Just thought that I would try to give a little Valentines Day gift giving guideline for those guys that may be a little perplexed by the whole gift giving dilemma.- While giving your significant other a pearl necklace is a great all season gift, on Valentine's Day opt for a diamond.
- While giving a cute little puppy or a fuzzy little kitty is a good pet to give for the occasion, crabs are not.
- Unless your significant other is a diabetic, do not give her sugar-free candy. Even if she normally eats only sugar-free candy, she will think you are calling her fat.
- Flowers are always a good bet but if you steal some from a cemetery remember to discard any R.I.P. cards.
- Remember re-gifting is bad and sex toys are not recyclable.
If guys would remember these few short simple rules, then we all could have a better Valentine's Day. Remember you get more nookie with a cookie but it's hard to lose with the right amount of booze.
26 comments:
I also think a gerbil would be a bad gift too.
especially a regifted one...
candy is dandy..but liquor is quicker
Candy is dandy
but sex doesnt rot your teeth!
Happy Valentines Day Fuzz!!!! Huggs!
An additional important note: Even though Valentine's Day is abbreviated VD, it is NOT appropriate to give VD on VD.
-- david
I think you have served mankind admirably, Fuzz. Great job!
Happy Valentines Day to you.
I knew you'd have something useful over here.
Happy V-Day, Fuzz!
Personally, I think Pearl Necklesses are fun to give every day of the year!!
When giving cemetery flowers, avoid the faded ones. '' Pastels '' are not IN nowdays.
I think any person would be found innocent of murder if their lover gave them a recycled sex toy.
Great hints.
Happy Valentines Day to you and Angry Joyce:)
You should write a book of romance advice Fuzz. :-)
More nookie with a cookie...
I like it!
Thanks for clearing that up! (I knew I was doing something wrong.)
Happy Valentine's Day, fuzz!
happy belated Heart Day fuzz
when I was younger, the material things meant something, now it is just nice to have the old fart beside me to whisper a tender word or give a light touch.
Share the love
Fuzz, you always make me giggle! Great advice, hope you had a good night!
Oh man, I had a feeling I should have checked your blog before Valentine's day.
Hopefully you have never given a date or gotten from a date crabs!
Thanks for the tips
the jewelry/funny-underwear exchange has never seemed quite fair to me
Enjoyed these ;-)
you are such a great mentor...
I hope the lack of a post doesn't mean that you violated your rules and were (finally) brutally murdered by A.J.!
-- david
Oh Fuzz, you always have the most appropriate advice. I wish you'd been a around a few years ago - could saved some people a lot of heartache. ;)
Hope you had a good V-Day.
WC
phoenix: Someone might like it. But I wouldn't want to think about it.
dear jane: True, true.
granny: Ain't that the truth.
paige: I hope he did well.
catch: But it can make your tongue sore.
david: No truer words could be spoken.
lisa: Thanks and I hope your V Day was a great one.
lolly: I try hard to be as useless as possible but sometimes I come up with a pearl or two.
mike: You and me both.
phred: Thanks for the tip.
mimi: The same to you and yours.
cz: Aahhhh.
pissy: And it's girl scout cookie time.
weirdgirl: I hope your day was the best.
ez: Sharing the love is better and a lot less expensive.
green eyes: It wasn't too shabby at all. Thanks!!!
angel, jr: There's always next year.
phats: I am pleading the fifth.
jim: I got funny boxers. I never have liked boxers much. It is too close to freeballing for my tastes.
terry: Glad that you liked it.
ol lady: I humbly bow to your graciousness.
david: Nope just busy as hell.
wc: I hope you had a great day as well.
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