Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Inmate Greeting Cards


Soon To Be Sold At Quality Prison Commisary's Everywhere. Here a few sample greetings.

*****
So I don't get raped in the poke.
Could you send a pack of smokes.
*****
My dear, I love you so.
Thanks for suitcasing that gram of blow.
*****
When I get a case of the droops,
I open up a package of soup.
Thanks for putting money on my commissary.
*****
The mattress is thin and the food is hell.
Life sucks at the county jail.
But here is a little birthday cheer.
Be thankful that you aren't here.
*****
I'm sorry that love hurts.
Thanks for being my prison bitch.
*****
I may be a prisoner of love.
But next cavity check could you lube your glove.
*****
Say hello to all my kin.
The judge just gave me five to ten.
*****
Thanks for sending me that pic of you at the ocean.
It comes in handy with a bottle of lotion.
*****
I knew that it would be tough behind bars of steel.
But I never thought that you would run off with my brother, Bill.
*****

Wonder what the pic has in common with the post. Check this out.

*********************

BTW, Go to Sar's and vote for me. Woo Hoo. One of my captions was finally nominated.

17 comments:

Mimi said...

Oh boy I am 1st!~

You are too good to let your talent pass. You should set up a little both in a prison chow hall and sell these yourself.

Mimi said...

shit! I meant booth!^

oldfartswife said...

hey fuzz ya gonna buy AJ a little something with that extra pocket change?
I am such a pisser and moaner today, I have a "few" family members serving time, what is the diff between a redneck and a hilljack? I come from a mixed breed bless my heart!

The Phoenix said...

The "prison bitch" thank you card is my favorite.

pure evyl said...

My prison bitch will love that card.

Catch said...

Oh Fuzz, its so good to have you back. And I see you are still doing poetry! My son is a corrections officer...I want him to read this. lol. Im gonna go vote for you now! You be a good boy!

Catch said...

ummmm, I hate to sound like a dumbass but how do I vote?

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: Thanks.

old fart's wife: I have relatives on both sides of the bars.

phoenix: Mine too.

pure evyl: What's his favorite jelly?

catch: Give your son my best. It isn't an easy job. And just click on the sidebar, once at her site.

angel, jr. said...

I bet the "love hurts" one will be a big hit.

Paige Burns said...

LOL, super funny. I found myself on the last one saying "beel"...ha ha.

Leigh said...

That was funny!! Thanks for the giggle.

Have a good day.

tsduff said...

Way to go Fuzz = to be nominated on SAR's is quite the phenomenal accomplishment!!!

Funny prison sayings too :-)

:P fuzzbox said...

angel, jr: What can you say for the man that does it all?

paige: That one was just my little homage to the great one, Springer.

leigh: You are very welcome. It's good to see you around. You never fail to brighten my day. Don't let stuff get you down.

terry: Ain't it though. I have been trying forever it seems. Even if I get my pants beat off, it is an honor just to be nominated.

Keshi said...

**Thanks for sending me that pic of you at the ocean.
It comes in handy with a bottle of lotion.


LOL!

Keshi.

writer chick said...

You and Hallmark oughta hook up.
I tried to vote but it seems the voting is closed or I'm too dumb to figure it out. ;)
WC

phlegmfatale said...

Actually, weirdly, that is one of the better prison art things I've seen. They usually have some physically impossible wonky proportion on limbs and where they join to the body. It's not perfect, but it's better than most, I say. Love the greeting card messages, for when you care enough to send the very breast.

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: It is a little sappy though. ;)

wc: I lost but it was something to just be nominated.

phlegmmy: Some of the art on the site is great. This one appealed to me particularly.