Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Old Mrs. Murphy


The Medic-Alert Dispatcher received the call.
'Mrs. Murphy, are you hurt? Did you fall.'
'Ohh God, Ohh Jesus, Ohh Yes,' was the only reply.
So the dispatcher called the ambulance and told them to fly.

The ambulance drivers called through the door.
'Are you hurt, can you get off the floor.'
With the screams and the moans of a woman in pain,
The drivers busted the door for entrance to gain.

What they saw there made them gasp and groan
Old Man Withers had Mrs. Murphy bent over and was driving his bone.
Her ass in the air as she give it a wiggle.
Even her moles were giving a jiggle.

Her in stockings and garter.
Him with an oversized goiter.
To the drivers it seemed like the ultimate folly,
But the old timers seemed to be getting their jollies.

Their hearing aids out they heard not a peep.
So the drivers backed out at the quietest creep.
This tale could have been different on a different tack,
The surprise could have given the seniors a heart attack.

So for safety's sake, here's a word to your granny.
Before getting jiggy, with your naked ass fanny.
Keep your Medic-Alert bracelet on the bed post and handy.
Not on your wrist, things get wild when the old folks get randy.

28 comments:

writer chick said...

Oh Jeez Fuzzy! I'm choking I'm laughing so hard.
WC

Anonymous said...

This one is GREAT!

There is hope for old age!

Mimi said...

Reminds me of the time I called 911 for my grandmother. Her cats knocked over the phone and hit redial. All I heard was her groaning. Turned out she was on the pot!

Anonymous said...

Must...resisit...urge to puke...

BBBBLLLLLEEEEEAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!

David Amulet said...

This is an image that will be in my head all day. Great. Thanks a lot, Fuzz.

-- david

Curare_Z said...

LOL. I gotta say this is one of my favorites! But NOT for the visuals it conjures *shudders*. :-)

Crazy Dan said...

Makes me think of those naked pictures of B. Arthur.

Bruce said...

OK, that picture is not safe for early morning viewing. Thankfully, I saw a couple of HNT pics, first.

Paige Burns said...

LMAO!

Anonymous said...

Too funny :)

The Phoenix said...

I wonder if she gave him a gum job.

Phats said...

My grandma had one of those, but she accidentally hit it one day and an ambulance showed up and she stopped wearing it.

Catch said...

Oh baby...lets get jiggy with it!

:P fuzzbox said...

wc: Don't hurt yourself.

andie: Hope springs eternal.

mimi: It's bound to happen.

gerald: Sorry 'bout that.

david: You are more than welcome.

:P fuzzbox said...

cz: But the visuals are the best parts.

cd: I gotta get aholt of those.

bruce: I have used this pic before but I was finally able to get blogger to use the gif in all it's glory.

paige: Thank ya, darlin'.

:P fuzzbox said...

ol' lady: Glad ya liked it.

phoenix: A gummer a day saves a dose of viagra.

phats: I hope she wasn't doing anything embarrassing.

catch: ;)

Phats said...

just laundry! she was fully clothed

Ben Heller said...

Great poetry, great story !

ozymandiaz said...

You, sir, are an unparalleled talent. Not only for your deft rhyming skills and superb syntax, but for your thoroughly disturbing visions...

LisaBinDaCity said...

Awesome advice and absolutely hilarious!

Anonymous said...

phunny fuzz-granny gettin her groove on-even old folks has to get a nut once in a while or we gets a sour puss! 8)

Sherri said...

Funny, funny, funny!! I'm literally laughing out loud at my desk, my coworkers are staring!

:P fuzzbox said...

phats: Cool. Nothing nasty about laundry unless she was giving the washer a ride on the spin cycle.

ben: Thanks!!!

ozy: No higher compliment can be given. I appreciate that.

lisa: Thanks, darlin'. Glad ya liked it.

ez: Yep, so true.

sherri: Stick your tongue out at them for me.

Lolly said...

Wow, you're quite the poet!

:P fuzzbox said...

Thanks Lolly. I appreciate that.

yellowdog granny said...

makes me think of the grannie in playboy...

tsduff said...

You have got a handle on those medic alerts.. ha ha ha very well put ~grins~

:P fuzzbox said...

granny: I loved those cartoons.

terry: Thanks!!!