Late last night, my heart quickened
For the taste of mechanically seperated chicken.
To the Cupboard, My quest began
Searching for that meaty goodness in a can.
I do not spot it but I know it's there.
I continue my search. I do not despair.
Eureka, I spy, Behind the boil-in-bag rice
Beside the salt, pepper, and spice.
I pull back the lid and peer inside.
Joy of Joy my eyes open wide.
The juice is warm and fluid
Not like goo on the corpse of a Druid.
I tip the jar and drink the brine.
Oh the taste, so mighty fine.
Carefully so carefully, I pull out the wiener
Success, one whole piece, it could come out no cleaner.
My snack complete. I'm off to rest.
Perchance to dream, perhaps of breasts.
But just as I start to nod,
Acid Reflux, Oh My God!
27 comments:
Ok, I gagged that you drank the juice...
snap snap snap snap
Ouch my stomach really hurts.
For the next 2 hours I have the Hershey squirts.
I love Vienna Sausages! On crackers? Are you kidding me? They're awesome!
But drinking the juice, Fuzz? That's just nasty! ;-)
jamie: I like the juice if it is liquid. It is when it is it is cold and congealed that is sickening.
big d: Thanks for the snaps.
mimi: Thanks!
phoenix: Sorry bout that. Maybe some bologna would help.
vic: Gotsta have the crackers. Saltines. None of that Ritz crap. But the juice is the best part. Crazee Tastee.
Oh yuck!!! I'm grossed out....
There's just something about meat in a can that doesn't sit well with me. LOL
"Not like goo on the corpse of a Druid" LOL
The image you put inside my head
Will, for this day, fill me with dread
sherri: I work with a guy whose favorite snack is potted meat and Cheetos. He eats it Fritos and bean dip fashion. I've tried it and let me tell you it ain't all that.
cz: It was hard to come up with something that rhymed with fluid. But inspiration struck. Sorry about the visual.
WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
I bow before the superior intelect. Anyone one who can work "mechanicaly seperated chicken" in to a poem is a master at the art.
ozy: No you are the undisputed master of the poetic arts. My attempt is but a mere flight of fancy. I had to work the last line over about five times. I could think of nothing rhyming with heartburn.
I ate too many of these meat torpedoes when I was in college. I never realized before how hard it would be to find a word that rhymed with fluid.
Fuzz, I'm so impressed with your intellect! Loved it!
And no, I have no comment on the yuck factor, I had decided to block all visuals before I read your post today.
*on my knees thanking my intuition*
metal mark: Meat Torpedoes? I might have to start censoring your comments. ;)
green eyes: I thank you. You are far too kind.
ann: Small weinies aren't for everyone. :)
siren: Gotta luv it.
Awesome! I love some canned meat. My favorite is Devilwood roast beef with cream cheese on crackers. Oh yeah, that's the stuff.
Good job, fuzz! And I checked my Rhyming Dictionary... the only rhyme listed for fluid is druid. Of course, you could always have gone with the slant rhymes of putrid or lucid (but doesn't quite fit the theme as well).
ranea: I am but a mere mortal. But I thank you for your compliment.
weirdgirl: I am not surprised that druid is the only thing that rhymes with fluid. I just am thankful that my fantasy reading finally paid off.
Funny, but you don't seem Druish... :p
Extra points if you can tell me what movie that line is from.
Oh...just when I thought you couldn't get any more offensive...
*wink*
I dun think I have eaten those sausages ever...lucky me I guess!
Keshi.
Thats beautiful, man. Sheer poetry ;)
A hidden poet ... who knew?
-- david
bruce: I know I have heard that somewhere but for the life of me I can't think of where. I keep thinking either Spinal Tap or Monty Python and the Holy Graille. But I don't think that either of those is right.
april: Sometimes I think that there is no end to my depravity.
keshi: There the bomb. Something about mechanically seperated chicken that just is awesome.
fuckkit: Thank you. And I really like your new icon. Snazzy!
david: And I would think that many would wish it to stay hidden.
anelize: I did not know that they were big Spam eaters in Alaska. I have heard that they love it in Hawaii and that they were the biggest per capita eaters of Spam in the United States. They also are infatuated with robust women. Big women, Spam, and lots of beaches sounds like my kind of joint.
Fuzz- it's from "Spaceballs"....
Damn, I should have known. Thanks.
ROTFLMAO.
Seems I'm always late visiting here.
I now see where the sausage comment came from. Very, very funny.
A poet, eh?
~m
I do not know if I would go as far as to say that I am a poet although I did have fun with this post. And I have read that somewhere. Maybe it was on Weirdgirls site she had some links up regarding the subject of placenta eaters. I also heard that it was the only meat that some vegatarians would eat since it did not require killing an animal to obtain it.
Okay, I'm definitely laughing now while at the same time writing off canned wieners forever...LOL.
I'm glad you liked it. Just stay away from the potted meat and Cheetos. It is a deadly combo.
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