Thursday, June 22, 2006

FOAD Thursday: Commercial Edition

Today I thought that I would give a big 'Fuck Off And Die' to some of the most annoying crap that comes on tv, dumbass commercials. So here are a few of the commercials that are out right now that are really annoying the piss out of me.

1. The Fruit of the Loom fruits prancing around singing that insipid song 'Blue'. I am sorry but singing fruit is the last thing I want to have covering my ass. Fuck Off And Die you annoying fucks. And that goes to the suited douchebag singing the damned Snickers ad and the ambiguously gay duo on those new Applebee's ads that make everyone want to escape to Chedders, TGIFridays, or anywhere else on the face of the damn planet.

2. The Geiko Gecko for being the most annoying piece of shit lizard on the face of the earth, Fuck off and die after you shove some free pie and chips straight up your ass.

3. Now I must speak for someone that is unable to speak for themselves. On behalf of Bigfoot, you fucktards from the Jack Link's Beef Jerkey Messing With Sasquatch Ads, Fuck Off And Die!

31 comments:

angel, jr. said...

Ditto for those three commercials.

Sherri said...

I absolutely hate tv the commercials for femenine hygene products!

The Phoenix said...

I'm so tired of the stupid Verizon commercials with that 'Where-Waldo' lookalike. Every time I see that geek, I have to think, "This guy's job for the last 6 years is to walk around and say, 'Can you hear me now?' How lame."

And now, the Verizon Geek doesn't even talk anymore. He just stands there with a silly grin.

Another commercial pawn I hate is Jared for Subway. They should've continued the ban on him speaking in his commercials. Just stand there, holding up your old pants. Sure - show off how much weight you lost eating sub sandwiches.

But the moment he spoke, he ruined it. It sounds like he's eating peanut butter while he talks.

Green Eyes said...

Damn, have I told ya how much I love it here on Thursdays?

Jenna Howard said...

Thursdays are fun here. Thankfully I don't get your Beef Jerky Bigfoot or your singing applebees. *phew*

I have to say I hate those dumb ass viagra commercials where the beep out what the guy's saying with a big ol' blue pill on his face. Ugh. I don't care! Or worse...the women singing "Good Morning" from "Singin'in the Rain"

:P fuzzbox said...

angel, jr: And the list could go on and on.

sherri: Like anyone really needs to see that. I enjoyed your entry into FOAD Thursday's.

phoenix: And now they have that stupid commercial with all the cellular mascots in one ignorent commercial. Aaarghhh.

green eyes: Thanks!!!

jenna: What cheeses me off about Viagra ads is that the product lends itself to some very funny commercials but they just can't get it right.

siren said...

The only duo I find more annoying than the Applebee guys are the Reynold's Wrap ladies. Go away, already. Geez.

Bruce said...

On the whole, tv commercials pretty much suck. Most of the time, it's some hot chick, dressed in her undies, selling garden tools, or off-road tires. WTF?

Mimi said...

Thank you Fuzz! I hate that damn gecko. He is so old. And when he started he did not have the australian accent he has now. And I hate those dudes in the Apllebees ads too!

Crazy Dan said...

I hate those damn outback comercials. Just becasue you can speak some lousy australian accent does not mean I want to eat your damn food. Get a new gimmick you unorginal batards.

FOAD to the network exects you will not let trojan get any airtime. The few comericals and radio spots I have seen his ass. I wanna see more of the Trojan MAN!!

:P fuzzbox said...

siren: I hate those Reynolds Wrap hags. They need to be wrapped in aluminum and given electric shock therepy.

bruce: And half the time you don't even know what they are selling until the last five seconds of the damn things.

mimi: WTF is it with that changing accents. Did they outsource a damn lizard?

cd: You couldn't be more right and the same with the Durex ads. The Durex ads rule on the radio but no tv coverage. If they can advertise for products ranging from douches to vaganil itching what is wrong with a condom ad?

Sherri said...

thanks fuzzbox! It was kind of theraputic, actually. LOL

Catch said...

Wow, I feel better now Fuzz...lol. That lizard commercial is about the dumbest thing. and those damn gaywad fruit of the loom fruits....comeon..give us a break! All they need to know about underwear for men are the size and color and if ya pack to the right or left. How hard is that to make a commercial?

jane said...

Yanno, I never thought of how men would feel wearing funny fruit on their asses. How can you hate the Geico Gecko? Those are some of my favorite commercials. Of course, I'm easily entertained, but still....

Aren't Thursdays a blast now?

David Amulet said...

Good selections, all. Especially that damn gecko. He should be put out of his misery. Now.

I will say, however, that Geico has a real winner with the "so easy a caveman could do it" ad. Absolutely briliant.

-- david

Jim said...

"Brian [bass] prefers to sing about chicken and seafood, while Kirk prefers songs about beef." <-- from the website

the ad and promotion budget is well over $100 million

Vic said...

I know its not a commercial, but today I want to say Fuck Off to Atlanta traffic - I spent 5 hours in my car today for a 1 hour doctor's appointment. Just damn!

Jamie Dawn said...

Please don't kill the gecko!!! I love that little fella.

I haven't seen the other commercials you wrote about except the Fruit of the Loom fruity guys. They should have pie and chips shoved up their... umm, do fruit-men even have butts?

I am annoyed with, "When the time is right... will YOU be ready?" ENOUGH already!!!

michaelm said...

Fuzz...
I can smell the love.
Wonderful rant, especially the re: the Geiko lizard. Irritating to no end.
Tell your bro's to check their email! I have a post for them!

~m

Leigh said...

Who comes up with this stuff? They make a huge amount of money who ever it might be.

Keshi said...

LOL!

Keshi.

tubawench said...

Add the Aflac duck to the Geicko Gecko. And I totally agree with sherri on the feminine hygiene products. If we need them, we know where to find them. And do we really have to have so many commercials about gastrointestinal disorders.

April said...

oh...I got lots of people that I could say Fuck off and Die to!!

I really hate the current trend to take scenes from movies, like Twister and turn it into a fuckin' commerical!

Breezy said...

geeze...sounds like someone has is panties in a wad

the weirdgirl said...

Yes, fuzz! Are you wearing panties? Are they in a wad? Are you suffering from fuzzy panty wad?

Goes good with the lesbian bar-be-queing, I suppose.

:P fuzzbox said...

sherri: It is a lot of fun and cheaper than anger management classes.

catch: You couldn't be more right.

jane: They're a hoot. :)

david: I like the caveman ads myself. They remind me of the old Phil Hartman skits on SNL about the Caveman Lawyer.

jim: It is amazing that they would spend that kind of money to drive people away.

:P fuzzbox said...

vic: That sucks.

jamie dawn: And what's with that side effect notice. If I experience an erection that lasts over four hours Angry Joyce would break it off before I could get to medical attention.

michael: I'll give 'em a holler.

leigh: After what they put everyone through it is like blood money.

keshi: Thanks. :)

Shay said...

aww but that little geck is so cute!

:P fuzzbox said...

tubawench: Somebody needs to Pekingise that damn duck.

april: And the take off on Ferris Bueller is just as bad. Damn those commercials suck.

breezy: How's it going? Getting nervous yet?

weirdgirl: Actually I am commando right now to fit a commando post.

:P fuzzbox said...

shay: He may be cute but he is annoying.

Anonymous said...

all you who hate the gecko can go to hell. the gecko is the greatest thing since lubricated condoms.