Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Crazy Dan Tutorials

My step-daughter needed to type out a homework assignment for band class and my printer is on the fritz, so I called up my brother, Crazy Dan to see if she could type it up on his computer. He said that it would be fine and to send her over. I had some reservations on how the paper would turn out as my step-daughter;as documented earlier in this blog, is an insufferable smart-ass and Crazy Dan; well if you aren't familiar with Crazy Dan just go over to the links page and pop over to his blog 'Accidental Goat Sodomy' and give it a read. I figured if she needed any help at least the paper would be good for a few laughs.

When I returned from work the next day, I was not disappointed. After a few chuckles, I called her into the living room and pointed out a few sentences that might need a little editing and asked her how much help Crazy Dan had given her. She said that her two pages of handwritten material had shrunk to about a quarter of a page when typed out and Crazy Dan had only suggested certain areas to expand upon and did not actually coin any of her phrases.

Her assignment was on Respect and was handed out by her band teacher to the class due to their lack of this commidity. I will now quote a few lines which I suggested she might edit.

1) 'All those people that quit band and are in the Music History Class with Mr. Shipley are all gay. They are quitters and losers.' I told her that it is not correct to offer up such broad generalizations as they might not be all gay but only partially so and while the band instructor might agree with this statement, I doubt that she would like to see it on the paper.

2) ' It is our duty to keep the band hall clean. But everyone knows most of the mess comes from the trumpet and percussion sections. They are just nasty.' While this statement might be correct it is never the less devisive and might make her even more enemies in these sections.

On a better note, I believe a couple of her phrases were catchy. Her quote of, 'Band Geeks Rock', might earn her points from the head band geek and her quote of, 'If we come to class with Band Spirit, everything will come out alright.', I believe showed some ingenuity.

On her closing statement, I hope that she does not have to read the selection aloud for I do not believe that she is a good enough actress to pull it off with a straight face. 'See look at me. I do nothing wrong. Here I am standing up straight with my flute level.' And then her pic from a halftime show. That is her on the left.



Maybe they will let her tutor visit her in the dungeon where they hold in school suspension if she doesn't take my advice and edit it before turning the paper in.

19 comments:

Shay said...

Straight flute indeed!
*must not make flute joke*

Too bad we will never know what would have happened if she hadn't made any changes to her paper.

*must not make flute joke*

Your brother, does indeed seem crazy! And your step daughter is cute as a button ^_^

*fiew - no flute jokes*

Laurie said...

She's cute!

I used to play the flute in junior high school.

(No flute jokes, please!)

The Phoenix said...

Are those Superman shirts they're wearing????

I quit band in the 7th grade because the teacher made me uncomfortable. He got a little too touchy feely with me after class once, and I pretty much quit right there and then.

:P fuzzbox said...

shay: I was impressed by your constraint. I can't believe there wasn't an American Pie reference on the paper.

laurie: I will give no such reference. My step-daughter is pretty touchy on that also.

phoenix: It is the Superman sheild and I think it stands for something hokey like Superband. And I don't blame you for quitting.

Reiki said...

ummm...she should have edited in...those two dudes behind me playing their flutes are gay...especially the one with the music holder attached to his flute...

Johnny Wadd said...

That is a great story.
Crazy Dan for Principal!

:P fuzzbox said...

dear jane: Do you really think it wise to piss off the fat kid?

mic: Crazy Dan missed his calling I think. Imagine him molding the minds of our future leaders. The world would be a different place.

Anelize said...

I remember being very disappointed by the fact that my multi-page reports typed down to nothing. Finding interesting "filler" was always a must *LOL!*

Rocky said...

Very amusing post. I used to throw in weird little parts into my stories that were completely unrelated to paper just for shock value, so I loved those bold statements she used in her paper.
The only band I was ever in was kitchen band in college (where you and friends come home from bar at 2 AM gather as many "instruments" from the kitchen as possible and play and sing in effort to wake up those who did not come out to the bar.

Crazy Dan said...

She really didn't need my help. It is easy to write when you are pissed off. I think she did a great job she should have expanded more about the gayness and lesbians in band but refused to do so. I think thats the reason it is such a fragmented area in the paper. She did a supre job though.

:P fuzzbox said...

anelize: Thanks for dropping in. Most of my blog is filler.

rocky: Isn't it amazing the quality of sound comes out of a blender, egg beater, can opener, and metal mixing bowl quartet?

crazy dan: Thanks for your help.

Big D said...

Didn't sound like it needed editing to me.

CT said...

dude, just don't send her to band camp!!! We all know what the flute players do there.... LOL... sorry I had to...

jane said...

Crazy Dan is every niece's dream of an uncle. The kind that actually encourages you to write down what you truly believe. Our society is so damn PC, isn't it? I love your daughter's humor, it obviously must run in the family.

omg ct, bad bad bad!!!

phred said...

I agree with Mic, Dan missed his calling.

Ann Alsex said...

I knew that someone would have to bring up that Pie movie. Movies like that is what is bringing down the morals of our country. LOL :D

:P fuzzbox said...

big d: I figured that's how you would feel.

ct: I could see that one coming.

jane: Isn't crazy dan gonna make a good daddy? I can't wait to be a good uncle to his young 'uns too!

phred: Yep that's the truth.

ann: If anyone knows about loose morals, it would be you darlin'.

Mojotek said...

Wow... funny story. You gotta let us know if she actually turns it in that way.

:P fuzzbox said...

mojo: She edited it slightly. The only thing she changed was to take out the gay reference.