Monday, October 17, 2005


Man's Best Freind

A couple of posts back, I introduced J.D., so I thought that today I would tell a little story in order to give a little background glimpse of this enigmatic ex-bullrider. I had the strange fortune or misfortune (however one wants to look at it) to work with J.D. for a few years and not a day passed that he failed to amaze me in one way or another.

One night as J.D. and his wife was having sexual relations, in the missionary position, J.D. felt a magical sensation sweep his nether regions. As it was an experience both strange and new, he asked his wife what she was doing to create this wonderful sensation. She having no idea what he was talking about asked him, "What the hell are you talking about." He stated to her, "Well it's like your pussy grew a tongue and is licking my nutsack while we are having sex." To which she responded, " I still don't have any idea what the hell you are talking about."

At this point, J.D. looked over his shoulder and discovered the creator of this wondrous sensation. The family pet, a little terrier, had jumped onto the bed unnoticed by J.D. and his wife and was licking J.D.'s scrotum like there was no tomorrow. At this point in relating his story to us, his co-workers, he stated wistfully, " I would have kicked that dog out but it just felt too damn good."

As you could imagine J. D. received quite a bit of ribbing both good natured and otherwise. Some asked him if he rubbed peanut butter on his balls to get the dog to lick them. Some told him that his wife had the dog trained and he just happened to get in the way. I never gave him to much hell over it. In the first place, I couldn't keep a straight face long enough to get more than two words out of my mouth and in the second place it is a sick world and I am a happy man.

I must sadly give the conclusion to this tale. A couple of years after J.D. related this story, the beloved family pet died in a tragic accident. The family buried the pooch in the backyard and gave it a heroes farewell. I am sure that there was not a dry eye in the proceedings. There are those who might think that cowboys are hard of heart and there are those that feel that men cannot show emotion. But those people did not see the haunting sadness in the eyes of J.D. when he told us that his best freind had died.

In Memorium: Skippy 1996 - 1999

16 comments:

Crazy Dan said...

Who would not be sad to lose the dog that licked your nuts.Maybe he can buy that cat that has two tongues. Its true just recently they have discovered a cat that has two tongues, its going tob e in the next Ripley's Believe it or not book.

Rocky said...

Wow, that's a nutty tale. I'm surprised he admitted letting the dog do this and he didn't instead brag that some "bitch" licked his balls all night while he was getting it on with his wife.

Reiki said...

How could you not notice a dog betwixt your thighs? He knew, he probably trained the mutt to do it, so maybe he wasn't such a dullard afterall, eh?

:P fuzzbox said...

Crazy Dan: The cat sounds talented but aren't they notoriously hard to train.

Rocky: I never thought of it that way. Maybe now I can get a dog and keep a straight face.

Dear Jane: You may be right that J.D. trained the dog as this was the majority opinion at the plant. I personnally opted for the theory that his wife trained the dog and he just happened to get in the way. I reasoned that it would take a good amount of quality alone time training the pooch and since we worked a rotating shift and half of them nights, she would have a lot of cowboyless training time.

Big D said...

All we are is dust in the wind!

Johnny Wadd said...

Nothing wraps up a great dog ball licking funeral than a little Kansas.

:P fuzzbox said...

Yall are so right for nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky, even ball lickin' dogs.

Crazy Dan said...

Just thought I would let you know I enjoyed kicking your ass this week Fuzz. You put up a valient effort and would have beat most of the teams but you just couldnt do well enough. Also on weekly pics I was once again number 1 the first weeks are always the hardest and now I am begining to make my come back. So you better get ready to be on your knees.

:P fuzzbox said...

Have you been taking your meds c.d.? And my word verifacation letters phoenettically spell out orgasm. Thats cool!

cleveland said...

well you will need to learn how to lick your nuts when we are done in the maxim and yahoo football it is you and i in the next macth up

Crazy Dan said...

is it battle of the worst records next week?

MrV said...

If i could lick my own nusts I would never leave the house

Laurie said...

Reminds me of that joke:

Why do dogs lick their balls?

Because they can.

Danielle said...

AWWWW... poor doggie... did they get another one and train it the same way?

:P fuzzbox said...

mrv: I know the feeling. I would probably have a chiropractor on retainer if I could accomplish such a feat. As would 98% of all men if they were being honest. The other 2% are dog trainers.

Laurie: You said it. Evolution is bullshit if man is such a higher power why can't he lick his balls like a common pooch.

Danielle: Sadly none of their dogs proved to have the aptitude that it would take to learn this skill, as far as I know.

.: raven :. said...

lololol