Sunday, September 30, 2007

Sick World; Happy Viewing

Warning: If you are easily offended, what the hell are you doing here? Seriously, I am going to be a tad bit more explicit than usual. You have been warned!!!

I am so glad that the new tv season is upon us. Besides Heroes, My Name is Earl, and others, one of my favorite series is back this year; Cathouse: Series Two. It's back to the Bunny Ranch one more time. The first episode dealt with three newcomers to the bordello biz. One is an old hand in the adult entertainment industry, one is a mid-western girl next door who just loves sex in all forms and guises, but I am afraid that the other new girl just isn't going to make it.

The problem isn't her looks. She is arguably the best looking of the three with long blond hair, a shapely figure, and the face of an angel. Her problem is strictly one of attitude. She is totally against oral sex. The idea of a prostitute who will not give head is just wrong. It's like going to an International House of Pancakes that doesn't serve syrup with it's pancakes. Hell, I would hazard to say that many men that go to a prostitute do it for a blow job. They might be married to some gal that when she said, I Do, meant that I no longer will.

When I was looking for a pic for the post, I went to the Bunny Ranch Website and looked for a pic of the new girl who refused to google the hoogler but I couldn't find her. (The lengths I will go to for my readers knows no boundaries.) I was amazed. Most all the girls were really good looking but it amazed me the variety of women that are available at the Bunny Ranch. It reminded me of the scene in 'From Dusk Till Dawn' when the doorman played by Cheech Marin barks out one of the most awesome movie quotes of all time, 'All right, pussy, pussy, pussy! Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we're slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy, this is a pussy blow out! All right, we got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin' pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy! Come on, you want pussy, come on in, pussy lovers! If we don't got it, you don't want it! Come on in, pussy lovers! Attention pussy shoppers! Take advantage of our penny pussy sale! If you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price, you get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny! Try and beat pussy for a penny! If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere else, fuck it!'

After writing this post and all the research that went into it, I feel like pancakes with syrup, lots and lots of sticky sweet syrup.


Catch said...

lmao....what a funny post! And you know I hate that word..pussy. yuck. lol...I dont know what the big deal is about pussy I never hear people talking about penises like that!

Penis for sale...
come one come all
long ones, short ones, fat ones
cute ones, ugly ones, fake ones,
some that will make you laugh, some that will make you cry and some that will make you puke!

you laughin yet Fuzz? lol

Red said...

*snickers* Lovin' that show.
I'll take a side of pussy, too.

eZ said...

I'm with catch on this one- how bout a shlong, or baloney pony, or tube steak, it is free, or you can pay by the inch and have 2 sides.
I really don't mind pussy, but I can't stand cats, yer talkin fuzz...just pullin yer leg-haha
take care fuzz

angel, jr. said...

Yeah, that is the best quote ever!!

The Phoenix said...

That must be a world record for the occurances of the word "pussy" in one blog post.

Andie D. said...

I've never loved the word "pussy" either, but it's better than a lot of the alternatives. Fur burger. Snatch. Pink taco. See You Next Tuesday.

Yeah, I'll take pussy.

:P fuzzbox said...

catch: Good one. At Ozfest one year I was impressed by the barker at the body painting booth. His line went something like,' We Paint Titties, we'll paint small titties, big titties, itty bitty titties, perky titties, saggy tillies, old titties, young titties. But we won't paint cocks. That's just disgusting.'

red: The sides alright but I'll take the middle any day of the week. ;)

ez: I always wondered why he didn't add goats to that montage.

angel, jr: It is a good one for sure.

phoenix: I think my blog search hits went through the roof on this one.

andie: Pussy to me sounds much better than the clinical word of vagina. That word always sounded even nastier than the crude words that describe it.

Keshi said...

which WOMAN wudnt wanna hv 'Axl Rose'...:)


Red said...

I'll agree with ya, Fuzz, I aint no fan of the word 'vagina', even though I have one. I much prefer pussy or cunt.
Just like the word 'penis' frightens me. It's cock, folks, cock.

Leigh said...

You once again have me in stiches. I do think pussy is so much better then so many other nic names people have come up with over the years.

Hope you are having a good week.

LisaBinDaCity said...

Fuzz, you're one of my favorite perv bloggers ;-)

And "Earl" is a riot!

:P fuzzbox said...

keshi: ;)

red: I agree. Penis sounds so insignificant but Cock just has such a nice strong ring to it.

leigh: It hasn't been to shabby this week.

lisa: You say the sweetest things. Nice to see you back from hiatus.

jane said...

I was wondering if that hooker is married. I mean, what else are hookers supposed to do??? What a dummy!
Hey have you heard of vaginal rejuvenation? They slice it, dice it, sew it up, lift it, you name it. Google it!

Ol' Lady said...

Why do most women take offense when someone calls them "a cocksucker"? Being that I am a married woman with a happy happy Ol Man he just smiles when someone says that...

:P fuzzbox said...

jane: I recently read a story where a woman had plastic surgery in order to 'make herself a virgin again' for an anniversary gift for her husband. All I could think of was that she blew all that money for something that he was going to bust through in three seconds. I'd settle for a decent bass boat.

ol' lady: It's good to be a happy man.

David Amulet said...

Indeed, the lengths you will go to for us. What a knight.

-- david