The Thanksgiving leftovers are history so the silly season is officially started. In order to get the ball rolling and to insure that Old Saint Nick doesn't give me the shaft this year. I thought that I would go ahead and make up an early Christmas list. I can assure you that I will update the list as more stuff comes to my mind.
1. A new Tat. I still am undecided as to what to do in order to balance out my arms. I am thinking of a goth mermaid basking under a full moon. But a goth mermaid might just be a bit strange even for me.
2. A new weapon. Living in redneck America with only one handgun, one shotgun, and one rifle, I am woefully under armed.
3. New Neighbors. Although the Thanksgiving entertainment of a drunken free for all next door complete with the punctuation of a ton of gravel being thrown in the air saved me from a mundane quiet Thanksgiving. I suppose I am just never satisfied.
4. A rubber floor. If you have seen the beer commercial with the rubber floor, then you know this is a must have, if you haven't seen it then when you do you will know what I mean. It is too cool for mere words to describe.
5. Peace, love, and happiness for all of humanity or a bootleg copy of the Britney Spears sex tape. Whichever is easier for Santa to fork over.
19 comments:
"1. A new Tat. I still am undecided as to what to do in order to balance out my arms." -- I was so confused, I thought you meant to type "Cat" -- only after I read the rest of the post did I go back and figure it out.
What to get Fuzz for Christmas: I would buy you one of those rock polishing kits. West Texas is pretty much nothing but rocks, and you could put it outside and the tumbling would drive the crazy neighbors crazy.
I dont know what I want for Christmas this year....naughty girls dont always get presents ya know. I usually straighten up in time for Santa to forget that I was naughty! :))
...You have to admit Fuzz, those redneck neighbors are good fodder for blogging!
I dont know that I have ever seen a goth mermaid...Im thinkin of getting a little green frog on my foot, but am not sure I can stand the pain..lol. I cried when I got my first tattoo. Good thing I had a few beers before!
How about a goth mermaid holding a gun while having sex with Britney Spears on a rubber floor?
-- david
OMG, rubber floor...2 fuckn funny!
has fuzz been good this year?
hopefully you will get everything you listed-after all you have been working all the OT. I will watch for the rubber floor.
My mom gets my niece a different chia pet every year. My niece lines them on a shelf in her basement-when I go down there I feel these critters watchin me.
ch-ch-ch-chia
deck the halls falalala
How about Christmas Sex. Everyone deserves Christmas Sex. Or is that what the Britney Spears video is meant to encourage? :-)
The problem with a Britney sex tape is that FedEx will be in it too. Ruins the whole damn thing. Yuck.
But the rubber floor? PURE GENIUS.
I luv the rubber floor!!! I want one!!!
' ]
Damn!
A rubber floor?!?
I need one of those for my dogs!
How about one of those sling shots with a scope Big D loves his.
HAHA hmm best of luck getting these, maybe Kfed will be your new neighbor and you can get a sneak peek of the video
Yanno, us women aren't exactly gonna be burning down the barn to watch a videotape of K-Fed having sex. Things like this suck..not in a good way. ;)
jim: I had one when I was a kid. It amazed me what a cool thing rocks could be once you polished off all the crud.
catch: I thought all naughty girls had to do was to sit on Santa's lap and get anything that they wanted. Live and learn, I guess.
david: It might just work.
johnny: The commercial rules. I need one to make a cool romper room.
ez: Ya know I been good. Or at least as good as I am able.
ben: I will have to give your site a check.
cz: Christmas sex is just a given. Britney might put a person in the mood but I would think that K-Fed would ruin it.
andie: Yeh, K-Fed would probably be a downer.
starbender: I would love one but the kids would most likely drive me nuts on the damn thing.
pissy: I bet they would be a hoot on the floor.
mimi: Trust me, when you see it you will be amazed.
cd: That would be cool.
phats: Believe it or not K-Fed would be a big improvement over my current neighbors.
jane: I hear ya.
Well Fuzz I hope you get most if not all of your list there.
A goth mermaid sounds cool.
new tat, eh? how about a curvacious busting out of her kimono geisha? could add just that right touch of ethnicity and exoticness you are looking for.
the rubber floor - my company may be able to build one for you - how much money you got? ;)
WC
so, what you're saying, is that now your too old to polish your own rocks :)
here's hopin that you get what you want...I agree that you are way under armed...maybe the elves can fill your sock with lead and ink :)
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