Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The Hole


Tom was an inmate in Cell Block A.
Passing time playing checkers with his cellie Jose.
He never caused trouble not even once.
The hole sucked hard and he wasn't a dunce.

But one day it happened and his rage did break free.
He caught Jose in the shower with his brand new Fifi.
After beating Jose half to death ( which was his goal)
He was unceremoniously chunked in the hole.

He will miss all his buddies on Cell Block A
He will miss his smokes and the checkers to play.
But most of all, he will miss his Fifi
And the times shared in Shower Stall Three.

Just a plain plastic bag, warm water, and a splash of shampoo.
Depending on how hard he squeezed, It was always fresh and new.
Now what can he do for his daily bit of joy,
Without the aid of his favorite toy?

With his head on his hands as he sat on his cot,
He came up with the most delightful thought.
When lunch rolled around his new love would be
A small dab of spit and a warm slice of balogney.

21 comments:

:P fuzzbox said...

For all the grammer nazis, I know that it is spelled bologna. But I call it poetic license.

Catch said...

lol Fuzz....I may never eat baloney again...

yellowdog granny said...

all i can think of is damn .....im glad i eat my fried balogna with mustard and not mayo.....

Cheryl said...

Thats a load of old baloney,
or a load on cold balogney...

Ben said...

I want to know how you speak so eloquently about these issues Fuzz ?

Lol don't worry, I won't stir the salami about your time in stir with a 2' salami.

Ol' Lady said...

Thanks fuzzbox, now I have to find something different to pack in Baby's lunch today...I just can't make a bologna sandwich and put it in a plastic bag. Dam, now I'm going to have to be creative.

starbender said...

Ewwwwwwwwww...........
Bologna has fallen from the food chain!!!
:o

Mike said...

At least he's not using a hot dog somewhere else!

Sugardaddy said...

so we can assume for poetic purposes his new love is Toni?

Paige Burns said...

That's just wrong. LMAO

Pixie said...

EWWWWW.
I will never look at balogney the same way again( and incidently I have just been handling some for Wp's lunch)

Sherri said...

You have totally tainted bologna for me.... Ack!

BTW - I changed my blog address, I'm still out there if you still want to read, sorry for any inconviences.

Mimi said...

They eat better than bologna in prison. Well except in Texas. At least one state has it right.

writer chick said...

Men are so creative...I couldn't have made that connection in a million years. LOL.
WC

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: It's made from lips and assholes anyway so it's just as well.

granny: Or it's crazee tastee in an omelette.

cheryl: But it can always be nuked to a hot treat. ;)

ben: Shhhhh.

ol' lady: Sorry 'bout that.

:P fuzzbox said...

starbender: It was pretty low on there anyway.

mike: Or how 'bout that jelly?

sugardaddy: Or O-s-c-a-r.

paige: I suppose he could sing,'If loving you is wrong. I don't want to be right.

:P fuzzbox said...

pixie: Now that's phunny.

sherri: Sorry 'bout that. I was wondering what happened to you. I will change my blogroll.

mimi: Actually bologna would be a step up from most cold cuts Texas prisoners get. It is turkey part bologna with the moniker of rhino butt.

wc: I will say thank you for my whole gender.

Keshi said...

EWWWWWWWW!

Keshi.

michaelm said...

Boloney for the flesh pony...
Poetic, culinary and creative.

~m

ozymandiaz said...

Ah, Fuzz, the depths of depravity to which you have fallen...
I LOVE IT!

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: :)

michael: 'Baloney for the flesh pony.' I do believe you have the makings of a first rate twisted poet.

ozy: I thank you for that glowing report. My depravity is growing daily.