Tuesday, December 20, 2005

A Day Late and A Dollar Short


Being the busy time of the year, I have gotten a little behind on my reading. Yesterday while going through the pile of newspapers beside my chair going through the usual news, I came across an article so profound that it seemed as if choirs of angels had filled the room and sang it's praises. It was an article concerning an invention that would revolutionize happiness.

In San Francisco, Scott Pinizzoto has evolutionized the toilet. The invention, The Swash, is an upscale toilet seat that converts the ordinary toilet into a bidet. And not just a run of the mill bidet for the Swash not only cleanses with warm water but the upscale versions of the Swash features a warming seat, a warm-air dryer, and a REMOTE CONTROL. Retailing for only $429 to $549, it seemed like a steal.

I rushed to tell Angry Joyce that I had found the perfect Christmas gift for her to give me. I outlined the article to her but one look into her now icy blue eyes let me know that my hopes and dreams were to be dashed once more. She stated that she had already gotten me a gift and if I bought this miracle invention the only time anyone else would see the inside of the bathroom would be when I was at work. I will not only not receive this blessing as a gift but there will be hell to pay if I purchase it myself. Perhaps I can stick one of those PayPal donation buttons on my sidebar for donations to "The Fuzzbox Fanny Fur Clean and Fluff Fund."

15 comments:

Anelize said...

Remote control, huh. This goes under the heading "what will they think of next" in my book. BTW, where do you get those luscious pinups??? Inquiring minds gotta know *eg*

Tina said...

Where do you get your pictures of the pinups and such?

Want to trade?

I've got a collection of at least 80 or so. Pinups, fantasy pics, and cartoons.

Reiki said...

I think it sounds like a wonderful gift idea. I cannot believe Angry Joyce would deny a man the joy of personal grooming. She must really be angry at you Fuxx.

Ann Alsex said...

How furry is your fanny, fuxxie? LOL

:P fuzzbox said...

anelize: Some surf for porn and I surf for pin-ups.

tina: I will get in touch. Thanks for the offer.

dear jane: She isn't called Angry Joyce for nuthin'.

ann: It's not long enough to cornroll but it is pretty fuzzy.

phred said...

Sorry, but the idea of squirting water up / on my ass seems to border on kinky and invasive...
Call me old fashion, but the only thing I want near or on my trap door is paper.
Do you know why a terd is tapered on one end ?
So your asshole won`t slam shut.

Laurie said...

After reading your post, I couldn't wait to read the comments. I wasn't disappointed, haha...

I think if I had one of those, I'd spend way too much time in the bathroom. Maybe that's what Angry Joyce is thinking about you?

CT said...

dude I love the hot cartoon girls!!! just a little FYI in case you didn't know... LOL...

:P fuzzbox said...

phred: I think it is cool to border on kinky. Just as long as I leave the hot wax alone.

laurie: That probably is her main concern.

ct: Thanks.

ella m. said...

If I bought one of these my love's fuzzy fanny would never leave the bathroom, except to tell his friends about it.

Though I could start charging people to use it like a carnival sideshow..."Come see the AMAZING remote control toilet! So V.I.P you won't wvven need the coke and hookers!"

Hmmmm..... I do have the money after all......must mull the possibilities

The Phoenix said...

I like the idea of the warm air dryer. I hate it when the toilet's cold...it makes concentrating on the task at difficult. Get that warm air going, that'll loosen the anus muscles.

Too much information???

angel, jr. said...

I'm not so sure I want water shooting up my anus. However, I'm thinking the warm blowing air, positioned just right might be a turn on.

:P fuzzbox said...

ella m: That is the most amazing part to me the REMOTE CONTROL. But one would have to be careful that it did not fall into the right hands. I could just imagine if one was doing their business and someone hit the warm water button at an inoppertune time.

phoenix: Nah, I border on information overload most of the time so a little more isn't going to hurt.

angel jr.: The perversion factor is definately a plus.

:P fuzzbox said...

Oh and thanks for dropping by ella. It is always nice to get someone new to comment on my drivel.

Shay said...

I've always wanted a try a Bidet - but i'm afraid it might be too fun and would make me spend far too long in the bathroom...