I have a cold. The miserable cold that I had thought that I had killed with the usual tequila and Ny-Quil remedy has returned with a vengeance. I don't really feel that bad but I have a terrible cough. This morning I had one of those coughs that are the worst. Have you ever coughed so hard that a fart that wasn't ready to be farted was ripped from your ass and it felt that your asshole was torn apart? Yeah, it was one of those. But every cloud has a silver lining, at least I didn't shit myself. Ahh, happy day.
20 comments:
Yes I have; sometimes at inopportune times, too.
i know that feeling well...but don't tell anyone..I am a fucking lady and all that shit..
It generally happens when I sneeze. I have heard the term shart in Shallow Hal referring to a person thinking that he is going to fart and accidently shits. I suppose that if a person sneezed so loud that it ripped out a fart it would be a snart.
god I hate it when that happens!!...generally takes a day to recover...
bruce: It always seems to happen at the worst times.
granny: Mum's the word.
evyl: If a person accidently shit while sneezing would they be throwing a snit?
anonymum: Yeah, my butthole feels violated.
The word torn concerns me dear brother. When I think something has been torn I think that it has been ripped or orthwised disfigured in a pain that would cause pain. I hope that everything is fine and that no proctologist will be needed.
ewwww LOL!
Keshi.
hey fuzz
I sat by the Duchess at tea,
She asked: "Do you fart when you pee?"
I said with some wit:
"Do you belch when you shit?"
I felt it was one up for me.
Sorry your sick, you know I love a good fartifact!
No never had that, although I have had the type of coughs that make you nearly pee yourself :\
Hope you feel better soon Fuzz x
ditto to yellowdog granny :p
I am laughing so hard at your post....and EZ's comment...lmao. Why are farts so damn funny??? I dont know why but it cracks me up when someone farts unexpectedly....unless its me...lol
cd: No proctologist needed. It's a good thing with my luck, I would get some big knuckled sumbitch.
keshi: ;)
ez: Good one. I am always up for a good fart joke.
pixie: Thanks for showing me that it could be worse.
ol lady: She said it well.
mimi: Ny-Quil doesn't have it's same zing but it is still crazee tastee!!!
catch: I don't know why they are so funny. It is one of the mysteries of life.
Yes there is always the positive. Even when you are sick you manage to make me laugh, oh but wait I wasn't laughing at you, only with you.
Hope you are feeling better soon.
you're still too young to be saying "at least i didn't shit myself"
LOL - literally - though!!
Hope you feel better soon, try getting yourself a vaporizer.
Just shit myself reading.
This post should have come with complimentary toilet paper.
Laughing hysterically...
~m
The downside to this is,
you force a mighty fart through that little bitty hole at high pressure, you blister your bung hole.
It hurts.
That happens to my wife often when she sneezes. She gets these sneezing fits and she will cut one with every sneeze. It's funny as hell but also a dangerous 'cause my wife generaly has those SBDs, so sh3e starts sneezing and farting and I'm laughing and running...
Good times.
leigh: Thanks for laughing with me.
shay: Maybe a vaporizer would help. I am about up for any remedy.
michael: I have heard they made joke of the day tp. That should be my calling card.
phred: True, True.
ozy: Good times indeed.
mimi: It is an awesome taste. I hate the cherry flavored crap that they came up with. The original is the shit.
I never had the coughing up a lung, ripping out your butthole combo - but it sure sounds like rip-roaring fun! ;)
WC
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