Friday, April 21, 2006

Burning Questions

I am no geneticist, but if an ugly but extremely intelligent woman marries an attractive but ignorant man don't they have a 50/50 shot at having a kid that is uglier than a mud fence and dumber than a bag of hammers?

Why is it that I think that old guys with bushy assed eyebrows are funnier than hell but I find Andy Rooney about as funny as a rectal exam?

Why is it that people think that the glass in their car windows allows them enough privacy to pick their nose at stoplights?

Is the hokey pokey what it's all about?

If looks could kill would you be held accountable for giving someone the evil eye?

Why do only fools fall in love?

Why is it that when people orgasm they say that they have came when they haven't really gone anywhere?

When you read the title did you think that I was going to ask about anal itching or STD's?


:P fuzzbox said...

Green Eyes: Your blog wouldn't let me comment so if you come by. Here it is. Thanks for the joke that was funny. I hope your hip recuperates this weekend, Limpy.

The Phoenix said...

I'll tackle a couple of them.

1)An attractive male will NEVER marry an ugly woman unless she has money. This is natural law. Men are much more shallow.

2)Rectal exams are funny - unless you're the schmo having one done

3)People pick their noses in their cars because they think they're swift and stealthy...but they're not.

4)When people orgasm they say "came" because there is no such word as "cummed."

Metal Mark said...

I'll try to answer what I can.

#1 Maybe, but you have kids anyhow and make the best of it.

#2 The difference is that Andy Rooney comes across as having rehearsed too much.

#3 More like they don't think anybody they know will see them.

#4 If so then I need to practice it more.

#8 I thought it was either about that or indigestion.

Crazy Dan said...

I can tackle those:

1)Take a look at your children (kidding angry joyce dont hurt me)

2)Nothing is funnier then imagain so poor bastard shaving his unabrow before work.

3)It doesnt'???

4)Its about sticking things in and out and for me that is what it is all about.

5) When have good looking people (like myself) been held accountable for anything?

6) Becauseyou have to be an idiot to do it.

7)Because your brain is actually the sperm and your itelligence just left. Thanmk God I am as dumb as a box of rocks.

8) I thought you were talking about that night of hunting and I was worried about phred!


Mimi said...

Good point about saying came during sex. I always wonder why people say they gotta take a piss or shit. You ain't taking it, your leaving it!

starbender said...

Far be it 4 me 2 break tradition~

1~ People who fall under THIS catagory should NOT be allowed
2 reproduce!

2~ Because He IS...

3~ U mean THEY DON'T :o

4~ Yes, we need 2 do more of it!

5~ As long as U are NOT BLIND!

6~ Foolish is what Foolish does!

7~ THEY DO? I always thought they said "OH GOD, YES, OH BABY, U ARE THE GREATEST !!!!
( least that's what I always hear!) ;]

8~ Definately STD's!


starbender said...

mimi~ BUT DON'T LEAVE IT AT MY HOUSE! hehehehee!

debbiecakes said...

Just stopped by from David Amulet's place. Glad I did, you really got me thinking.... about STDs and anal itching.

Vic said...

Two things
-Everyone picks their nose. Accept it and go one.
-Trust me, I go somewhere and it is a very, very nice place.
-No anal itching or STDs, but I was concerned about a yeast infection.
Oh, that's three. Nevermind.

Curare_Z said...

I agree with Vic...with regard to orgasms...I ertainly do go somewhere nice. And then I come back.

Green Eyes said...

Fuzz, glad you liked the joke! Couldn't pass up a Fuzz joke!

If looks could kill, there'd be a lot of dead people around me!


ozymandiaz said...

1. Must be because there is a town near where I live that is inhabited by those children
2. Because he is one of those children
3. It's better than them doing it while they drive
4. Haven't you ever listened to the words of that song, it's all about hell yea
5. Yea, you'll get the mark of the devil
6. Because us fools never look where we're going
7. I don't know about you, but I got somewhere
8. Well, anal itching didn't come to mind but now I know where yours is...

:P fuzzbox said...

phoenix: Being both extremely attractive and incredibly intelligent it was difficult to form that question from no point of reference. But switch the male and female roles in the question and it is still valid.

metal mark: That and his nasally voice.

crazy dan: Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

mimi: Ain't that the truth.

starbender: Sorry to say but they don't. So don't give the truckdrivers so much to talk about anymore :)

debbiecakes: Thanks for popping in and sorry about filling your mind with those thoughts.

vic: Yeast Infections? And I thought I was being gross.

:P fuzzbox said...

curare: Gotta like that.

green eyes: I'm just lieing on the floor.

ozy: It stays there.

Ann Alsex said...

Us good looking people should not be held accountable if looks could kill. We got to get rid of ugly people somehow anyway.

angel, jr. said...

I think the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about. But I heard that the Chicken Dance and the Electric Slide may also be contenders.

Crazy Dan said...

I think your getting a bit PC fuzz. I think you miss old crazy dan hanging around.

Catch said...

Ive seen 2 gorgeous people have an ugly kid...'and vice versa.

Coming ~ going ~ its all good.

People who pick their nose in public are just disgusting!

rectals are a pain in the ass ~

:P fuzzbox said...

ann: It takes all kinds and I certainly bear no animosity to those that are appearance deprived.

angel jr: What about the Macerena?

cd: I am a little pc but just a little. I do not think that anyone who is totally pc would ever talk about anal itching.

catch: Retal Exams a pain in the ass? Now you have me laughing. Thanks for popping in and you sound very familiar. Hmmm, I wonder.

guerrilla blogger said...

i think saying "i came" is easier than saying "i oh oh oh oh ooohhhhed..."

and you don't think andy rooney is funny because andy rooney is not funny. not even a little bit.

good questions though...

cleveland said...

well fuzz i gave it up but i will countinue to comment and read your blogs keep up the blogging. good post

siren said...

It took years of therapy for me to realize the hokey pokey IS what it's all about.

Is falling in love and being fooled the same thing?

:P fuzzbox said...

gb: Thanks, And I agree he is not one bit funny. Maybe if he just sat there and wiggled his brows but the minute he opens his mouth. Not funny.

cleveland: Just don't be a stranger.

siren: Nice to know that that is what it is all about. Saves me some time. On the other question it would take better minds than me to figure that out.

Catch said...

Thank You for dropping by my place! I sound familar? And what are you wondering about? You have a great blog!! I enjoy it!!

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: You are very welcome. I enjoyed the few posts that I read. I will be back to read more. And I might be wrong but you do remind me of someone. And I am always wondering about far to many things to write.

Jim said...

I still believe in rock 'n' roll
It pays my bills and soothes my soul
There really really isn't
A whole lot more around
Except for Frank Sinatra and the Big
band sound
I want music in the music
I want chicken in the soup
I want caffeine in my system let's revive
the hula hoop

Maybe it's all too simple
For our brains to figure it out
What if the hokey pokey
Is all it really is about
(Jimmy Buffett)

April said...

Yes...I thought that's where your post was going...but glad it didn't! ;-)

I think the hokey pokey is really what it's all about.

the weirdgirl said...

Thanks! Now I have a mental picture of Andy Rooney getting a rectal exam. *shudder*

Ranea said...

Fools fall in love because some wise ass tied their laces together. Now put your unabrow in and shake it all about!:D

:P fuzzbox said...

jim: I did not know that you were a parrot head. I have always been partial to 'The Bear'.

april: Nothing beats shaking it all about :)

weirdgirl: From Dr. Knuckles?

ranea: One face One Brow. Who could ask for more? :)

Laurie said...

We had a guy in the ER the other night with a glass dildo stuck in his.. ahem.. colon. He got the mutha of all rectal exams, LOL..

Michael said...

You think along the same lines as my wife, Fuzz.
She was watching one of those reality make-over shows one night and said the something very similar. Basically, even though the person looked great after the make-over, it doesn't change their DNA: the kids will still be butt ugly should the couple decide to, well, couple.
Rooney tends to get on my nerves but sometimes he hits a funny bone.
As far as the evil eye goes, I've "killed" many. =)


jane said...

YOu saw me picking my nose?

:P fuzzbox said...

laurie: It is a sick world.

michael: Your wife sounds very sensible. Tell her I like the way she thinks.

jane: That was you?

Bruce said...

Why is it that I see an inordinate amount of extremely attractive women with fugly guys? If I wasn't so old and jaded, I'd think there was still hope for me....

:P fuzzbox said...

Bruce: There is someone for everyone. And you are neither that old and I doubt very seriously that you are fugly.

Keshi said...

haha good one Fuzz!

**Why is it that when people orgasm they say that they have came when they haven't really gone anywhere?

hmmm I guess cos all the inbuilt-desire just arrived at the door :):) haha me n my slack responses!


:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: I didn't think it was slack at all. Maybe a little stiff ;)