.

He took off his clothes and laid on the floor
My respect to the girl. Sometimes it's tough being a whore.
She moved his gut here and she moved his gut there
But to no avail she couldn't find his pecker anywhere.

But this gal was a pro, she knew just what to do
She sidled beside him and cooed in his ear, 'I have just the trick for you.'
She bent him over and spread his cheeks wide
And with a gloved hand she put two fingers inside.

Anal Masterbation might have been the only way
But the poor girl should have got hazard pay.
Big Ass Bob's burritoes for breakfast and Chili Dogs for lunch
Made for not quite smooth sailing if I have a hunch.

But After it was over and all said and done
He had to admit that it was a lot of fun.
As he limped out the door with a sheepish grin on a face filled with glee
He wondered if next time she could use fingers three.

31 comments:

Pixie said...

LMAO.

Ben said...

I hold my hand up and admit that's the best yet Fuzz.

Then I put my hand down very quickly as I realise someone might want more than 3 fingers

Mike said...

That was great. Somehow, unfortunately, I had a mental picture of what was going on.

ATL LG said...

You ain't right.

But then that's cool with me.

Great one.

:P fuzzbox said...

pixie: Thanks. I appreciate that.

ben: Is that's what's meant in the Limp Bizkit tune by 'hands up hands down'?

mike: It's all about painting a mental picture to me on Tuesdays. Glad it worked. Sorry bout that though.

atl lg: This little rhyme might have set a new low for me and that's tough considering some of my other posts.

Curare_Z said...

It's a happy world and you're a sick man, Fuzz. ;-)

angel, jr. said...

Hilarious!!

oldfartswife said...

I see a book of poetry in your future, Fuzzwizz!
sick, sick, sick.
Smilin, throwing A three finger wave on the way out!

my word verification is.....
"udhoa", haha!

tsduff said...

A tad bit tough to face this post early in the a.m. without my coffee... ugh. Not bad writing though.

yellowdog granny said...

gee and people wonder why it is so easy for me not to have had sex in 21 years..

Big Pissy said...

You have such a rare talent!

I suck at poetry....

Green Eyes said...

OK, Fuzz, I was laughing so loud I got "the look" from my lovely asshat boss.

Soooo funny and sick! lmao

the weirdgirl said...

Wow, amazingly appropriate picture for this one (and somewhat disturbing mixed with the mental one).

But maybe that's just 'cause of the pictures I posted on my site.

Mimi said...

thank god for gloves

Catch said...

lmao...you are just too much!!! Im laughing my ass off.....

Jenna Howard said...

Wow. You have such a way with rhyme.
The imagery gets me every time.

:P fuzzbox said...

curare: My header could be flipped and still be apt.

angel, jr: Thanks!!!

old farts wife: That sounds like something Big Ass Bob might have grunted.

tsduff: I would suggest waiting until the second cup before reading this post.

:P fuzzbox said...

granny: Did you lose your gloves?

pissy: I don't know that I would quite call it a talent.

green eyes: He probably needs the glove treatment.

weirdgirl: I will have to go check your pics.

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: Ain't that the truth.

catch: Thanks, I was wondering if this post would be too much.

jenna: Thanks and sorry 'bout that imagery.

David Amulet said...

Brilliant, depsite the horrid Fat Bastard imagery.

-- david

Ol' Lady said...

poetry in motion.....

starbender said...

Hahaa! Thanx 4 the visual!
:o

writerchick said...

Sorry Fuzz,
I was left in the dirt on this one. I must have missed something.
WC

Gerald Ford said...

*Rolf* I thought I was weird.

*ROOOOLLLLFFFF*

:D

:P fuzzbox said...

david: Thanks, I should have had him say, ' Get in my belly.'Or should that have been 'Get on my belly.'

ol' lady: And that's a lot of motion.

starbender: Anytime. ;)

wc: I guess you can't please all the people all the time.

gerald: There is always someone weirder. I am still looking myself.

Ranea said...

She needed a gas mask to go with the glove!

Bruce said...

This reminds me of an episode of Crossing Jordan(btw, Jill Hennesy..rowr) where a pimp killed a rival pimp(a very fat one) by sticking a gun up his ass and pulling the trigger.

:P fuzzbox said...

ranea: That might be considered pretty sexy with the leather crowd.

bruce: That would certainly add insult to injury.

michaelm said...

Smells like a Sextastic Tuesday...
Have you ever listened to Distorted View, Fuzz?
It's right up your alley buddy.

~m

Paige Burns said...

I'm not sure what to say to that other than...shit,(literally) I can't think of what to say to that!

:P fuzzbox said...

michael: I can't say that I have. I will definantly check them out.

paige: I can't believe that left you speechless. Surely a ewwyuch or something. ;)