Monday, November 07, 2005



Crack, Caskets, and Other Assorted Crap

Last week in Gloversville, NY, there was a drug raid at the Hollenback Funeral Home. As the forty-five police officers converged on the scene, several of the alleged perps were found tossing crack into caskets. As the cops led the suspects to a bus in cuffs, a group of neighbors gathered and were singing the refrain from 'Cops', "Bad Boys, Bad Boys, what cha gonna do." The officials had gotten wind of the operation when neighbors had called in reporting naked corpses in plain view of the neighborhood. Although the crack was the illegal operation, it is hard for me to decide which was the more immoral of the two, the dealers or the way funeral homes gouge people these days. Thanks to Laurie over at Stranded in Suburbia, I recently saw that Costco now sells caskets but except for natural disasters and war there is (thankfully) not much call for burying in bulk.

This weekend a high school basketball team in Oklahoma has the distinction of being the recipients of one of the biggest ass whuppings ever. The team was beat 112-2. If a boxer is getting pummeled that badly the guy in the corner throws the towel. Why didn't this coach? I might can see trying to teach a never say die attitude but this is taking it a little far.

According to Peggy Post, an expert in manners, the tradition of pulling off your hat indoors started in the Old West. Cowboys would pull off their hats to prove that they were not hiding a weapon under them.

16 comments:

Laurie said...

112-2? Sure that wasn't a Detroit Lions' score? Sheesh..

Selling crack out of a funeral home? Hope it wasn't laced with formaldehyde.

Thanks for the mention..

Reiki said...

Fuxx, this is the second time your blog has erased one of my fabulously funny retorts. Shit, now I have to rememeber what I said!!!

Crazy Dan said...

That coach needs his ass kicked I would be willing to donate my time for this if they were to ask.

My word verification was sluttv, thats so badass.

Big D said...

Bring back memories CD?

If I can change two letters in my word verification it would be twatjob!

:P fuzzbox said...

laurie: You are welcome. I try not to outright steal anything if I think I might get caught (insert evil laugh here).

dear jane: Sorry bout that. But I am sure your wit will be just as good the second time around.

cd: I know he wouldn't have had to worry about it because I would have hauled ass in the second half if I was getting that kind of a whipping. The sad thing is it was 73-2 in the first half and the winning team did not play it's starters in the second half.

big d: If I changed 1 letter and added a letter my word verifacation letters would spell fartyou.

Reiki said...

I told you perverted word verification letters is a fun game...

Master - Baiter said...

Crack kills...that`s why you need a coffin.
And if I got to take off my hat, I`ll just mosey on somewhere else.
Dear Jane... are you sure you don`t have some cajun blood in you ?? :-p

Reiki said...

masterbaiter...I am very particular about what goes into my body. I think I'd notice some cajuns.

The Phoenix said...

112-2? I wonder if they scored their basket early or late in the game. Could you imagine if it had been 100-0 for the longest time, and then one of the losers accidentally makes a basket? Or maybe the winning team's coach told his boys to allow the opposition to score at least ONE basket...a mercy basket.

:P fuzzbox said...

mb: So you subscribe to a you can leave your hat on policy.

phoenix: The score at halftime was 73-2 so it was a hard fought score.

Rocky said...

At Costco, why buy a coffin when you can buy a coffee can big enough to bury someone in?

On that basketball game: I wonder if the other coach was pissed his team gave up the one bucket?

Mojotek said...

Hmmm, the only positive I can even muster for that basketball team is that they held the other team to almost 50% of what they scored in the first half.

:P fuzzbox said...

mojotek: Glad to see that you have joined the legion of goatee wearers as a longtime member of the goatee legion, I welcome you.

:P fuzzbox said...

rocky: Bet they took an ass chewing at halftime and that is why they played more defensively and didn't score as much but totally shut them down.

jane said...

I've read somewhere that our knives are pointed away from the eater at the table, as a sign they're not going to stab others. (or something like that, I suffer from CRS)
2 of our local high school football teams had a score of 108-8 last week. Ridiculous, eh? They're really still kids, afterall.
I've seen those caskets & there's one I like, but probably won't be there to pick my own. ;)

:P fuzzbox said...

jane: thanks for stopping by. At least they had a touchdown but it seems ballsy that they went for a two point conversion.