Thursday, September 15, 2005
The Wit (and Wisdom?) of Crazy Christine
Crazy Christine has moved from Angry Joyce's and my life after her divorce and subsequent relocation from our area but no amount of time can make me forget her. Many is the morning when I came home from work and saw her golfcart pulled up in my front yard. I would walk into the house and there she would be, with size 40 Double D's flopping inside a pink fuzzy housecoat and her feet shod in tubesocks and a pair of mules and her spawn climbing the curtains, sucking up coffee like it was bottomless cup day at Starbucks.
As crazy as she was, she was always good for a laugh and had an uncanny knack of cutting through the bullshit and seeing people for who they really were. She detested her in-laws and could keep us in stitches for hours with tales of their stupidity and looks. Of her husbands cousins, who happened to be our neighbors, she gave the names of "Banjo Boy and the Butt-Faced Bitch" and would speak of their Annual Pilgramage to Graceland. I can think of them only as her names for them because they fit far better than their real names.
She also gave us the term for home shopping. This is where you find your in-laws away from home and take a shopping bag and raid the fridge.
Yes Crazy Christine is gone but not forgotton and as time goes by I will give out more phrases and sayings of hers along with the Sages.