Thursday, September 14, 2006

Kiss My Ass: Quikie Stop Wannabe's


Wednesday Morning while stopping at the convenience store on my happy assed way to work, I was bombarded by the sonic boom of rap being played to the maximum output of a cheap ass boombox. I went to the store to refill my coke and grab a pack of smokes. I did not go to the store to hear some scruffy, baggy pants hanging off his ass, gangsta wannabe dickweed rapping about how they wanted to hit it with some ho with a big bouncy ass. If I wanted to listen to that fucking shit then I would steal an album of that crap my damned self.

So to those motherfuckin' asshole convenience store workers that can't live through the day without listening to this infernal racket then for God's sake buy a pair of fucking headphones. There is no damned sense in making the public at large suffer just because you have a shitty assed taste in music. And while you are at it buy a fucking clue, steal a personality, and pull your head out of your ass!!!

38 comments:

:P fuzzbox said...

Thanks Big D!

Vic said...

So, I assume that means your convenience store workers can speak English and don't have a cell phone stuck in their ear? And what was that about a big bouncy ass? Just for the record, I'd sell my soul for an ass like one of the chics in your picture up there.

Bruce said...

Word up, yo...

Pixie said...

Its no worse then the idiots who drive by you in their "rides" with the bass so loud the ground vibrates. GRRR

Phats said...

HAHAHAHA I love this blog it makes me laugh all the time.

I hate that music too

Keshi said...

some vocabulary there LOL!

Keshi.

Catch said...

good one Fuzz.....I dont like hearing that shit either...and do you really think men like those great big booties?? Some of those women could carry a six pack of beer on their ass...I see those women on tv braggin about their bootilicious asses.....damn thing is the size of a small country!

yellowdog granny said...

am i the only psycho? i would have reached across and switched that shit off and bipped him upside the head for good measure...but then my ass is 3 times the size of them skinny bitches...so i can get away with being psycho...

LisaBinDaCity said...

Ugh.

And not to defend those guys, but I think it's really hard to find good help at convenience stores. All those robberies and stuff like that is kind of a deterrent ;-)

Curare_Z said...

You forgot, "and pull your damn pants up, no one wants to see your ugly-ass-shoulda-been-washed-two-days-ago boxers." ;-)

Here it's like Vic said...convenience store workers don't speak much English other than, "are you going to buy that?"

Ol' Lady said...

fuzzbox - we all have dreams...and those dumb assed convenience store workers, they have dreams also...like one day to join the human race and get a job in the real world. I wonder if there is somewhere where there is 'open season' on these jerks?????

michaelm said...

Oh, Fuzz...
I shouldn't be having these feelings for another man. :)
Great post. You know where I stand on this issue.
Rap = Bad Poetry
End of story.

~m

oldfartswife said...

hey fuzz
this doesn't sound like you-
but I agree with what was said.
Somebody should pull up the little bastards pants, wipe his nose, and kick his little boombox ass.

Big D said...

I'll tell you you can kiss my ass, Rockstar Supernova! Lucas over Dilana? I guess you can't hear with your head stuck up your arse! Oh well this band has a self life of 2 years. Hell, I'll be suprised if they finish the tour.

Jenna Howard said...

Yo! The hommies had it goin' on!

Bad enough I have to listen to the crap ass music but the jeans! Hike them up! It always amuses me to watch the penguin walk with their their knees sticking out to keep the jeans from falling down. It's called...a belt.

And they need their heads in their asses to keep those jeans up.

Jamie Dawn said...

I have NO appreciation for that hideous music either.
I just don't hear any real talent in it.
I am being truthful when I say this:
I'd rather listen to mariachi music than that stuff.
Rap musica es muy mala!

Bruce said...

Big D- Those mooks are going to regret not choosing Dilana. She has more talent in her little finger than Lukas has in his entire Flock of Seagulls wannabe body.

Green Eyes said...

Fuzz, YEE HAW! I hate when they wear their pants down on their thighs. I will NEVER get that one!

As far as Supernova... Looks like Dilana is in a MUCH better position now that there's an injunction. I'd be thanking the powers to be if I were her!

Mimi said...

Amen ta dat brotha!;)

I can't stand that kind of music. I like a few raps songs like 50 Cent In Da Club. But I hate the slap the bitch, fuck the hoe shit, which is most of rap music anymore. And I hate the punks who drive around in their pimped up cars and speakers that can be heard on the moon. Those guys need to spend that money on getting out of their mommas house.

David Amulet said...

Jamie: You're discoutning the artistic genius of mariachi rap.

-- david

:P fuzzbox said...

vic: Cool pic huh.

bruce: Word to your mother.

pixie: I was going to give a shout out to those fucktards as well. Thanks for doing it for me.

phats: You'll never see a marching band doing it. Or a good one at least.

keshi: I do try.

catch: Sometimes bigger isn't better.

:P fuzzbox said...

granny: It was a female worker and I was raised never to raise a hand to a woman. But she could have used a kick in the ass I suppose.

lisa: That is a deterrent. That's for sure.

cz: And when their boxers drag as well it adds insult to injury.

ol' lady: Well it least they are working. That's something.

michael: Luv ya mean it. :) It is a good thing that I am a confirmed heterosexual.

old fart's wife: I guess that I am mellowing in my old age. ;)

:P fuzzbox said...

big d: It was just like last year. It reminds me of vote for the worst.

jenna: Good point!

jamie: Que lastima!

bruce: That is hitting the nail on the head.

green eyes: I haven't heard about the injunction. I will have to play catchup.

mimi: Rap hasn't been worth a shit since it turned into all this slap da ho shit. It needs to die a violent disco type death.

david: I am a straight up tejano man myself.

writer chick said...

I may be mistaken but isn't this the kind of music our military used to 'torture' the terrorists at Gitmo? Makes you think...don't it?
WC ;)

starbender said...

Thanx Fuzz!
I HATE that F'n MUSIC!!!
:o

Johnny Wadd said...

I'd love to read your post, but damn that pic is nice.

Phats said...

So fuzz
YOu go to the texas tech games? and what did you think of the finale? I kind of felt bad for Erika when they showed the clips of jackass calling her a ho

Ben Heller said...

I just can't see what is attractive to girls when these guys have the crotch of their pants down by their knees. I always wonder what would happen if they ran anywhere. Chasing girls must be difficult in those pants.

ozymandiaz said...

Gee, i dunno, sounds like a cool song to me...
maybe that could be your next poem...

Paige Burns said...

Ugh, I have to deal with kids that wear their pants like that at work, makes me more insane than I already am.

I try to stick to QuickTrip around here, they actually are clean on the inside and have nice employees, in fact, almost too nice, they're like the Chick-fil-A of convience stores... *shudders at the creepy factor*

tsduff said...

That music has no class.

I was voting for the Icelander.

tubawench said...

I almost had to pants some young fella at the club last night. His jeans were huggin' around the middle of his ass and I could see his gray briefs. I wanted so bad to pull them down around his knees while he was on the dance floor, but I resisted. And rap was good back in my high school days when it actually took some skill to put together some words and rhythm. The guys at my school could ad lib some cool shit in the back of the band room. Of course, they were musicians all the way. And back then it wasn't just beat yo' bitch and let's fuck songs. It was about life, serious and not. And I have no desire to be assaulted by anyone's music at full blast volume.

:P fuzzbox said...

wc: Was it rap or Barry Manilow? Either way it is pretty cruel and unusual.

starbender: You are very welcome.

johnny: What did you think about the license plate?

phats: I haven't been to a game in a long while. I used to go regularly but now I just catch it on the tube or radio. I now work on Saturdays so it makes it tough.

I thought Erica got treated a little bad but it was entertaining.

ben: I am sure police officers are thankful for the pants style. Criminals must be easier to catch.

ozy: I don't know. Perhaps I could try a rap style post. It might be amusing.

paige: That is as creepy as a Wal-Mart cheer squad.

terry: Magni was good. I am sure he will get an album deal.

tubawench: I am with you. It is just not the same.

jane said...

I most definately wouldn't return to that store. One good law we have here is for noise. If you can hear someone's music from their car (I don't know about store, lol) they can get ticketed and do.

Gerald Ford said...

Sometimes even the headphones don't work. Whilst riding the bus, I often get some "dope fly fresh O.G." with headphones that are too loud. Or I get "America's Next Rockstar" doing the same. :(

I just turn up the ol' iPod even louder to block them out. The doctor says my hearing won't come back. ;p

:P fuzzbox said...

jane: That is a very good law.

gerald: Huh, what's that? To many concerts I guess. I can't hear shit.

Jim said...

I have a friend you maintains you can tell who is at the very bottom of the social/economic ladder in the U.S. by who is woring at the all-night Texaco (Chevron) stations in Dallas.

:P fuzzbox said...

That would probably be a correct supposition. They may rank slightly ahead of jizzmoppers though.