Monday, April 17, 2006
In the village where I work there is a set of twins. These twins, Bob and Bill, are legendary in this small community. The attribute behind their incredible legendary status is the type of attribute that every man would be envious towards. They are known to be hung like horses.
How did they come by this generous endowment of manly virtue? If you guessed heredity, then you would be wrong. Their mother is not generally known as soft spoken and when asked where the boys came by their massive members her only reply is, 'They damn sure didn't get it from their Daddy."
No they worked at it. As young children they would take a string and tie one end of the string to their penises and the other end to a brick and walk around the yard with the brick dangling down between their legs. Their mother has stated that at first she would go out and cut the string but as soon as her back was turned, the boys would tie it back and keep on roaming around with the brick tied to their peckers.
After they had grown up some they graduated to sitting on top of a dilapidated bus that was sitting on a frame in a vacant lot. They would tie the string to their pecker and the other end of the string to a brick and toss the brick over the side. It was kind of like bungeeing for the brick with their peckers as the anchor.
Later in life, Bob worked in a gravel pit driving a maintainer. One day a thunderstorm popped up and his maintainer was struck by lightning. From that day forward, Bob was certain that electricity held no power over him or his unit. He proved this by testing his new found power on an electric fence. He knew of a fence that was not phased down or powered by a solar charger but wired directly in to a 110 volt current. He gradually lowered his member to the electric fence and when he was an inch to an inch and a half away from the wire, an arc of electricity shot out and zapped him right in the head of his pecker. He turned with a smile to a friend and stated, " See, It don't even hurt."
Many men would like to have an electrifyingly long penis. The net is filled with pop-up ads and e-mails are filled with spam concerning penis enlargement. Everything from ginseng root, to penis pumps, to pills like Viagra are right at your fingertips just a click or two away. But these guys found the secret to success. Personally, I would say don't try this at home. Not every man is a Redneck Superman. As for me, I am thankful for the one that I have and don't want to jack around with Mother Nature's gift. (Unless it's all in fun.) Tying a brick to my root just seems a mite bit painful and I am not even going to comment on the effect of an electric fence zapping me on the head of my pecker. That is just shocking.