Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Valentine's Day Do's and Don'ts

Just thought that I would try to give a little Valentines Day gift giving guideline for those guys that may be a little perplexed by the whole gift giving dilemma.

  1. While giving your significant other a pearl necklace is a great all season gift, on Valentine's Day opt for a diamond.
  2. While giving a cute little puppy or a fuzzy little kitty is a good pet to give for the occasion, crabs are not.
  3. Unless your significant other is a diabetic, do not give her sugar-free candy. Even if she normally eats only sugar-free candy, she will think you are calling her fat.
  4. Flowers are always a good bet but if you steal some from a cemetery remember to discard any R.I.P. cards.
  5. Remember re-gifting is bad and sex toys are not recyclable.

If guys would remember these few short simple rules, then we all could have a better Valentine's Day. Remember you get more nookie with a cookie but it's hard to lose with the right amount of booze.

27 comments:

The Phoenix said...

I also think a gerbil would be a bad gift too.

Dear Jane said...

especially a regifted one...

yellowdog granny said...

candy is dandy..but liquor is quicker

Paige Burns said...

Happy Heart Day Fuzz! I'm sending Mr. B your list, we'll see how he does...

Catch said...

Candy is dandy
but sex doesnt rot your teeth!

Happy Valentines Day Fuzz!!!! Huggs!

David Amulet said...

An additional important note: Even though Valentine's Day is abbreviated VD, it is NOT appropriate to give VD on VD.

-- david

LisaBinDaCity said...

I think you have served mankind admirably, Fuzz. Great job!

Happy Valentines Day to you.

Lolly said...

I knew you'd have something useful over here.
Happy V-Day, Fuzz!

Mike said...

Personally, I think Pearl Necklesses are fun to give every day of the year!!

phred said...

When giving cemetery flowers, avoid the faded ones. '' Pastels '' are not IN nowdays.

Mimi said...

I think any person would be found innocent of murder if their lover gave them a recycled sex toy.

Great hints.

Happy Valentines Day to you and Angry Joyce:)

Curare_Z said...

You should write a book of romance advice Fuzz. :-)

Big Pissy said...

More nookie with a cookie...

I like it!

the weirdgirl said...

Thanks for clearing that up! (I knew I was doing something wrong.)

Happy Valentine's Day, fuzz!

EZ said...

happy belated Heart Day fuzz
when I was younger, the material things meant something, now it is just nice to have the old fart beside me to whisper a tender word or give a light touch.
Share the love

Green Eyes said...

Fuzz, you always make me giggle! Great advice, hope you had a good night!

angel, jr. said...

Oh man, I had a feeling I should have checked your blog before Valentine's day.

Phats said...

Hopefully you have never given a date or gotten from a date crabs!

Thanks for the tips

Jim said...

the jewelry/funny-underwear exchange has never seemed quite fair to me

tsduff said...

Enjoyed these ;-)

Ol' Lady said...

you are such a great mentor...

David Amulet said...

I hope the lack of a post doesn't mean that you violated your rules and were (finally) brutally murdered by A.J.!

-- david

writer chick said...

Oh Fuzz, you always have the most appropriate advice. I wish you'd been a around a few years ago - could saved some people a lot of heartache. ;)
Hope you had a good V-Day.
WC

:P fuzzbox said...

phoenix: Someone might like it. But I wouldn't want to think about it.

dear jane: True, true.

granny: Ain't that the truth.

paige: I hope he did well.

catch: But it can make your tongue sore.

david: No truer words could be spoken.

:P fuzzbox said...

lisa: Thanks and I hope your V Day was a great one.

lolly: I try hard to be as useless as possible but sometimes I come up with a pearl or two.

mike: You and me both.

phred: Thanks for the tip.

mimi: The same to you and yours.

cz: Aahhhh.

pissy: And it's girl scout cookie time.

:P fuzzbox said...

weirdgirl: I hope your day was the best.

ez: Sharing the love is better and a lot less expensive.

green eyes: It wasn't too shabby at all. Thanks!!!

angel, jr: There's always next year.

phats: I am pleading the fifth.

:P fuzzbox said...

jim: I got funny boxers. I never have liked boxers much. It is too close to freeballing for my tastes.

terry: Glad that you liked it.

ol lady: I humbly bow to your graciousness.

david: Nope just busy as hell.

wc: I hope you had a great day as well.