Tuesday, August 21, 2007

It's Better To Get Nailed Than To Get Hammered

In Des Moines, Iowa, (Of all places), Satin Delfrano, age 32, was apprehended when three women called to complain that they had been assaulted by a naked woman with a hammer. When the police got there they allowed the naked Delfrano to get dressed and then escorted her out of her apartment in handcuffs. She tried to walk out on her knees and kicked one officer. So adding insult to injury, she has also been charged with assault on a peace officer, criminal mischief, and disorderly conduct.

This story leaves me with a few unanswered questions.

1. Who the hell would name their daughter Satin? I can only guess that they wanted to pre-ordain her to be a stripper.

2. Did she think that she could get away with it? A naked woman with a hammer sticks out like a sore thumb (much like the thumb of a clumsy carpenter).

3. Where can I get my hands on a tape of that 911 call? Three women calling in hysterics about a nude hammer wielding crazy woman would make for great entertainment.

Click here for the news story.


LisaBinDaCity said...

You're absolutely right about the name "Satin." Stripper or hooker fer sure ;-)

Mike said...

At least there's only a couple of places she could hide the evidence!

Big Pissy said...



and not just her name. ;-)

eZ said...

hey fuzz
I have a young family member named Damien Blaze-I tried to talk my niece out of it(dumbazz kid), he started first grade this week-who knows what reaction the teacher will have.
hope AJ is doing ok, who is potty training the new puppy! ha

Anonymous said...

They probably were shooting for Saten like the sheets where she was conceived. Kinda sorta like the twins named Oranjello an Lemonjello.

Catch said...

When I was in high school we had a german shepherd, his name was Satin....my Dad said if the dog didint scare them the name would! lol. Can you imagine my Mother out in the yard yelling for Satin??????

Fuzz, I love your font...still waiting to hear how you did it. Ive been sitting at this computer for 3 days now waiting....getting cobwebs on me. ;))

David Amulet said...

Maybe her family is Russian, and they just misspelled Stalin.

That would also explain the hammer, though the sickle remains missing.

-- david

Anonymous said...

Hey Fuzz! How ya been?!

In response to your first question, I have met someone named Velvet. And even a Cinnamon for that matter.

That 911 call should make the internet, good laugh there.

Green Eyes said...

Oh god, the visuals on that one! lmao

That would certainly haunt my dreams for years!

David Amulet said...

Phoenix, you, me ... all of us hit by the same anonymous fool commenter. Ugh.

-- david

:P fuzzbox said...

lisa: Has to be.

mike: That's a visual all to itself.

pissy: It is one of those stories that pack a punch. ;)

ez: The names people foist on their young 'uns. He has a tough row to hoe.

:P fuzzbox said...

sugar daddy: Bet their wiggly.

catch: I'm sorry but it has to do with going into the CSS Feed and jacking with it. It gave me a headache trying to get the explanation from Big D. I am still recovering.

david: Could be, I suppose. Anything in life is possible.

mimi: Doin' good thanks. My very first girlfriend was named Velvet. I wonder if that is part of what makes me who I am?

green eyes: I doubt you're dreams are ever haunted. ;)

david: I deleted that shit. Every few months this cut and paste paranoid schizophrenic asswhipe pulls the same shit all over the blogosphere. What a douchebag.

Ol' Lady said...

The link to the story gives me an error page :(
From your description of the story I have a question...what were the 3 women doing with the 4th for her to become naked in the first place???
Personally I have never had a few women over for coffee and one of them end up naked with a hammer...makes me wonder