I caught a tip on The Food Network for oatmeal lovers on the go. Alton Brown showed how to make a good batch of oatmeal while staying in a hotel. He explained how the complimentary coffee pot in hotel rooms made for a perfect oatmeal cooking contraption. First dump your instant oatmeal packet in the coffee pot along with a packet of honey and a tub of jelly. then stick an herbal tea bag in the basket, add water, and crank it up.
First, I am thinking, 'You lazy fuck. Put on some damn pants and head downstairs for the complimentary Continental Breakfast. Eat some fucking doughnuts or if you have to be a health nut, eat a bowl of Cheerio's and shut the fuck up' Next, I am thinking that if you fucked up the coffeepot by making some damned oatmeal, you are going to piss the maid off in a bad way.
I can picture her going to clean up the room and spotting the crusted up oatmeal pot. 'Damn that sum beech, I have to clean up his spunked on Kleenex and now he leaves me thees shit. I will gut that pindaho like a feesh.'
The front manager would then have to go talk to Alton and inform him that he should leave the hotel immediately. They have let Consuela off for the rest of the day but if she returns things could get hairy.
I wouldn't blame them for kicking him out. Anyone who would rather screw up a coffeepot, than eat a free doughnut deserves to sleep in his car.