Crazee Tastee Chicken

I am somewhat of an addict when it comes to barbecuing. Every weekend, you can find me out in my backyard with either my smoker or my grill fired up and a cold one in my hand. I haven't done a cooking post in awhile so I thought that I would share a method of cooking chicken that can't be beat.

I use my smoker but if you don't have a smoker any indirect cooking method on a grill will work. Here in West Texas, mesquite wood is yours for the picking. Drive down any dirt road and mesquite wood is just lieing there in the bar ditch. But if you aren't so lucky then charcoal on a Weber style grill with a roasting pan in the middle works fairly well.

First take a whole chicken and pull out all the innards that come packed in wax paper and shoved up the chickens ass and set them aside. Take a dry rub and sprinkle it on and pat it in. I use Stubb's because I am basically lazy and I love Stubb's barbecue but if I am out of Stubb's, I mix up black and red pepper, seasoning salt, garlic powder, paprika, cumin, and anything else that I can find in the spice rack that looks appealing.

Next drink about a quarter of a can of beer, then insert the can up the chickens wazoo. Perch the beer can chicken on your grill. And sit back and relax. You don't have to worry about flare ups. Just keep the fire going and the beer steaming up into the chicken assures that the chicken will not dry out.

Next for a tasty snack while waiting for the chicken to get done. Take a cast iron skillet and pour in about half a can of beer, a big dab of butter, the chicken innards, and salt and pepper to taste. It will be done quicker than the chicken and is good slathered over a chunk of bread.

Tagged For Food

Usually I hate tags but The Weirdgirl tagged me with a meme I couldn't refuse. So here in no particular order are five restaurants that know how to fill that empty place in the gut with the tastiest of grub.

Orlando's - (Lubbock, TX) - They bill themselves as being a little Italian and a lot of fun. If you think that Italian and Texas cuisine aren't a match made in heaven, then just order up some Mafia Queso for your appetizer and prepare to be amazed. The pairing of a damn fine chili con queso and Italian sausage served with both tortilla chips and garlic toast will blow your mind. I generally follow that up with a spicy dish such as Sizzle Shrimp, which is shrimp served with a habenero sauce served over angel hair pasta. And if you have room, they serve some desserts that are truly decadent such as the Chocolate Rum Cake. Makes me hungry just writing about it. Natalie Maines was once a waitress at Orlando's but I hope any of you conservatives don't hold that against them.

Joe Allen's - (Abilene, TX) - Next to my barkyard grill, the best barbeque that I have ever wrapped my mouth around was some good ol' mesquite smoked brisket at Joe Allen's. And the big horse trough filled with iced down cold beer as soon as you walk through the door doesn't hurt none at all.

The SmokeStack Restaurant - (Thurber, Tx) - The Smokestack is an awesome experience. Housed in the old company store for the now defunct mine in Thurber, it has that awesome combo of having a great ambiance and some damn fine homestyle cooking. And when you're there don't forget to pick up some Dr. Pepper made the original way in Dublin, TX. It's Dr. Pepper the way that God intended it. Made with pure cane sugar.

Furr's Cafeteria - (Lubbock, TX and a whole lot of other places) - All you can eat, everything from fried chicken, sirloin and mushrooms, liver and onions, fried okra, the best damned mac and cheese ever made, and more stuff on their buffet line than you can shake a stick at. What more could you ask for? Pie, that's what. And they have got it. Just think of any type of pie that you have ever ate and chances are they will have it.

Texas Roadhouse - (Maybe there is one near you.) I am not usually one for big chain restaurants but the Texas Roadhouse is an exception. They have never overcooked my steak one solitary time and that is a big plus for me. When I want it medium rare, I don't want some overzealous cook to destroy a good chunk of beef by cooking all the juicy goodness. And just one tip, don't waste your time with some damned salad. Take the chili instead. They have a mighty tasty chili.

I could go on and on but I will limit myself to these five other than to say if you are going through Dickens, TX then you would be an idiot not to stop at TC's Ponderosa and grab yourself a sliced barbeque brisket sandwich, they could damn near feed two hungry bears. If for some ungodly reason, you ever find yourself in Spur, TX, then you best stop by Los Olivarez and get some of the best damn enchiladas that you will ever eat. And if you find yourself in Matador, TX then stop by Main Street and eat one of the biggest and best burgers ever concocted along with some crazee tastee Onion Rings, and if you tell 'em that Fuzz sent you, you will either get treated royally or kicked out on your ass. That's just according to what the proprietor thinks of my latest post.

Another thing that I got a kick out of was seeing how this meme has played out. Here is how it has got to me.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)

velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)

LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)

Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)

Olivia (London, England)

ML (Utah, United States)

Lotus (Toronto, Canada)

tanabata (Saitama, Japan)

Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)

Lulu (Chicago, Illinois, United States)

Chris (Boyne City, Michigan, United States)

AB (Cave Creek, Arizona, United States)

Johnny Yen (Chicago, Illinois, United States)

Bubs (Mt Prospect, Illinois, United States)

Mob (Midland, Texas United States)

Yas (Ahwatukee, Arizona USA)

Alicia(Idaho Falls, Idaho, USA)

Tug (Hell, Colorado, USA)

Bond (Memphis, TN, USA)

TopChamp (Glasgow, UK)

Kailani (Honolulu, HI, USA)

Amber (Henderson, TN, USA)

the weirdgirl (San Francisco Bay Area, CA, USA)

Fuzz - ( Spur, America)

So now I will do something that I rarely if ever do. I will go ahead and keep the tag rolling. Here are the lucky tags. Michael at Smoke and Mirrors because I think that his and my tastes are similar and if ever I head up that way then I will know where to strap on my feedbag, Keshi at Viva Forever since I want to know what kind of tune she will put up memorialising food. Lisa B at Lisa B In Da City because I know she will know some awesome eateries (she's just cool like that), Rocky from Rocky Road Scholar because first of all I know he is a lot like me and loves some good eating and I do not remember him ever doing a tag, and Big D and Crazy Dan at West Texas Rocks just to see how much they will contradict me.

Re-Run City

I seem to be enjoying a trip down memory lane this week so what the hell. Here is a re-posting of a story that I did on November 9, 2005. I am sure the aroma of the post hasn't changed a bit.


Campfire Cooking

This weekend while browsing in Target, I saw a handy dandy kitchen appliance; an electric tabletop barbeque grill from Crockpot, that can hold three racks of ribs. Although it is against my religion to call anything cooked indoors barbeque, this looked handy for those times when the West Texas wind is barreling across the plains or the occasional hard rain, although I have carted the pit under the car port in times of need. To prove my dedication, I have even barbeque during a tornado watch patiently watching my smoking pit as the neighbors scurried for the storm cellars. When the all clear signal went up, I was taking up my ribs as the heads of the neighbors peeked from the ground like a bunch of mullet headed snake charming gophers.

Living in Redneck America, the fine art of the barbeque is not only a prerequisite but an intuitive thing ingrained in the womb. I consider myself a fair hand at cooking anything that doesn't dodge bullet or bumper but I generally do not do much in the area of cooking in a dutch oven except for a cobbler or chili, but once I had a hand in producing one of the most dangerous pot of beans known to man.A group of friends and myself decided to have a kegger/cookout about 20 miles from civilization out in BFE. After the meal had been devoured and buckets of beer had been drank, the only two left standing were Charlie and myself.

We were both night owls with a renowned prowess in the drinking arena. When the first light of false dawn arrived, we felt the inevitable hunger pangs associated with any all night drinking binge. Upon searching the campsite, we discovered that the only foodstuffs were some dried out tortillas and about two pounds of beans left out by the fire.The crusted over beans more closely resembled a dried out creek bed than anything edible. Therefore we doctored it up by pouring in a generous amount of Budweiser from the keg and put the pot back on the fire. We also figured that anything that crusty had to have lost much of it's taste so we added a copious amount of salt. As the sun peaked over the horizon, the pot was bubbling with an eery intensity.

These beans were fantastical. Not only were they crazy tasty but they produced intestinal gas that is legendary to all the other campers/victims that arose to the stench wafting through the West Texas Plains. I have not ate any dish since that created in my digestive system such a lethal and toxic flatulence. The lasting power, volume, and stench of the malodorous emanations were an incredible once in a lifetime achievement. Beans anyone?