Sunday, September 16, 2007

I Am Always The Last To Know


Too bad I didn't run across this site, back when I had three daughters at the house. Even though I am sure that this site is satirical, bringing back a bride price has a nice ring to it for a father of three future brides. At the site, the asking prices are from around $3,000 to $80,000. With the spawn that AJ and I have unleashed on the world, I doubt I could do any better than three or four goats and a used travel trailer. But hope springs eternal and perhaps with the last one that we have at the house, I could take the cash and invest in a square watermelon farm. I believe that the American consumer would go ass over elbows for a square seedless watermelon. It wouldn't take up as much space in a cooler or a refrigerator, and just imagine how many they could stack up in one bin at a Super Wal-Mart.
This way we are not losing a daughter, we are betting the farm.

12 comments:

Phats said...

I heard ALL about this on the morning radio show I listen too, they were interviewing the publicist for the site. I was SHOCKED 14 yr olds crazy. Anyway they asked him if he agreed with this concept and he wouldn't answer but did finally say that he would never sign his daughter up for it haha funny

Gerald Ford said...

I am pretty sure the square melon racket is controlled by the Yakuza. Best be careful, Fuzz. :)

Catch said...

you know Fuzz....I do think a square watermelon would fit better in my fridge..you may have something here. I dont think people give you enough credit. ;))

phred said...

I like the square watermelon idea, but I`ll wait and see about the " Buy a Bride " thing.

Travis Erwin said...

And then how will we have watermelon seed spitting contests?

:P fuzzbox said...

phats: He is probably worried about the same thing that I am. Three goats don't go far in this day and age.

gerald: Thanks for the warning. I will tread lightly.

catch: Actually they probably give me far too much credit.

phred: We were definantly screwed on this deal.

travis: Watermelon spitting is a crude and distastful display. Besides I am much better at the cow chip tossing contests.

The Phoenix said...

I would be the first in line for a square seedless watermelon. But that's because I'm a weirdo.

eZ said...

hey fuzz
I would settle for a decent tasting watermelon this year-every one we have gotten taste like crap(chemical) or it's not ripe.
you know I am gonna try that square watermelon thing next year-
As for the bride-I think the cash parents shell out for a wedding is crazy. If it ends up in divorce the bride and groom should have to pay the parents back for the cost of the shingding-ha
what the hell is wrong with spitting watermelon seeds?
When my bro built his new home
something wierd was popping up in the sod. It was cantaloupe seedlings-seems the roofers was spitting them out in the yard-no shit this is a true story.

the weirdgirl said...

I also think the square watermelon is awesome. I think I'm another weirdo.

And please correct me if I'm wrong but I assumed the Marry My Daughter site was satirical. You're not saying that's serious?! Wouldn't CPS shut them down?

David Amulet said...

Don't put down three or four goats. They go a long way in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

-- david

:P fuzzbox said...

phoenix: We are all on the same weird boat.

ez: I have had some decent watermelons but the cantaloupe crop has left a lot to be desired.

weirdgirl: It's a joke but a damn phunny one.

david: The cost of good eating goats has gone up exponentially the past few years so it might not be that bad of a deal.

Ol' Lady said...

dam...I paid to have one of our girls married off...I seem to do many things backwards...wonder what I can get fer the last one???