Sunday, February 26, 2006

He's Back


That's right, my mullet headed neighbor has returned from a two months absence. This has been his longest hiatus from his happy home since moving here two years ago. Usually it is about a two week on and two week off type of thing but after two months I thought that maybe I had seen the last of the mullet man. I should have seen the signs coming of his return. For one thing, I haven't noticed a light on in the house in two weeks. For another thing, his Okie wife has only had one boyfriend since his absence. ( No offence intended towards any Natives or Residents of Oklahoma. As they say some of my best friends are Okies.)

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy. I so missed the 2:00 a.m. screaming matches and I had almost forgotten the excitement of flashing cop cars pulling up outside. Now I can even start receiving phone calls from family and friends who have listened to the scanner and request a blow by blow commentary.

However, there have been some changes. The mullet man has cut his hair. Perhaps he has been on some monastic retreat and cut his hair as some sort of penance. Another change he has not brought back any of the mongrels that he took on his sojourn, perhaps they were eaten in hard times at the monastery.

Is it in good taste to give a re-housewarming gift? Perhaps I could send over a five pack of beer or a get out of jail free card.

******************

If you haven't checked out my guest post at BvB. What are you waiting for?

27 comments:

Jamie said...

Ah, the wonder of having neighbors.

I had some a lot like that. They had 5 kids, and a back porch beer fridge.

But when the 10 people moved into the other half of the split house, I knew it was time to move.

After they had broken thier stereo during a fight, with a baseball bat, they used their car outside to blast music loud enough they could hear it while playing cards INSIDE their house. At 8am, 2am, 11pm, didn't matter.

I moved and now know NONE of my neighbors! LOVE IT!

cleveland said...

that reminds me of a story of when i lived in another town and had neighbors that made a living of going to larger towns and digging through rich peoples trash and and bringing the items back home and having a garge sale the funny thing is that some of the stuff was pretty nice (never bought anything though)

Ann Alsex said...

I'll trade ya. Your mullet man neighbor for my moobs man neighbor. He's just nasty. No One should have to be subjected to the sight of moobs all summer long.

Vic said...

Too funny Fuzz. My Waffle House waitress neighbor should meet your Mullet neighbor. I bet they'd make some beeeeuuuuuutiful babies!

Sherri said...

Thankfully, all of my neighbors are far enough away that I don't even see them on a day to day basis.

:P fuzzbox said...

jamie: A back porch beer fridge. I could never trust my neighbor enough to have one of those.

cleveland: If that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass.

ann: That would be nasty.

vic: At least then he could borrow her hair nets.

sherri: That would be nice. Out of sight, out of mind.

ella m. said...

So, is oklahoma the southern version of New Jersey (read: often the butt of jokes and where no wants to admit they're from there once they cross state lines)?

Ben Heller said...

Fuzz - You never know, maybe now he's got rid of the mullet he can start behaving like a human being. Fingers crossed.

Ranea said...

Stop fussing Fuzz. It sounds like Your neighbors are cheap entertainment on a saturday night:)

ozymandiaz said...

I had a mullet for a couple of years (until that inane song "achey breaky heart" tortured the airways) but didn't know that was what it was called until I had cut it aff.

The Phoenix said...

So without the mullet, wil you still call him mullet man?

Maybe rename him to mulletless man.

:P fuzzbox said...

ella: You got it. To give an example. One of the most repeated jokes that I know of regarding Oklahoma is: Do you know why Texas doesn't fall into the Gulf of Mexico? Because Oklahoma sucks.

Texan's also poke fun of Texas A&M University (Aggies). One joke that happens to poke fun of both of them is: Did you hear about the Aggie that moved to Oklahoma? He raised the I.Q. of both states.

ben: One can always hope.

ranea: Way to look at the silver lining.

ozy: I wore a bald man's mullet for years. But finally faced reality and started shaving the old noggin.

:P fuzzbox said...

phoenix: I suppose I will have to rename him. I generally refered to him as Joe Dirt. Maybe I will just drop the Joe.

Bruce said...

Ah yes, the wonderment of apartment neighbors...I once had a crack/meth dealer move in next to me for a few months. Talk about fun times...

David Amulet said...

"twas a good BvtB post, Fuzz. As for the mulleted neighbor, there are worse things.

For example, YOU could have the mullet.

-- david

:P fuzzbox said...

bruce: Aah the smell of fresh meth in the morning. Smells like .... white trash neighbors.

david: Thanks, I guess your right. I guess that there was one advantage to going bald. It forced me out of the '80's.

Denny Shane said...

I'd love to have crazy neighbors... where I live it's all filthy rich people that all lokk-a-like. blah... except the rich females, they're not bad at all.

Heather B said...

My neighbors will be the death of me, or should I say their kids.

All 14 (literally) of them.

They once threw a cement block through my back car window because I told them they couldn't ride their bike in our driveway.

I would take a mullet anyday!

siren said...

The last time I saw a mullet was when I went to Six Flags and it turned out to be Gay Pride Day...I've never seen more women with mullets in all my life.

My mom is an Okie. It's hard to explain to people in the Midwest..the best I can do is say "She fries everything".

Keshi said...

lol u sure missed ur neighbor alot didnt u Fuzzy? :)


**perhaps they were eaten in hard times at the monastery.

hahaha!

Keshi.

:P fuzzbox said...

denny: I live in somewhat of a strange neighborhood in that I border richer neighbors to one side and mullets on the other side. And here I sit in the middle basking in diversity. With the worst attributes of both some would say.

heather: 14 kids WTF are these people freaking rabbits or Fundamentalist Mormons? I think I would start spiking their water with birth control. Thanks for popping in.

siren: I hope you didn't take offense to my Okie comments. I guess everyone needs to think that someone is more redneck than they are and Okie's make a good target. And it is true when I say that I have a lot of friends north of the Red River.

keshi: Still no dogs. Maybe they escaped the barbeque pit and are now living in the wild though.

siren said...

No offense taken, fuzz :) We give my mom a hard time about it too.

You could send him some beer and maybe a gift card to Great Clips? It might keep him mullet-less for awhile.

April said...

Ah..the wonder of mullets. My hairdresser told me the other day that they were coming back.

I've never been so scared in my life...

:P fuzzbox said...

siren: Good ideas. I am glad that you were not offended.

april: That is scary. Hopefully that Achy Breaky song will not return.

Keshi said...

**Maybe they escaped the barbeque pit and are now living in the wild though

haha!

Keshi.

Shay said...

can we still call him mullet man?

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: I am an animal lover at heart.

shay: He will always be the mullet man to me. He wears it well.