Sunday, June 18, 2006

Happy Fathers Day

When I was 16 years old and received my drivers license, my father gave me a condom and told me that if I wasn't in bed by midnight, then I might as well come home. That little piece of advice has served me well after I learned to accept it. But that isn't all that he taught me.
He taught me that barbecuing wasn't just a way to cook food. It's a lifestyle.

He taught me that farting was necessary. There is more room on the outside than on the inside and a farting mule never tires.
He taught me that a beer gut can be a useful thing to have. If you have a tool that you are proud of you better build a shed for it.

He taught me that there is more to being a man than just having a penis. It is about being the best that you can be with what you have and always striving to do better. It is about being there no matter what when your family needs you. It is about standing up for what you believe in and never backing down.

Thanks Dad, You have made me the man that I am. It's all your fault.


Catch said...

this is cute Fuzz....and some mighty true words spoken there. I am wishing you a Happy Fathers day, enjoy your day!!!

Mimi said...

Funny and heart warming. Your dad sounds loving and realistic, two traits of a great father!

Happy Father's Day Fuzz!

Metal Mark said...

Happy Father's Day, Fuzz!

siren said...

I would say your Dad did a fine job :) Have a great Father's Day Fuzz!

michaelm said...

Nice post, Fuzz.
The only "penis" reference my father ever made was this: (pointing to his crotch) "When this is hard, (pointing to his head) this is soft."
That was about it. So succinct...
Have a great Father's Day, dude.

later on,


Bruce said...

The biggest regret I have is that, before he passed away at the relatively young age of 50, I didn't tell my father that I loved him more. That said, I'm quite sure he knew I did. When he was alive, we did a lot of stuff together, because that's the way he was.
My father is the reason I'm such a nutbag for sports, especially the Cardinals(his parents knew Stan Musial). He's also the reason I can be both a hardass and a softy, because he taught me, and my brother, that it's ok to be compassionate to your fellow man; that it's ok to cry. I don't have any children, but my brother has two, and I see a lot of my dad in him, and it makes me proud.

Anyway, Happy Father's Day, Fuzz; I hope it's a great one.

Ann Alsex said...

Happy Father's Day Fuxxy:)

Big Pissy said...

Too cute!

Happy Father's Day, Fuzz!

Gerald Ford said...

He taught me that farting was necessary. There is more room on the outside than on the inside...

I love it! :)

Happy Father's Day all!

Jim said...

no wonder you're such a kewl dad!!!!

Manic Mom said...

What a great post; thanks for stopping by Manic's... nice to know there's another male reader, and that you're not consumed with your penis!

And MichaelM, you're dad's a smart man.

Manic Mom said...

Oops, typo... should be YOUR, not YOU'RE

jane said...

Your dad is a very wise man. I hope you had a wonderful Father's Day!

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: Thanks, I had a great day. My step-daughter showed up with Peach Fuzz. She is growing like a weed. I barbequed burgers for the bunch. Great Fathers Day stuff.

mimi: Thanks, Dad was always great with the one liners. I have inherited but a small portion of it.

mark: I hope your day went well also.

siren: He did as much as he could with what he had to work with. I am sure that I was rather trying at times.

:P fuzzbox said...

michael: That is awesome advice that he gave you. No truer words could be spoken on the subject.

bruce: I am sure that he knew. He sounds like an awesome man. More men need to know that compassion is not unmanly. It is what makes a real man.

ann: Thanks. I wish the best of days for Pookie.

pissy: Thanks a bunch. I appreciate it.

:P fuzzbox said...

gerald: Thanks a lot. I had to put a fart joke in there for fathers day. It was a must.

jim: Thanks!

manic mom: I was working on my blook that I am compiling to celebrate my one year blirthday and I came across a comment from you from last year that I never responded to. Better late than never I hope. Thanks for dropping by then and thanks for dropping by now. I appreciate it.

jane: He has his moments for sure. I had a wonderful day.

Anonymous said...

Happy father's day, Fuzz.

Why aren't girls taught this kinda stuff? All my dad told me was to stay away from guys like you. Sigh. So far that advice hasn't taken yet. Sorry dad.

The Phoenix said...

I hope you had a non-explosive (BBQ or flatulance) Father's Day.

:P fuzzbox said...

jenna: Sometimes good advice is hard to take. Guys like me count on it. ;)

phoenix: I hope you had a great and safe day as well.

the weirdgirl said...

Happy Father's Day fuzz! Hope it was a good one! (and I'm not late, it's actually still Sunday here)

Leigh said...

Happy Fathers Day! Hope you had an awesome day.

Green Eyes said...

Hope you enjoyed your day! The bed by midnight one is definitely a keeper! Would boys take that advice from a Mom, or is that a man to man thing?

:P fuzzbox said...

weirdgirl: It was a fine day indeed.

leigh: Thanks, I had a lot of fun.

green eyes: It took me a long time to realize this small piece of wisdom. Maybe it would come better from a mom.

Andie D. said...

Happy Belated Father's Day!

Oh god this post made me laugh! And it sounds like you really did learn about being a man from your dad.

The fart thing though? I get that it's neccessary. But is there a way to teach your son to do it quietly?

Keshi said...

**He taught me that farting was necessary.

ewwwwwww lol!

Happy Dads' Day to ur dad Fuzzy!


starbender said...

I've often wondered:
Is it better 2
burp it and taste it
Fart it and waste it?

Happy (late) fathers day!