Last week a South African scientest unveiled her latest invention, an anti-rape condom. It is inserted by the woman like a tampon and when some asshole rapist inserts his penis, his pecker is sheathed in unremovable hooks. The only way to get their cock free is to have the device surgically removed. Damned fine idea but the sissy liberals at the ACLU would never allow this shit here. It would have come in handy for all those looting, raping, waste-of-cums who took advantage of the situation after Katrina hit.
Recently a man set a record by being the only man to cannonball himself from one country to another by shooting himself from Tijuana to San Diego. If he really wanted to be a daredevil he would have shot himself from Laredo to Nuevo Laredo and dodged all of the Mexican drug cartel bullets.
Idea of the week: Since I am always coming up with money making schemes that only work for others, I figured that I'd just give this one away. An edible sex lube named Phuckers. With the tagline, "With a name like Phuckers, It's gotta be good."