Monday, May 28, 2007

Hi Tech World; Lo Tech Redneck

Technology has done wonderful things for mankind. Sometimes though, I wonder if technology has gone just a little too far.

I left one of my thoughts on this subject in a guest post over at Jane's place. If you want too see me at one of my most profound moments click over there and get some food for thought. (Yeh right like I ever get profound. It's more like profane.)

And my thanks to Jane for having me. Hope your readers don't bolt, darlin'. Luv ya!

Sunday, May 27, 2007


On this Memorial Day, I give remembrance to all the brave soldiers who have sacrificed in order to keep us free. Thank you!!!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Shits And Giggles

Today at work, I went into Central Control and asked the officer in Central to answer a question for me. She has to answer umpteen thousand questions a day regarding security, safety, and matters of great import, so she just gave me one of those looks over the top of her glasses that basically said 'Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself.' I gave her my best serious face and asked, " What are the words to Pop Goes The Weasel?'

After laughing her ass off and humming the song, she stated that she didn't know. I then went on my merry way. By the end of the day, she had called the tower, the front office, the supervisor, the Warden, and asked everyone in the facility that stopped by Central. By the end of the day everyone in the entire facility was singing Pop Goes The Weasel in varied lyrics.

If you cannot imagine what it is like for close to fifty adults to be walking around singing Pop Goes The Weasel, let me tell you it is funny as hell. And all because I was trying to get a rise out of one person. It made my day.
( As for the pic, I really couldn't post a pic of a weasel could I? I figured Lil' Bo Peep was a much better visual. Hey it's a nursery rhyme. That's close enough in my book. )

Friday, May 18, 2007

TrailerBilly Dreamin'

Last night I dreamed of inventing a new improved version of Fix-A-Flat. Instead of just plain foam in a can, it was a concoction of crystal meth and Everclear. It fixed flats like all get out but it made your car speed and stop to pick up ugly people of the opposite sex. So I guess I have a few kinks to work out.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Judge Not

I was watching an episode of Judge Alex with Angry Joyce. I generally hate these shows but she was watching it so I sat there and wasted a half hour of my life that I will never get back. On this episode, a man had bought a stripper a couch and two months later moved in with her as a roommate. He was alleging that he owed her $2,600 for the couch. She was contending that it was a loan.
The point where he lost his case came, in my opinion, when he stated that he never wanted a sexual relationship with the stripper. I knew at this point that he was a complete lier. I told Angry Joyce that no man would ever move in with a stripper and not want to have sex with her. Furthermore, it is my contention that there has never been a man that has lived with a woman, that is not a relative, and not wanted to have sex with her at one time or another. Eventually in a state of either loneliness, horniness, boredom, or drunkenness, he will want to bang her.
At this point, I looked over and Angry Joyce was glaring at me with a look of sheer disgust. I told her that she could stop looking at me like a was a dog because it is just what every man would think, if he was honest. She said that was right; All men are dogs. She's most likely right, maybe I should buy her a couch.

Monday, May 07, 2007

A Simple Word Of Advice

If you ever hear your wife make the statement, " I was a raving bitch at work today", it might not be wise to say, " So, you finally took your show on the road."
Oh well, as I always say, live and learn. Although some lessons are more painful than others. Anyone know how to take dents out of cast iron skillets?

Friday, May 04, 2007

Come See The Softer Side Of Me

I guess Michael at Smoke and Mirrors wondered if I had a serious side. He asked me to stretch a bit and write a slice of life post. I wrote one that needs a crusty voice over by Wilford Brimley.
So yes, I have a serious side. It's just that it's a lot like the Red Hot Chili Pepper's members in concert, I keep a sock over it. So what are you waiting for? Click Here and check out ' The Pond'. While you are at it give Smoke and Mirrors a good read. He's got the skills and when he lets it rip, there's just no telling where he can take you.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Cinco De Geek

I wanted to join Sugdaddy and all of Vic's friends in congratulating Vic on the completion of her Masters degree. He has proclaimed May 5th as Cinco De Geek and I wholeheartedly endorse it. Words seem such a poor thing to use in describing my admiration for my incredible friend. She is a survivor that can take what life can dish out and not only survive but thrive. She is a beautiful person both outside and inside. And most of all she is a woman of warmth and humor that manages to put up with my offbeat (lack of) wit. I am truly blessed to count her as a friend. That and she has some of the best damn HNT's around.
I would like to encourage everyone to stop by Vic's place and wish her congratulations. While you are at it, stop by and read a bit of her blog. You won't be disappointed. I never am.
While my words are a poor thing indeed, I hope that it would be some consolation to Vic that my favorite HNT pic's that she has done is now one of my favorite pin ups on this blog.
(And the pin-up by Garv on the left of this post has always reminded me of Vic. I hope she doesn't mind sharing a little of the glory in being the pin up of this post.)