Thursday, February 09, 2006
Just One Of Those Days
To paraphrase Fred Durst, 'It's just one of those days when you don't want to wake up. When everythings f**ked and everbody sucks. And if things keep going this way, I might have to break some f**king shit tonight.'
My day started shitty both literally and figuratively . I don't know how an ostrich shinnied up the tree that I was parked under but that is the only damn bird that I can think of that could have completely covered my windshield with crap. It is either that or my snake charming neighbor prayers have finally been answered and a plague of small shitbirds have targeted my windshield as their own personal port-a-potty.
I don't know what that freakin' bird has been eating but whatever it was it would make one hell of a sealant. My windshield washer and wipers did nothing but smear the birdshit all over my windshield. So there I am cruising down to the carwash, with my head hanging out the window so that I could see. I get to the carwash and proceed to wash off all the crap from my windshield in the freezing ass cold.
But as Bruce would say, ' Yippee Ki-Yay Motherf**ker, tomorrows Friday.' I am ready for this weekend. I am going to grab my Excaliber sword off the wall, climb up the tree, wait for that big bird, stab his ass, and bar-b-que me a damned ostrich.