Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Santa's Favorite Elf

In a corner office in Santa's workshop
Works Santa's favorite elf non-stop.
From dawn to dusk making the toys
For the naughty girls and the happy boys.

She doesn't make cars, boats, or kites.
She doesn't make Barbies, Slinkies, or Lite-Brites.
She makes the toys that make the winter nights warm
With a sly little grin and a world of charm.

So if Santa brings something that makes your cheeks turn red
With a warm glow and a blush from your toes to your head.
It might not have came from an Adult Stores shelf,
You might want to thank Santa's Sex Toy Elf.


Big Pissy said...


I think that might be your best poem yet!

Anonymous said...

So if Santa brings something that makes your cheeks turn red. With a warm glow and a blush from your toes to your head.

Wait, I don't get it. Are you talking about brandy or something? ;p

P.S. Wow, I actually made #2 for once. Shweet!

Ben said...

So that's who sent me this peek a boo rubber thong then !

Anonymous said...

MY favorite elf of all! Oh yeah!

Pixie said...


The Phoenix said...

This is when you're on Santa's "Naughty List" then, right?

Curare_Z said...

So how do you get on this particular list?! I would think that you should be on the "needs to be naughty" list, not on the "naughty list," since if you're on the "naughty list" you probably already have all the toys you need! :-)

the weirdgirl said...

Maybe this is a Santa's "Need to Know" list. (Well, just the girls.) Or maybe his "personal delivery" list. That could make everyone jolly!

starbender said...

It's just a sex elf day!
I'm betting that U want a
SEX ELF just 4 yourself this year!!!

MERRY X-MAS 2 U and Angry Joyce! Hope U both have a great one!
' ]

Lolly said...

Santa knows if you've been naughty, or if you need to be naughty. And Fuzz, I'll let Santa gather up some tree limbs over here to leave on your doorstep. :-o)

Catch said...

So thats where those edible panties came from!

LisaBinDaCity said...

You Perv ;-)

Sherri said...

Hmmm.... I think I might like the naughty list. The toys are better. :D

angel, jr. said...

LOL!! Nice!!

Anonymous said...

I've been on the 'naughty' list before the only problem I had was that the little elf did not include batteries!! Do you know how hard it is to get batteries on Christmas day?? especially here in the sticks!! (but now I keep a variety of sizes in the cupboard...I mean batteries!)

:P fuzzbox said...

pissy: I suppose the muse was smiling upon me. I am glad that you liked it.

gerald: Brandy would make a good name for a sex toy elf.

ben: Nope that was me. Angry Joyce sends her compliments.

vic: Figgered you'd get a buzz off that one. ;)

pixie: Glad ya got a giggle.

:P fuzzbox said...

phoenix: It is a list that I stay on.

cz: I like that. The 'need to be naughty list' sounds like a list that needs to be made.

weirdgirl: I have always thought that Santa is the one Peeping Tom that no one ever minds. Why shouldn't he make special deliveries to those that I enjoys viewing.

starbender: I would love one but I can't get Angry Joyce to slip into the costume.

lolly: Hopefully with mistletoe on them. Special Delivery perhaps?

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: Either that or you have a new admirer. Either way it's a win win situation.

lisa: Better believe it.

sherri: But the batteries don't last as long.

angel: And the pic of Jenny McCarthy's just icing on the cake.

ol' lady: Now that's phunny!!!

Anonymous said...

hey fuzz
what a cute little puppy!
can Santa bring me morning wood??

I use the bunny batteries-they keep going and going....

Bruce said...

Sex? What's that?

Paige Burns said...

Does that mean Santa is really Jim Carrey?

April said...


SHE needs to be a HE.


:P fuzzbox said...

ez: I had to do a double take. There is a pooch in the pic.

bruce: Something done between a person and a consenting hand.

paige: Or is Mrs. Claus really Mary Carey?

april: It would work either way.

writer chick said...

what I want to know is if there is a male version of this elf and if it's too late to order him?

:P fuzzbox said...

wc: I hope you found yourself one.