Sunday, November 26, 2006

Making A List And Checking It Twice

The Thanksgiving leftovers are history so the silly season is officially started. In order to get the ball rolling and to insure that Old Saint Nick doesn't give me the shaft this year. I thought that I would go ahead and make up an early Christmas list. I can assure you that I will update the list as more stuff comes to my mind.

1. A new Tat. I still am undecided as to what to do in order to balance out my arms. I am thinking of a goth mermaid basking under a full moon. But a goth mermaid might just be a bit strange even for me.

2. A new weapon. Living in redneck America with only one handgun, one shotgun, and one rifle, I am woefully under armed.

3. New Neighbors. Although the Thanksgiving entertainment of a drunken free for all next door complete with the punctuation of a ton of gravel being thrown in the air saved me from a mundane quiet Thanksgiving. I suppose I am just never satisfied.

4. A rubber floor. If you have seen the beer commercial with the rubber floor, then you know this is a must have, if you haven't seen it then when you do you will know what I mean. It is too cool for mere words to describe.

5. Peace, love, and happiness for all of humanity or a bootleg copy of the Britney Spears sex tape. Whichever is easier for Santa to fork over.


Jim said...

"1. A new Tat. I still am undecided as to what to do in order to balance out my arms." -- I was so confused, I thought you meant to type "Cat" -- only after I read the rest of the post did I go back and figure it out.

What to get Fuzz for Christmas: I would buy you one of those rock polishing kits. West Texas is pretty much nothing but rocks, and you could put it outside and the tumbling would drive the crazy neighbors crazy.

Catch said...

I dont know what I want for Christmas this year....naughty girls dont always get presents ya know. I usually straighten up in time for Santa to forget that I was naughty! :))

...You have to admit Fuzz, those redneck neighbors are good fodder for blogging!

I dont know that I have ever seen a goth mermaid...Im thinkin of getting a little green frog on my foot, but am not sure I can stand the I cried when I got my first tattoo. Good thing I had a few beers before!

David Amulet said...

How about a goth mermaid holding a gun while having sex with Britney Spears on a rubber floor?

-- david

Johnny Wadd said...

OMG, rubber floor...2 fuckn funny!

Anonymous said...

has fuzz been good this year?
hopefully you will get everything you listed-after all you have been working all the OT. I will watch for the rubber floor.
My mom gets my niece a different chia pet every year. My niece lines them on a shelf in her basement-when I go down there I feel these critters watchin me.
deck the halls falalala

Ben Heller said...

I'd like a rubber floor for christmas too Fuzz. Quick to clean up any fluids, and I've always liked the smell.

Perverse ? Probably.

BTW Fuzz. I've got a newish blog that I post at frequently.

Curare_Z said...

How about Christmas Sex. Everyone deserves Christmas Sex. Or is that what the Britney Spears video is meant to encourage? :-)

Anonymous said...

The problem with a Britney sex tape is that FedEx will be in it too. Ruins the whole damn thing. Yuck.

But the rubber floor? PURE GENIUS.

starbender said...

I luv the rubber floor!!! I want one!!!
' ]

Big Pissy said...


A rubber floor?!?

I need one of those for my dogs!

Mimi said...

I like the goth mermaid idea. You can name her Joyce.

I have not seen the commercial but a rubber floor would be pretty cool.

Crazy Dan said...

How about one of those sling shots with a scope Big D loves his.

Phats said...

HAHA hmm best of luck getting these, maybe Kfed will be your new neighbor and you can get a sneak peek of the video

jane said...

Yanno, us women aren't exactly gonna be burning down the barn to watch a videotape of K-Fed having sex. Things like this suck..not in a good way. ;)

:P fuzzbox said...

jim: I had one when I was a kid. It amazed me what a cool thing rocks could be once you polished off all the crud.

catch: I thought all naughty girls had to do was to sit on Santa's lap and get anything that they wanted. Live and learn, I guess.

david: It might just work.

johnny: The commercial rules. I need one to make a cool romper room.

ez: Ya know I been good. Or at least as good as I am able.

:P fuzzbox said...

ben: I will have to give your site a check.

cz: Christmas sex is just a given. Britney might put a person in the mood but I would think that K-Fed would ruin it.

andie: Yeh, K-Fed would probably be a downer.

starbender: I would love one but the kids would most likely drive me nuts on the damn thing.

pissy: I bet they would be a hoot on the floor.

:P fuzzbox said...

mimi: Trust me, when you see it you will be amazed.

cd: That would be cool.

phats: Believe it or not K-Fed would be a big improvement over my current neighbors.

jane: I hear ya.

Pixie said...

Well Fuzz I hope you get most if not all of your list there.
A goth mermaid sounds cool.

writer chick said...

new tat, eh? how about a curvacious busting out of her kimono geisha? could add just that right touch of ethnicity and exoticness you are looking for.

the rubber floor - my company may be able to build one for you - how much money you got? ;)


Jim said...

so, what you're saying, is that now your too old to polish your own rocks :)

Anonymous said...

here's hopin that you get what you want...I agree that you are way under armed...maybe the elves can fill your sock with lead and ink :)