Monday, January 02, 2006

I Need Pancakes



Yesterday while driving down the road, I listened to an ad for Durex condoms. It seems amazing to me that only a few short years ago condom ads on radio and tv were a no-no. When ads for condoms first appeared they were only informational spots warning against unwanted pregnancies and STD's. Now they have opened up to the truly distasteful Trojan Man ads and these new ads from Durex.

The Durex ads work by comparing regular sex to sex using Durex condoms. In one spot the announcer gives the floor to a scientific sounding voice who procalaims, 'After regular sex the female of the species kicks the male out of the nest', this is followed by the sound effect of a kick and then a moan that accompanies a crash. The announcer then gives the floor back to the scientific sounding voice once more as he states, 'After sex with Durex brand condoms, the female rises and fixes the male pancakes. Then cut to a guy saying, 'Mmm maple syrup.'

Eventhough Angry Joyce underwent tubal litigation after the birth of our son, I am seriously considering buying some of these condoms. I love pancakes and I cannot remember the last time that Angry Joyce made me pancakes for any reason. Mmmm maple syrup.

25 comments:

The Phoenix said...

I love how commercials like that are SO realistic. Like the one where the guy rents a car through Enterprise Rent-A-Car for his 10 year high school reunion...and at the reunion he has a hot babe on each arm because of it.

Rocky said...

Maybe you should change your blog name to Hungry Jack? Best of luck scoring those pancakes (after scoring with Angry Joyce that is).

Crazy Dan said...

I don't think that would be a wise idea.

My word verification was bong is that wild or what it must be a sign on how to get pancakes.

David Amulet said...

I find it ironic that condom ads (as well as spots for Viagra, etc.) have become more and more explicit even as the FCC has become more draconian with speech on radio and TV. It's easier to make racy comments about sex in ads than it is on a late-night humor show.

--david

phred said...

Ahhh, isn`t technology great ?
Time was , when people used goat gut for protection..

:P fuzzbox said...

phoenix: It seems that the more unrealistic the ad, the more people are apt to feel that it is believable. I was looking at Snopes.com the other day and they were having to tell people that the blip of video from the Toyota commercial where the truck was hit with a meteor was only an ad.

rocky: Still haven't managed to score the pancakes but I am working on it.

cd: bong is that wild. Those word verifacation gnomes are psychic.

david: It's a sick and twisted world alright. Howard Stern kicked to the curb while pre-teens walk around singing Trojan Man.

phred: Yes it is something. Now no goats have to be sacrificed for safe sex. What a bright new shining world.

Laurie said...

My motto:

Want breakfast in bed?
Sleep on the kitchen floor. And then ya better do a lot more than wear a stupid condom to get me to actually cook something.

Sheesh. The ad guys that write these things don't live with a real woman, I guess...

The Phoenix said...

You mean the meteor WASN'T real???

Sleep on the kitchen floor! Laurie, that's funny as hell.

Reading your post, Fuzz, I came up with a great idea for an invention. Maple syrup flavored condoms!

Rocky said...

Hey, maybe Phoenix is on to something. LOG CABIN would be a good name for a condom.

We could also see a commercial featuring an orgy. Two guys reach inside a box of condoms and both grab the same package. "Leggo my Eggo!" they could shriek.

Also, I hear Miss Butterworths' syrup tastes deliciuos.

Ben O. said...

Come to think of it . . . I could go for some pancakes about now.

Anyone else out there eat'em with peanutbutter?

I'm just askin'

Ben O.

Metal Mark said...

Log Cabin might also be a good name for a laxative.

Reiki said...

maybe they were using the maple syrup for lubrication with the condoms?

:P fuzzbox said...

laurie: That's a good saying. Phunny and a bit mean, I like it.

phoenix and rocky: Good idea and what goes better with pancakes and syrup. Butter because everything is better with Bluebonnet on it.

ben: Occasionally I will mix syrup with peanut butter. I got that tip from my father-in-law.

metal mark: It would and would also be a good theme for bathroom decor.

dear jane: Like rock candy. Hard Sweet and Sticky. Sorry but I have had that tune in my head all day.

Ann Alsex said...

Whew, what a comment section. From condoms to peanut butter on pancakes to sticking your pecker in butter. Crazy!!!

angel, jr. said...

Do you think if I used the ribbed version of the condom, I would get bacon/sausage with the pancakes?

ella m. said...

By that commercial's logic, the Durex version of the "for her pleasure" condom should include someone coming to clean up the kitchen and do the dishes after the pancakes....

phred said...

I thought '' clean-up '' was the womans responsibility ??

:P fuzzbox said...

ann: It is a bit wild how things can go from one subject to another.

angel jr: Worth a shot.

ella: I always thought doing the dishes was considered foreplay.

phred: I will let you deal with the hate mail on that one.

Naiad said...

I like the syrup more than I like pancakes, is that weird?

:P fuzzbox said...

naiad: The syrup is the best part.

Shay said...

but what do i use to have pancakes made for me?

:P fuzzbox said...

shay, from reading your blog, I would have to say just ask and ye shall receive.

.: raven :. said...

lol

thebluestbutterfly said...

Did you try asking Angry Joyce to make you pancakes???

:P fuzzbox said...

raven: Thanks!

butterfly: I asked and would rather not humiliate myself by giving her response.