Friday, December 07, 2007

Christmas On The Cheap

When moneys tight and your luck's run hard,

When all your credit is maxed on the card.

Here is an idea or three

To make the most of cheap holiday glee.

There's Cousin Al fresh from the pen

He'll ink a homemade tat for a five or a ten.

And for a gift both fresh and dope

He can carve the Virgin Mary from a bar of soap.

For a kick try some arts and crafts,

It might be good for a couple of laughs.

I think that I'll be generous and give my neighbors, the hicks.

A Family Portrait made from Popsicle sticks.

Whether in the lean or in the fat

I hope your Christmas is all that.

It's not the cost but the thought counts more.

Even if it's from the Dollar Store.

Saturday, December 01, 2007


With electronics high on the Christmas shopping list this year, it makes me think that a lot of todays technology is due to the porn industry. In the '80's, the proliferation of porn tapes made VHS popular and then later DVDs. In the '90's, the internet exploded in large part for it's ability to allow users to surf for free porn. I am guessing that the next trend will be robotics. When the porn industry comes up with a robot that can give a hummer with a song on it's humaniform lips and a song in it's mechanical heart, sales would be through the roof. If it is also be designed to cook up a mean lasagna, clean the house, and mow the yard, there will be one in every home.