- While giving your significant other a pearl necklace is a great all season gift, on Valentine's Day opt for a diamond.
- While giving a cute little puppy or a fuzzy little kitty is a good pet to give for the occasion, crabs are not.
- Unless your significant other is a diabetic, do not give her sugar-free candy. Even if she normally eats only sugar-free candy, she will think you are calling her fat.
- Flowers are always a good bet but if you steal some from a cemetery remember to discard any R.I.P. cards.
- Remember re-gifting is bad and sex toys are not recyclable.
If guys would remember these few short simple rules, then we all could have a better Valentine's Day. Remember you get more nookie with a cookie but it's hard to lose with the right amount of booze.