Twisted Vocabulary
While doing the usual blog surfing, I came across the latest post of Dear Jane. She posted about the Washington Post Mensa Invitational, a contest where you had to alter a word by changing, adding or subtracting one letter, and then give a definition of the new word. Although the examples of their work was good, I couldn't help but think that these eggheads just were not down with the sickness. Here is my twisted spin on a few words.
Auwhority - An expert in prostitution.
Egopistic - The pride in writing one's name in the snow.
Insomenia - A sleep disorder akin to sleep walking but it is sleep phucking. A man wakes up and he is in some.
Misterbate - When during the act of self-gratification, the man loses track of where the semen went, as illustrated in 'Something About Mary'.
Miscalcumate - An error in judgement when using the rhythm method.
Premanstrual syndrome - The protective reflex of a male when his mate is suffering from premenstrual syndrome.
Priccalo - A musical dildo that whistles while it works.
Pulemia - The compulsion to masterbate after eating a meal.
Returded - When the shit hits the fan and flings back in your face.
Transfuguration - The hideous metamorphysis that occurs, when after drinking heavily in a bar, one goes to bed with someone of beauty and wakes up with someone who is fugly.
Feel free to share your own twisted words. Remember vocabulary is a living breathing thing who knows one of your words may be the new shizzle. If Snoop can do it, why not you?
22 comments:
My compulsion is to masterbate during every meal I call it gorging.... "use you imagination"
Hope you can keep the hair out of your soup.
fuxx, I am a sick sick girl in this happy world and this is hilarious. I wish I had thought of it first, though. I guess you are a bit more perverted than I...well done, sir!
Thanks a lot dear jane. Actually two of the words come from my wife. I will leave it for people to guess which two are hers.
Angry Joyce - miscalmumate & Premanstrual? I left another comment on your last post as well. And let me know when you are done with those polaroids, ok?
dear jane: premanstrual was Angry Joyce's but miscalcumate is pure fuzzbox.
laurie: I'm sure you'll come up with one. I had another one that my wife didn't like. Sarcoughapus - The mummified vagina of an ancient Egyption.
opporPunity - a chance at hitting some puss.
sMallow - to cause cum from a small dick to pass through the mouth and throat and into the stomach
exCunge - bodily fluids being expelled out of the vagina
Muffet - An establishment at which guests serve themsleves various types of puss.
CD: Way to give it the old goat fucker try.
Heres another one: Captration - The act of castrating someone by busting a cap in their nutsack.
melanchoDy - upset because no one will play with your chode.
PoRntificate - the ability to drone on and on about the wonders of pornography
CD, i like muffet...phunny.
A couple more:
sellatio - Oral sex from a door to door salesman.
cunnilingur - Oral sex that takes a long long time.
:P I think those two are my favorite.
Next you should do a post about adding a letter or two to word verification letters to make perverted words.
Best wishes for a sick, sick Friday...
Carnnibal - The act of carnies eating each other.
dear jane: Some of the word verifacation letters are damn close to being perverted without much help at all. That's a good idea.
laurie: I thought you said you couldn't think of one. I saw on a comment of yours yesterday where you mentioned moobs for man boobs. I had never heard that term. Now that is phunny.
Thanks for the word big d.
moobs...like the Manziere from Seinfeld.
I always preferred the term, The Bro over Manziere.
Fuxx, are you trying to go tit for tat with me?
I wouldn't do that. It's not like either one of us has to have the last word or anything.
Flopless dancer ... dancer that is not so well endowed.
Phred: Eventhough technically you changed two letters. I still loved your response and award you the coveted Twisted Mensan Award. This entitles you to one free call to Phone-A-Friend. Details in the next post.
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