Monday, January 09, 2006

Weird Weather, Weird Science


The weather here in West Texas has been unseasonably warm during the days. I was talking to a local rancher this weekend who said that he had killed a rattlesnake last week. He said that the rattler was so cold and stiff that he could not coil itself up to strike.

This reminded me of a story from years ago. A friend of mine and myself were heading down a dirt road after an early and unexpected freeze. A rattlesnake was laying in the road frozen stiff as a board. I got out of the truck and chunked him in the back. Upon arriving at my friends shop, we threw him in a five gallon bucket in front of a space heater. We wondered if the frozen snake would still live after he heated up. Sure enough after he had thawed out, we had one pissed off snake in a bucket.

Being of scientific minds, we decided that we would further experiment with the snake. As we were smoking some medicinal herbs, we decided to see if the smoke would calm the savage reptilian beast. We customized a lid with a hose attached to the top. Then we took turns expelling the smoke from the medicinal herb which we smoked from a water pipe into the bucket. When we felt that the atmosphere inside the bucket was sufficient for our purposes, we fashioned a stopper on the hose for the retention of the buckets atmosphere ( that and we could not handle any more of the medicinal herb).

The results of our experimentation were simply that if a rattlesnake is frozen or sufficiently medicated, he would make an excellant housepet. But the amount of medicinal herb would be staggering as the effect on the snake was short lived and he was back to being pissed off long before the effect wore out on us. So if you want a pet rattlesnake, I would advise keeping him frozen.

14 comments:

Anelize said...

LOL! Frozen?! At least ya'll got him high to compensate for that weird burny feeling you get when you're thawing out....

This was a great story, BTW!

angel, jr. said...

Medicated and frozen? That's why the snake was so pissed.

starbender said...

Hahaa! That is priceless!
If I get weird and pissed off, could U blow some of that Texas Medicinal Smoke MY WAY?
:o

Laurie said...

That's the funniest damn thing I have heard in ages!!!

Omigod, I'm dying here... hahahaha

Ann Alsex said...

I know another way to tame a snake.

:P fuzzbox said...

anelize: That is a funny feeling isn't it and we were never bogarts.

angel jr: At least he was happy for a short while.

starbender: Sadly I had to give up the practice of this homeopathic remedy a few years ago. But I still sniff the wind for it's presence at times. Thanks for dropping by.

laurie: It does put out a peculiar mental picture. Two blitzed redneck blowing smoke at a snake.

ann: I'm sure you do.

Reiki said...

fuxx, I don't know how your medicinally enhanced brain could remember such detail, but I am enjoying the mental image. thank you.

The Phoenix said...

Damn, that's like "Re-animator" and "Cheech n' Chong" along with some "Weird Science" all wrapped into one funny ass adventure.

Keshi said...

hehe not my kind of pet anyways lol!

Keshi.

.: raven :. said...

omg .. hilarious ....

are you sure you're not the guy on Myth Busters?

boa constrictors are much better pet friends ....

:P fuzzbox said...

dear jane: Memories still hanging in there. Wonders never cease.

phoenix: I figured a scientific type would appreciate that little adventure.

keshi: Thanks for dropping by. I prefer less deadly pets myself.

raven: I guess we were a little ahead of our time. I can only imagine the ratings for a program that would mix 'Jackass', 'Myth Busters', and 'The Blue Collar Comedy Tour'.

Rocky said...

Love the smoking with the snake tale! That's great! Maybe you should be a guest on the Crocodile Hunter show and smoke it up with his buddies.

thebluestbutterfly said...

Rattlesnakes are pretty much asleep during the day usually. Supposedly, you could step in their nest & they would just look at you. Makes you wonder why you always see rattlesnakes angry & out wandering during the day in westerns. It is at about dusk that rattlesnakes start hunting. Some may think that these habits would help to keep a rattle snake, but I think that there is probably little that is totally predictable about them.

Down South, they sell "rattlesnake eggs" at most souvenir shops. I am told that this is only a joke though... like putting a fake snake in peanut brittle.

:P fuzzbox said...

rocky: I was sure after watching the first episode of Croc Hunter that Steve Irwin had more in his barbie than shrimp. It would be a hoot to help him prepare for an episode with some herbal courage.

butterfly: It is true that rattlesnakes hide under a rock or other shade in the heat of the day. But if they are disturbed they get quite cantankerous. I don't know about that nesting business. I have done some snake hunting in my day and have always used gas to coax them out of their dens. Never was foolhardy enough to just reach in and grab them.