Monday, September 12, 2005

Random Thoughts

Last week in the Ninjang province of China, the city busied itself with passing laws in order to beautify the place in preperation for the upcoming Olympics. They have banned cabdrivers who are bald, have long hair, have moustaches, or wear too much makeup. In a neighboring province a local eatery was inspected due to the fact that they advertised tiger meat and tiger meat though prized in the area as promoting vigor and strength comes from an endangered animal. When confronted the proprietor came clean and explained that the meat was donkey meat soaked in tiger urine. Now I am not a tour director or anything but I would much prefer a bald cabbie than eating sweet and sour donkey marinated in tiger piss.

The average male ejaculates at 28 miles per hour. No data on how fast the average female swallows.

I thought that Monday Night Football had a high enough redneck quotient with Hank Williams Jr. doing the opening montage so why in the hell do they now do a halftime highlight show with Tim McGraw. I can only hope that he gets canned as quickly as Dennis Miller.

This is the first time I have used an anime drawing on Blugstuff. High time I suppose.


phred said...

These appear to tropical fruit punch fairies. Unable to tell if they are true greenhaired fairies.

Big D said...

You know you want to try some of that donkey meat marinated in tiger piss. You're crazy like taht. If you didn't notice I posted your links. I still think I'm forgetting something though....

phred said...

I do thank you for the post oh great blogmaster !
But, to partake of donkey meat/tiger piss would require 1/2 gal. of GOOD gin first...then maybe. You know the old saying about .. went to bed with a 10 - got up with a 2..? I have done that before. Alcohol related. Alcohol will make you do some WIERD stuff.
I am afraid to speculate what you may have forgotten.

Crazy Dan said...

Damn Phred you are too right alcohol makes you do some strange shit. Remember the time you were trashed on wild turkey and I took a dump in you mouth. Shit those pictures are still passed around at work. At anyrate I am really digging the fairy week it makes me think of lesbians for some reason.